This post is a tribute to all the fobs, pimps, gangsta’s, romeo’s, and science nerds out there looking for love on online muslim websites.
Here is what turns us girls OFF. In case you want to take these hints and go fix your profiles.
The Mummy Daddy boy: Ad reads something like “Our son is looking for a young slim fair girl age 22-25, he is a very smart doctor”.
A. No smart doctor has their mummy daddy posting such crappy ads for their son. Is that what they did for his radiology resume? Please accept our son to your program, he is so wonderful. Acha, whatever.
B. A girl is looking for a guy online, not his amma.
C. It’s obvious the dude has no clue his profile is being placed online, if he is normal; and if he does have a clue, then conversely, he is not normal.
Baby kisser: The guy who posts his profile pic with a baby in hand. It’s probably his sister’s baby or brother’s baby or he grabbed it from his next door neighbor.
It’s a cheap shot, but if the girl is ovulating, you may have a chance. Especially if a picture of you by yourself is fairly dismal in comparison.
The Fair and Slim Guy: this is the guy who makes the horrific mistake of writing in his profile that he wants someone fair and slim. First of all, those of us who are not fair and slim wont give you a chance, and secondly those who are fair and slim would think it arrogant of you to ask for someone pretty when you’re likely a troll.
Unkept Guy: What the hell is up with these terrible profile pics. I’ve seen pics where the guys aren’t properly groomed or dressed appropriately, or they have messy haircuts, or they look like they need to seriously lose weight. The best profiles are the ones where he is wearing a suit, or tie, or something formal or reasonably semi-formal. And wearing a namaaz ki topi with a 3 foot beard is not helping anyone. Really. Even the Burqa-clad women probably get a tad turned off.
The Sexy Man: even too much of a good thing can be bad. Some of these pictures and profile descriptions are pretty inappropriate for a muslim website. Don’t expose your chest. Don’t post a topless picture of yourself. Even if you have a six pack. Cuz then it means you’re full of yourself. Don’t be angling your body in 10 different directions, and certainly, MOST CERTAINLY, don’t pose with a thumbs up sign in your picture.
The Country Hopper: If you live in Dubai, try to focus on the ladies in Dubai. If you live in New Delhi, try to focus on the ladies in New Delhi. How many guys from Bangalore am I to reject on shaadi dot com??? I’ve even placed filters, and somehow the Bangloris still get through. What the hell do they expect? That I’m going to go live there? Or moreover, I’m going to bust my butt getting them here when I don’t even know them??
By the way, please take note that Bangalore has the best looking fobs.
Unkept Guy: What the hell is up with these terrible profile pics. I've seen pics where the guys aren't properly groomed or dressed appropriately, or they have messy haircuts, or they look like they need to seriously lose weight. The best profiles are the ones where he is wearing a suit, or tie, or something formal or reasonably semi-formal. **And wearing a namaaz ki topi with a 3 foot beard is not helping anyone. Really. Even the Burqa-clad women probably get a tad turned off.
**
Why? Do people with a beard don't have the right to get married?
This post is a tribute to all the fobs, pimps, gangsta's, romeo's, and science nerds out there looking for love on online muslim websites.
Here is what turns us girls OFF. In case you want to take these hints and go fix your profiles.
The Mummy Daddy boy: Ad reads something like "Our son is looking for a young slim fair girl age 22-25, he is a very smart doctor".
A. No smart doctor has their mummy daddy posting such crappy ads for their son. Is that what they did for his radiology resume? Please accept our son to your program, he is so wonderful. Acha, whatever.
B. A girl is looking for a guy online, not his amma.
C. It's obvious the dude has no clue his profile is being placed online, if he is normal; and if he does have a clue, then conversely, he is not normal.
Baby kisser: The guy who posts his profile pic with a baby in hand. It's probably his sister's baby or brother's baby or he grabbed it from his next door neighbor.
It's a cheap shot, but if the girl is ovulating, you may have a chance. Especially if a picture of you by yourself is fairly dismal in comparison.
The Fair and Slim Guy: this is the guy who makes the horrific mistake of writing in his profile that he wants someone fair and slim. First of all, those of us who are not fair and slim wont give you a chance, and secondly those who are fair and slim would think it arrogant of you to ask for someone pretty when you're likely a troll.
Unkept Guy: What the hell is up with these terrible profile pics. I've seen pics where the guys aren't properly groomed or dressed appropriately, or they have messy haircuts, or they look like they need to seriously lose weight. The best profiles are the ones where he is wearing a suit, or tie, or something formal or reasonably semi-formal. And wearing a namaaz ki topi with a 3 foot beard is not helping anyone. Really. Even the Burqa-clad women probably get a tad turned off.
The Sexy Man: even too much of a good thing can be bad. Some of these pictures and profile descriptions are pretty inappropriate for a muslim website. Don't expose your chest. Don't post a topless picture of yourself. Even if you have a six pack. Cuz then it means you're full of yourself. Don't be angling your body in 10 different directions, and certainly, MOST CERTAINLY, don't pose with a thumbs up sign in your picture.
The Country Hopper: If you live in Dubai, try to focus on the ladies in Dubai. If you live in New Delhi, try to focus on the ladies in New Delhi. How many guys from Bangalore am I to reject on shaadi dot com??? I've even placed filters, and somehow the Bangloris still get through. What the hell do they expect? That I'm going to go live there? Or moreover, I'm going to bust my butt getting them here when I don't even know them??
By the way, please take note that Bangalore has the best looking fobs.
Impressed with your experties. Currently i am busy in making my profile on date.com. Will you please assist ? :D
How about sunglasses guy? And guy who ignores your profile and doesn't meet any of your criteria but messages you anyway? or how about guy who is sleezy and isn't looking to marry tries to get you in false sense of I like you, then to hit you with - I am only looking to date a few a weeks later??
Or how about - student visa guy, my visa is running out will you marry me?? Or CV guy, his profile reads like a resume. Your looking for a life partner not a job.
Or how about - and I LOVEEEEEEEEE THIS ONE - Guy who is the same age as you or slightly younger (by a year) or something and states on his profile you must be exactly 3 years younger or 5... otherwise I will not talk to you. And then messages you anyway
Or how about super relgious guy - who has super religious stuff on his profile (MashAllah and good for him, but his profile is starting to sound like something read at the mosque?) and it clearly says you are trying to better yourself as a muslim but messages you anyway and then goes no we won't be compatible after you make this clear -
This post is a tribute to all the fobs, pimps, gangsta's, romeo's, and science nerds out there looking for love on online muslim websites.
Here is what turns us girls OFF. In case you want to take these hints and go fix your profiles.
The Mummy Daddy boy: Ad reads something like "Our son is looking for a young slim fair girl age 22-25, he is a very smart doctor".
A. No smart doctor has their mummy daddy posting such crappy ads for their son. Is that what they did for his radiology resume? Please accept our son to your program, he is so wonderful. Acha, whatever.
B. A girl is looking for a guy online, not his amma.
C. It's obvious the dude has no clue his profile is being placed online, if he is normal; and if he does have a clue, then conversely, he is not normal.
Baby kisser: The guy who posts his profile pic with a baby in hand. It's probably his sister's baby or brother's baby or he grabbed it from his next door neighbor.
It's a cheap shot, but if the girl is ovulating, you may have a chance. Especially if a picture of you by yourself is fairly dismal in comparison.
The Fair and Slim Guy: this is the guy who makes the horrific mistake of writing in his profile that he wants someone fair and slim. First of all, those of us who are not fair and slim wont give you a chance, and secondly those who are fair and slim would think it arrogant of you to ask for someone pretty when you're likely a troll.
Unkept Guy: What the hell is up with these terrible profile pics. I've seen pics where the guys aren't properly groomed or dressed appropriately, or they have messy haircuts, or they look like they need to seriously lose weight. The best profiles are the ones where he is wearing a suit, or tie, or something formal or reasonably semi-formal. And wearing a namaaz ki topi with a 3 foot beard is not helping anyone. Really. Even the Burqa-clad women probably get a tad turned off.
The Sexy Man: even too much of a good thing can be bad. Some of these pictures and profile descriptions are pretty inappropriate for a muslim website. Don't expose your chest. Don't post a topless picture of yourself. Even if you have a six pack. Cuz then it means you're full of yourself. Don't be angling your body in 10 different directions, and certainly, MOST CERTAINLY, don't pose with a thumbs up sign in your picture.
The Country Hopper: If you live in Dubai, try to focus on the ladies in Dubai. If you live in New Delhi, try to focus on the ladies in New Delhi. How many guys from Bangalore am I to reject on shaadi dot com??? I've even placed filters, and somehow the Bangloris still get through. What the hell do they expect? That I'm going to go live there? Or moreover, I'm going to bust my butt getting them here when I don't even know them??
By the way, please take note that Bangalore has the best looking fobs.
Don't be too harsh on yourself PCG. Everything happens for the best, even though we may not realise that at the time. When you go out looking for love then it is difficult to find it. It comes to you when you are not expecting it.
