A friend of mine is in deep trouble It will be appreciated if you guys can seriously suggest something.
Me and him studied together for 7 years so I know he is a genuine lad very humble,sharp and mature..
He fell in love got married when he was in his teens and had a boy but then there was some problems separated and moved to London his ex moved to Paris with baby and boyfriend.
In the final year of uni he was going out with this 2nd year student a Pakistani girl,
they both were and are very much in love and got married last year. Girl was disowned and even I was threatened by her brothers and cousins and stuff but any way they got married.
Financially the guy is now very sound having few properties in London a very successful day trader.
Last month his EX wife called him from Paris and asked him to take his son cos he is now 10 and she is getting married cant keep him any more ..
I asked him millions of times to let his wife know that you have a son but he was too scared how she would react…
situation is very bad poor guy is depressed.
can any one suggest something..
A friend of mine is in deep trouble It will be appreciated if you guys can seriously suggest something.
Me and him studied together for 7 years so I know he is a genuine lad very humble,sharp and mature..
He fell in love got married when he was in his teens and had a boy but then there was some problems separated and moved to London his ex moved to Paris with baby and boyfriend.
In the final year of uni he was going out with this 2nd year student a Pakistani girl,
they both were and are very much in love and got married last year. Girl was disowned and even I was threatened by her brothers and cousins and stuff but any way they got married.
Financially the guy is now very sound having few properties in London a very successful day trader.
Last month his EX wife called him from Paris and asked him to take his son cos he is now 10 and she is getting married cant keep him any more ..
I asked him millions of times to let his wife know that you have a son but he was too scared how she would react....
situation is very bad poor guy is depressed.
can any one suggest something..
It's a sticky situation, but he put himself in it. I feel sorry for the son because he has a mother who doesn't want him (or who thought he was only acceptable till the age of 10) and a father who is concealing his existence from his 2nd wife. He's 10....and if he found out that his dad didn't tell his wife....he'd think "Gosh, nobody wants me? Is my dad ashamed of me?"
I think your friend (as nice as he may be) needs to stop thinking of himself......and start thinking of his son. There's really no way out of this but for him to tell his wife. Yes, it will be hard at first.......and she may get upset....but I think he will find immense relief after telling her (a huge weight will be lifted). The wife will have to evaluate the pros and cons to see if she still wants to stay married to him. If she loves him and is open-minded.....she may be upset....but she'll come around.
He needs to tell her before his son comes to live with them.
Even worse than the fact that this guy completely hid a previous wife and child is the fact that he ignored his own child for a decade. I'd not be able to continue such a farce of a marriage, one based on lies and deceptions to the point of ignoring his own offspring. He needs to own up and take whats coming to him sooner rather than later. Hopefully he'll grow up and hopefully his son wont realize what a dirtbag his father is.
^ thats a bit harsh. we dont know that he's been ignoring his son for 10 years. the poster never said if his friend has a relationship with his son or not...
Ur friend has no choice but to tell his wife and to tell her now. i cnt understand how he could marry someone he loves without telling her in the first place. there is no way he can conceal this from her any longer. he has this oppurtunity to sit her down and explain everything... the worst thing would be for her to find out from someone else... i.e. the ex wife turning up at his door step with their son.
I dont know what to say to you aside from the fact that your friend is horrible for walking away from the life of his child and entering another innocent person’s life…thinking no one would be the wiser? No one would know? Is this bachpana or plain evil? He climbed up the ladder, did his thing and decided to leave his son conveniently out of his new life? How has he been interacting with his child while living in London and his son in Paris? How has he remained an active part of his son’s life? Does he even pay child support? Does he call him? Does he see him? Does he care?
Im sure he cares NOW because he is about to be reunited with his offspring…not only that but his wife is about to become a stepmom! Im sure all of his paternal instincts are going wild but is this the time to be sympathetic towards him? NO.
He needs to go home, tell his current wife about his son and take responsibility for that poor child. Im glad his mother decided to call him…otherwise a 10 year old boy would never have even known he had a father.
What the dad did is wrong...........but in a way what the mother of the child did is MUCH WORSE.
If the kid never interacted with the dad..........he could have gotten used to that absence. You really can't hold many expectations from someone you've never seen. BUT.............to be suddenly dropped by your own mother after 10 years..........WOW. Imagine getting used to a way of life....and then being suddenly rejected. To think that you are secure with at least ONE parent....to find out that she wants to rid her hands of you. The dad might not have ever been around.......but the mom walked out on him....like "Surprise...I don't want you anymore." He may think that, "Mommy likes her boyfriend more than me."
And I wonder WHY? Why would she take care of him for 10 years (which is a long time) and then be through with him? Did she not truly love her son? If that were the case...why take her with him to Paris in the first place? Did she feel that she loves her fiance more than the child? Did her fiance brainwash/convince her to leave her child to her ex? Or did she have a strained relationship with her kid? Was he a difficult child and perhaps causing problems between the mom and her new love life?
This kid may develop (if he hasn't already) major self-esteem issue. And I hope that the dad makes up for it.
What the dad did is wrong...........but in a way what the mother of the child did is MUCH WORSE.
If the kid never interacted with the dad..........he could have gotten used to that absence. You really can't hold many expectations from someone you've never seen. BUT.............to be suddenly dropped by your own mother after 10 years..........WOW. Imagine getting used to a way of life....and then being suddenly rejected. To think that you are secure with at least ONE parent....to find out that she wants to rid her hands of you. The dad might not have ever been around.......but the mom walked out on him....like "Surprise...I don't want you anymore." He may think that, "Mommy likes her boyfriend more than me."
And I wonder WHY? Why would she take care of him for 10 years (which is a long time) and then be through with him? Did she not truly love her son? If that were the case...why take her with him to Paris in the first place? Did she feel that she loves her fiance more than the child? Did her fiance brainwash/convince her to leave her child to her ex? Or did she have a strained relationship with her kid? Was he a difficult child and perhaps causing problems between the mom and her new love life?
This kid may develop (if he hasn't already) major self-esteem issue. And I hope that the dad makes up for it.
Absolutely...I agree. I just cant believe a parent can abandon their child like that...doesnt something tear at you? Especially when they cant fend for themselves? Ohmigosh...my heart goes out to that poor kid...:(
No questions asked. He takes his son. This is not an issue of buying a new freaking car. Its his son. His blood. Who cares about that woman anyway. His son, his blood. He takes him back and that is exactly what you should tell him. The boy needs a family that will love him and that crazy ***** of a mother is not it.
And ladies hold your damn horses. Did the wife allow the husband to see the child? The fact that she moved to Paris which has a completely different legal structure for divorce or separation does not help.
Secondly the question of his second wife, whose business is that? Its not hiding because the first wife has no right to know. The divorce happened. They moved on with their lives. Who is not to say that the wife was not cheating on the husband, who is to say the first child is even his? Note that after the divorce the wife took her son and went with her boyfriend to live with him in Paris.
I am sorry you gotta be really ****ing stupid not to connect the dots on this one. No woman no matter how much of a harlot she is moves with baby in toe to Paris with a random guy she just met a few weeks or months ago. That is a serious commitment. Something you ladies have not picked up on at all. By choice most likely.
The husband by the information provided has done nothing wrong. The only thing he may have done that is his fault is with reference to his son. His wife is a damn whore.
He visits his son every couple of month and use to spend weekend together,they do talk over the phone few times in a week .
EX receives money monthly from him for his son.
The guy Never abandon his child Loves him a lot and his son loves him aswell ..
Its Obviously not the same since he got married, some times he use to travel twice a month to see his son but now he cannot and His Ex found out few months ago that he got married and that could be the reason behind her sending Kid..
PS. He is worried about his kid and that's the only reason why he is so depressed.
The question is how would his wife react, what should he do to calm his wife down when when she finds out,,,
I dont think your friend is as bad as his ex, the most he did is 'he didnt tell' (note he didnt lie/deny) his second wife, and the consequence of that he will have to face now whether he likes it or not. and the sooner, the better.
However, the ex is worse for dumping her 10 year old just becuase she is going to get married? What kind of message does that send to the kid? But considering the dad really cares for him, the kid shouldnt be any worse off with him, infact he's probably much better off!
But i would take back my son and see it this way… he is my blood and if he is geniunley mine then it’s his choice and if he needs me then i will come to him… and if my wife hated me for that then fine…
Firstly i would never get into this situation but once in i would look out for the kid… hell my friend this man has a child if i had a son he would mean the world to me even one son i would happily serve an eternity for…
so his ex cant keep their son because shes gettn married??? what a disgrace!! that girl needs help. a child should always stay with their mother, no matter what the situation. i feel sorry for the child.
Toubah :(
I hate when kids get stuck in the middle, bechara bacha :(
the child should not be neglected, and the father should take resonsibilty as a human being? the Mother and father should be ashamed of such behavior, how can a mother choose to give up a child for another marraige, i would much rather stay single all my life with child that to neglect my own bacha and get married
How can the father ignore the child as well
10 YEARS!
teek hai, joh bhi hogaya, hogaya.
Now is the time for the dad to step up regardless if he is married, if his wife trully loves him she will accept the child
they should not think the child is a burden, a child is a blessing
