What the problem with these desis Abroad.?

Lifestyle Relationships
1

I have my elder brother, couple of my cousins and quite a few relatives abroad… Whenever they come back they are always like criticizing… I am currently doing a job and planning to do Masters but from here (Pakistan).. But my brother want me to do the masters from abroad…
I said to him only 1 thing that i haven;t yet come across a single desi who is abroad and doesn’t complain/criticize about Pakistan whenever he gets a chance… So i don’t want to be like that.. (No matter wot he says, his all the schooling till graduation happened in this environment and the success he have attained is more due to this early schooling than due to the education he obtained there)
.. so i want myself to keep working for this community and this country in wotever capacity i am… even if it means that i have to sacrifise a little earning for this… I want to be the one delivering for this motherland not the one always criticizing..

Then i see these discussion on this forum and people always criticizing even on the napping of other ppl… Come on this way too much.. I have come to the conclusion that these Desis abroad have nothing else other than to criticize for their motherland and they do criticsm just for the sake of criticsm and not for the betterment of the community… may be they feel that the more they will criticize the more the americans will like them.

I am not here denying the fact that there are problems and there r issue in this community.. and definitely we have to solve them in wotever position we are… But remember its we who have to solve them not anybody else… some of us have to become the first drop of the rain..

So my question is how to handle this abroad Desis.? i don;t want to loose my temper esp with my elder brother after all this is my ethical and religious duty to behave properly with him but at the same time i want to send my message loud and clear to him that this is my motherland and i am here to stay and help it in every way possible.

ps. btw he did challange me recently that if i think that desis abroad become too critical all the time than i come there and stay and then show them the proper way.. but i told him on the face that a man is known by the company he keeps… So i m sure staying in such an unhealthy community will definitely make me behave like them too.. So i don’t want to take the risk..:blush: Moreover these quotes are more or less accurate.

2

Re: What the problem with these desis Abroad.?

[QUOTE]
So my question is how to handle this abroad Desis.?
[/QUOTE]

Just remind them how they are treated abroad. If they still continue show them some evidence from newspapers/TV/net etc.

3

Re: What the problem with these desis Abroad.?

I know a few people who are like that, and I'd say to them, just don't go to Pakistan then, if al you are going to do is complain and if you can't enjoy it.

Certainly there are things that can be improved, just like there are in any society, but if they are only complaining, without giving a sense of balance, I'd just ignore them.

4

Re: What the problem with these desis Abroad.?

I won't say it on anyone else's behalf.....but as for myself, I'm not to crticise. And a few who do, in my family don't do it just for the sake of it. My husband, for example....he says, there's nothing wrong in being underdeveloped etc. but you need to do something about it. Most of the people in Pakistan now have a bias while listening to our views. They think we are perhaps suffering from inferiority complex of sorts n thats why we point out the things which are not all that good. As a matter of fact, we are more desis in our language/appearance n hearts than a big majority out there in Pakistan.

The only thing I have noticed is, our brothers back home don't welcome any ideas of improvement. In most cases they'd reply, this is the way things are here....' a blunt way of saying, we are not willing to change.

Eaach society has its own positives n negatives. We just can't dump one to portray the other better. IMHO we all should look for good things in each society n try to adopt it to improve ourselves.There are many things I don't really support in pakistani society just like I don't appreciate a lot of things in westren society.

Its a constructive thinking to be the first raindrop towards welfare of our homeland but it does not necessarily require to not move out at any cost. You can always move back after learning a thing or two.

And please remember, I didn't intend to discourage you...you can understand your position better than any of us on this board. I just tried to explain my take on this.

5

Re: What the problem with these desis Abroad.?

X_Com, You must realise that your elder brother is your well-wisher. He has seen the world and wants you to achieve the best in life.

Whereas you are being emotional, and trying to justify & cover up your fear of going into the unknown(abroad). You are now in a comfort zone, friends, family, relatives - and you are probably to scared to leave this.

I have met fools like you even in India - and then they repent it after several years. They are married with kids and now want to settle abroad - and can't since they have so much more responsibilities.

6

Re: What the problem with these desis Abroad.?

its something that u will get when u come over.. :halo:

7

Re: What the problem with these desis Abroad.?

I have met alot of people like that in the UK, and even i who was born in the UK i cannot undrestand why they do this. In fact I'm always telling my family that i would love to move to Pakistan, and they're like yeah, yeah!!! However, i do believe there are opportunities available in Pakistan, and not everyone in the UK is happy (just like at the crime rate and drug problems).

So X-C do no feel under any pressure to go abroad.

8

Re: What the problem with these desis Abroad.?

X you are like: Let me sleep a little more ... and your brother wants you to wakeup and start your day.

Every 1111 th poster WINS.....
9

Re: What the problem with these desis Abroad.?

well that kind of "keera" mostly found when desi move abroad, they tend to have right to critisize motherland without remembering own past and situation in Pakistan.

I have moved from Pak to UK and have found such breed here, I would say they are not proud of what they belong to, but I am. whatever is Pakistan it is my motherland.

normal human tend to compare both worlds but a sane person should consider all the pros and cons and the factors before simply pak bashing.

i still remember when i first came here years back, seeing every good thing here I wished it to be present in Pakistan.

Ma'sh Allah, many of my simple wishes for my country has been materialised, many will be acheived at the end though may be slowly.

I love our own journey to prosper in our own way with our own difficult environment and scarce resources.
Rather than jumping to a developed boat of some one else and consider it as my/our own acheivement.

during my last month's visit to MyLand - Pakistan. though i wasnt please about the traffic etc, people attitude, but hey thats the way we are , thats our Pakistan. I wish it to be better and better and trust me its changing. If someone go back history of now developed Nations, they passed this point too. They had land mafia, feudals, women opperession, child labour. etc

it vanished with progress of the nation, and it will happen in Pakistan too sooner or later.

So my sister, dont brand every desi who moved abroad as such :) many of us are not like that.

Pakistan Zindabad

10

Re: What the problem with these desis Abroad.?

I have always wanted to go back to Pakistan once I complete my studies. I am still planning on that and therefore, every step I take I have to remember that I'm going back in few years. Yes, a lot of people think its not going to happen and it may not happen the exact moment I complete my residency, but inshallah it will workout somehow.. I'll figure something out..

I personally wanted to come here for study for exposure... to real world, perspectives, diversity, development.. and yes, there was a price to it but I believe what I gained was worth it..

I know for a fact that in Pakistan you are not exposed to practical environment. Basically, when one graduates all they have is knowledge from books. Education comes later when they actually start working in a real world. It has improved from previous situations tho, now they have internships etc as well. But its still not enough.. there should be much more. Here, the competitiveness is at its peak and that perks people to do their very best.. everyday. I don't see that in Pakistan that often.. may be in private companies, but govt sector always lags behind :(

If you want to do something for your community, you can do it this way too. I can't really say it'll be more effective, but I hv seen good examples this way, you can have more influence if you are recognised and carry a good position-fact of life.

11

Re: What the problem with these desis Abroad.?

X- I have lived all my life out of Pakistan, but any chance I get I try to get back, my point is not everybody who leaves the country starts criticizing, IMO its only the people who have Inferiority complex and who feel that everything nonPakistani is great, start behaving like this.

do not let this kind of attitude hinder you from attaining your goal. after all you do have an option to go back to Pakistan after finishing the studies. and at the same time maybe you will be able to show these wannabes what real Pakistan is.

12

Re: What the problem with these desis Abroad.?

Hang on guys. People in PK criticize everything, everyday, everywhere, all the time. You go to Office, sm1 is criticizing sm1, politics, corruption, people’s extravagance, their attitudes, their lack of helfulness, government’s failure, even if it is working much better than it had been, blaming army for everything, milawat, dikhawa, mehngaye, lack of proper schooling, too many private schools etc etc. You name it and ppl talk about it all the time, every forum, shops, offices, school/colleges, when ppl go to meet friends at their houses, families about rishtaydaars, inlaws, saas-bahu in almost every household. Name me a single event or place where ppl don’t complain about anything?

On top of it, they get on GS and complain about desis Abroad :wink:

Why members get banned?
13

Re: What the problem with these desis Abroad.?

I liked hte idea of living in Pakistan after I graduated. Until I went to Pakistan for four months. RIght now I don't even want to think about visiting, much less settling in. ugh.

14

Re: What the problem with these desis Abroad.?

^ This is what happens to those living abroad, they become unfit to live in Pakistan or for that matter its true for any third world country. Thats why stats show that most of the people of 3rd world who leave their country find it very hard to come back and settle down again.

15

Re: What the problem with these desis Abroad.?

Actually it wasn't the 3-worldness of it but rather the people, their attitudes, and most of all my loss of independence that makes me cringe at t thought of going back (at least right now--we'll see in 6 months)

16

Re: What the problem with these desis Abroad.?

I suppose we're even then.

Many of us residing abroad find it difficult to adjust back home and criticize Pakistan for the corruption, pollution, and whatever else is wrong there.

Similarly, those residing in Pakistan love to criticize many of us abroad because many of us residing abroad are somehow more corrupt, immoral, less cultural, and supposedly earning more, but not bringing back expensive enough presents.

It likely boils to finding comfort in the region you live in and obviously you tend to find it difficult to adjust or adapt to the conditions and culture elsewhere.

17

Re: What the problem with these desis Abroad.?

life in the west is comfortable and there's no one to tell you what do to (which is bad in a way). My Pakistani friend who has 6 daughters is moving back to Lahore after living for 28 (he's like my uncle) years in this country. He tells west is not a good place to grow your daughters into teenager or even adult plus they'll find their own groom who might not be a Pakistani. While in California, he sent his daughters to a school where desis where in majority.

18

Re: What the problem with these desis Abroad.?

^like its easy to find reasonable @rishta@ in pak; we all know they grow on trees there

Goodnews ki Khidmat-i-Aqdas mai
19

Re: What the problem with these desis Abroad.?

yawn Why does every thread turn into people making silly generalizatings about life in or people from the West/East?

Does anyone really believe that it's all that simple?

20

Re: What the problem with these desis Abroad.?

Yes if u are looking in the same biradri, it is easy.. like if you confine yourself in the same caste/sub-caste, you might land up with ristha soon.