So I’m stumped. I’m planning my brother’s valima and I’m not sure how the evening should flow. Since its a valima, there’ll be speeches and a sitar player, and of course dinner, but we’re not having a DJ and its really more of a chance for the couple to mingle with people. I’m also not sure how much time to allot to the couple for sitting up on stage. I’m also concerned that people might find it boring or dull since we’re not having a DJ Given our crowd, I don’t think this’ll happen to many except for a handful who won’t appreciate the event haha but I’m still stressing over it.
Roughly speaking, I’m thinking:
Cocktail hour starts at 7, guests arrive, sitar player plays during this hour while people get seated, they mingle, greet each other.
Guests are welcomed, couple is announced in, they walk to stage.
Then what?
At around 8 (is 8:30 too late?) (depending on how many people have showed up on time), dinner is served. It’s a buffet. Sitar player takes up again. Couple gets off stage to get dinner and mingle.
Once people are seated after dinner, couple sits at the family/head table not back on stage. Or do they sit back on stage? Or does it matter?
Speeches begin- there will be three- my husband and I, my parents, the couple thanking guests.
Speeches over, the couple cuts their cake, cue dessert. Couple goes back to stage. I welcome guests to take pictures with the couple on stage, if they so wish. Sitar player starts playing again during this time or we have some background music in case the sitar player can’t stay that long.
More mingling, picture taking, people leave.
The couple are going on honeymoon the next morning and the event is on a Sunday, so its not terrible for the night to end around 11.
Does that make sense? I guess I’m just stuck on that time between the couple being seated on stage, and the dinner. Should my husband and I speak then and cue guests to dinner right after, and then after dinner and pre-dessert, my parents speak and then the couple thanks everyone for coming in their speech? Or is that too abrupt? I’ve been to other valimas and that part between the couple’s entrance and the dinner is the worst. Its so awkward. At one wedding, the couple were actually getting their photoshoot done on stage while everyone just looked on.
i know what you mean, i'm also planning this right now but i think our valima will also be a chance to be more social. you can add a slideshow portion from the wedding highlights
i think you should have the program and then serve dinner so people are free from then on. i feel like people get a little rowdy and antsy having to sit for speeches after dinner. if its a big crowd, its worse cuz it hard to manage everyone and then on top of that it gets late and some people get left out for pictures and the couple wont really have a chance to mingle freely while dinners going on. dont you think? I think after the entrance, it would be a great thing to welcome everyone and present your speeches and presentation and then have everyone be left for dinner while your family takes pictures and then people come up for their turns one by one through out the dinner slot. the sitar player can be playing through out dinner in the back ground till the end of the night.
I like sana's advice, but if your gathering it too big then you could serve dinner (mostly ppl in pakistan leave right after it) aand you can have a nice close family gatherting.
yeah.usually speeches are at the beginning when the couple sits on stage. also a lot of weddings i go to, as soon as the couple sits on the stage, they get up again to cut the cake ..lol. i always find that funny.
and like what someone said..most pple just jet home after they eat..especially if its on a sunday.
I think the main thing to focus on will be creating a schedule that you can realistically work to. Round here, you put 7pm on the card and your main influx of guests will be after 8.30pm!
The most recent walima we went to, they put 6pm on the card as arrival of the bride and groom and 7pm for dinner.
We knew people would be late, so arrived ourselves around 6.45pm. There were only about 4/5 guest families there and only FOUR members of the actual grooms family to greet people. The rest of his family arrived after 8.30pm and dinner was served at 9.45pm. There were no drinks/water put on the table until just before dinner. It was very badly executed.
I do agree that dinner shouldn't be served too early, as some guests only come and eat and then leave. But it also shouldn't be too late especially when children are going to be present.
I think the schedule you have sounds great so long as you manage to stick to it (given that people turn up on time)
After the couple walks in, let people mingle. Don't keep them restrained to their seat by planning out every lil detail of the event. I know they have already mingled but people actually wanna go up and meet the dulha dulhan.. not for pictures but to simply congratulate. After that annouce dinner because people will get antsy during ur speech if they aren't fed.
The speeches at the end sound good to me. We have been to so many graduation parties where people hate to sit through the speeches just to get to dinner. One graduation we went ro recently had speeches after dinner and that was great.
We are having 200 guests. Because people leave right after dinner and effectively, might end the party really early, I wanted to space out the speeches between dinner and dessert. I also don't want to launch into really emotional speeches as soon as guests are seated- it seems a bit much, no? And oh yeah, the slideshow. Hrm. Gotta fit that in somewhere too but I'm not a fan- its so boring, honestly, except for the close family of the couple who "awww" over every picture. I'm seriously debating not having one. Then again, what if we just keep it running in the background on the big screen in a loop? People can look at it as they want. I was also thinking we'd do a bunch of picture frames around the signing table with baby pictures so then we don't need the slideshow at all.
We have 6:30 on the invites; I know the gora public will be right on time and desi's will slowly trickle in by 7:30/8. Regardless, since its a hotel, we have a specific time set for dinner, so if people show up later than when its served, too bad. They can join in as food becomes available but since its a Sunday, we're not going to pander to the ones who show up late. Argh. I hate people who come to weddings 2 hours later than the start time specified.
Deviliciousss thats a good point about people wanting to congratulate the couple but doesn't it seem odd that they just come in and sit down? Something shouldn't be happening then?
Sana: I like your suggestion of getting the program out of the way but still not sure about the speeches right as soon as they enter but hrm...
How's this?
Cocktail hour
Welcome guests, introduce bride and groom
Couple's entrance
Speech by best man (forgot about this in the earlier schedule)
Dinner
Dinner over; couple doesn't go back to stage but comes up to cut cake although I like the idea of doing this privately while people are getting dinner so the photog can get some good shots without a ton of kids crowding the table and also its not really an event- they're just cutting the cake. The crowd doesn't have to be seated and viewing that part of the night, you know?
A sitar player is a great idea! I think I would prefer listening to the music, the whole evening and not just the cocktail hour or in between. Lovely!
I think the cake cutting should be done before dinner and little pieces of cake cut out and served for any guest who wants a sample when it is time for dessert.
I would prefer this setting and I don’t think anyone would be bored for just 4-5 hours.
Cocktail hour
Welcome guests, introduce bride and groom
Couple’s entrance
Speech by best man (forgot about this in the earlier schedule)
Cake cutting- I really don’t prefer a private cutting. If the couple is doing something they should do it with a huge fan-fare and loads of photographs.
Hubby offers a small bouquet of flowers to the wife and asks her to come and cut the cake with him.
Both get up and Light up some candles on the table.
Cut the cake with a fancy knife.
Feed small bits to each other and immediate family.
Dinner announced. Couple mingles with the guests while they eat.
Dinner over. Couple goes to the stage for the speeches and slide show.
I have been to weddings where we sat down after the couple walked in and all the aunties rushed up to the stage to part congratulate the couple and part chek them out up close and personal. People liKe getting settled in and lagaying gupshup.
i like the idea of playing the slideshow in a loop. on my BFF's valima, she had a bunch of pictures from teh mehndi and shadi on a slideshow and that played throughout the evening.
in the foyer they had photos of the couple with the guests from these previous events. they were posted on boards and people got to see them and at the end of the night, guests could take home their photos.
She also had a caricature done with her and her hubby....it was just so darn cute. it was on an easel and placed int he foyer entrance as well.
maybe instead of having only baby and childhood pics of the couple, why not have pics of the family - of close family who have passed away, not in town, and just some great family memories.
Mahi, I like your scheduling, but what about the parent's speech and the one my hubby and i will give? where would we slot those in? Also, we're actually doing pakistani dessert where the buffet will be (in the private cocktail area outside the ballroom), and a cupcake dessert table inside the hall; the couple will be cutting into a small 8" cake and most likely they'll be taking that to the hotel with them to enjoy later on.
Devilicious, good point... hrm.
Fatima, the wedding is in Toronto.
Afshi, I like the idea of having family pictures. At my wedding, I had a frame of pictures of past brides in our family and his- from our parents weddings, our cousins, our siblings, etc. It was on an easel next to the signing table so it was a great conversation point.
Most weddings Ive been to usually have at least a few of the speeches before dinner. Im trying to think, but I cant really recall any wedding where all of the speeches were left till after dinner
SGC slightly off topic but I wanted your advise as you did the whole wedding guest book thing.
I cant find a decent easel. This is what Ive found so far and I thought it would do as it also has somewhere to put the guestbook and pen. What do you think?
distinctiveflair, i'd look for something much simpler. check art stores in your area. ours just held the frame with all the bridal pics in it. the guest book was actually on a table next to it with all the seating cards. its easier for guests to sign at a table rather than an easel.
pink'd, we're using Prosad. his fusion sitar is gorgeous and so appropriate for a modern venue/setting.
Given our crowd, I don’t think this’ll happen to many except for a handful who won’t appreciate the event haha but I’m still stressing over it.