Re: What should I do???
you could have a women-only function, or a small scale event, with close family and friends only. let the in laws know that you guys will be doing a small function because of whatever xyz reason (family tradition, etc) and they are welcome to participate- do not hide it, because these things have a way of coming out in the open and biting you in the ass later. they can choose whether they wish to be a part of it.
theres ways to scale down, other than cutting the number of guests attending... instead of a dj, or band baja, you can simply have a dholak, for example.
if it looks like it will create too much tension, either give in and skip the function or find a groom who is ok with you and your families beliefs.
t the end of the day, dont let this get in the way of your future happiness, and make your decision accordingly.