When we got married, my in-laws were renting a condo. I lived in that condo with them for about three months and that’s when hubby decided to buy a house. He bought a house and we all moved in. All this time, my husband was applying to jobs elsewhere too. We knew we’ll eventually move to a different city/state. He bought that house thinking that he’s buying it for his parents because despite living here for 25+ yrs, his dad was never able to buy a house, so he wanted to give them a house. His older brother was already working and married at that time too, but DIDN’T help with down-payment or even a dollar for any of the expenses. We lived in that new house for 8-9 months until he got a job offer in North Carolina and we moved there. We were there for about 3 years and then moved to Atl. In-laws used to come to NC too but not for 9-10 months at once. They used to come for 3-4 months, then leave for 2-3 months and then come back for 3-4 months…coz my youngest BIL didn’t have a job then. They used to bring him too (he was doing online schooling).
The other kids don't even bother calling and telling them to come over. Yes, my hubby and I are enablers, we both know it, but can't help it much :( I guess I should've stood up for myself since the beginning and now since it's too late, I have to take baby steps, so, it'll take a long while till I get there.
My MIL is really active. She's not even 50 yet. She can take care of the whole house if she intends to. Besides, she's never done anything for FIL anyways. Since I got married, I always saw him wash his own clothes, make his own breakfast, chai, even clean bathrooms/kitchen and stuff. But, he doesn't do much when at my place bcoz obviously I do it. MIL never does much for him and when they came to stay with us once few years ago, he was doing his stuff and MIL started saying "app rehne den bahu kisliye hai". Since then, he doesn't do anything when I'm around, but when they go to their house for however many months, he does his own stuff. Hubby doesn't help anyone, not me, not his mom. He's really tired by the time he gets off of work and then goes to the gym, then comes home. Hubby knows his mom can do everything, it's just he doesn't want them to say stuff about WHY he let me go.
Hubby's already booked my ticket but now MIL is playing the "can't fly in pregnancy" card. The flight is only about 3 hours and it's not like I'm near my due date. She's just playing innocent and saying stuff like the baby gets effected from the flight.....right! My husband is not even saying a word back to them anymore, at least he used to say "some" stuff before but not anymore....don't know what changed. He's fine with me (most of the time) but doesn't wanna hear anything about them or say anything to them.