Re: What puts off Asian men?
Lose some weight, you will feel much better in yourself and should benefit your health too. Do not do it for rishtas, do it for yourself.
Re: What puts off Asian men?
As with many people in the same boat as me, I have tried many times to lose weight for myself. In fact, all my previous attempts have been for me. My desire to find a partner is something that I’ve only given serious thought recently.
You’re all right, and deep down I know it too. It is something else knowing and quite another admitting your own failings.
I think I need a different way of doing this. I’ve recently gotten into learning more about how thoughts and behaviours work - I think I need some introspection and figure out why I haven’t managed to sustain efforts at weight loss and work on it. I may even blog it, for accountability if nothing else. Maybe…
Re: What puts off Asian men?
Don’t blame yourself. Weight control is a lot more than food and exercise. It’s more about organism’s control of fat content. With a strict diet control and exercise, one can override body’s natural tendency to accumulate and sustain fat stores. So it’s always an uphill battle for the overweight, For they have to use their mind and will power to control what should happen by itself. Consider it like a person who cannot feel thirst or dehydration and cannot get rid of excess water as well, he will have to maintain his water intake consciously all the time. For others, our mind gives us signals when we need to drink and when we don’t.
Re: What puts off Asian men?
Smh why do us brown guys have such bad reputations. The other day my friends were talking about how us Pakistani guys are trash and they only had bad experiences lol.
Re: What puts off Asian men?
That’s the sad thing about the arranged marriage process, you could have a heart of gold but you’ll be judged solely on the way you look to begin with. I’ve experienced it as a girl being judged by rishtas, and I’ve seen my male cousins judging other girls based solely on their looks. Nothing else mattered, not their personalities, their education, their family background, if she wasn’t pretty she wasn’t considered even for a second.
Re: What puts off Asian men?
There are equal pressures on males also, how many girls are willing to give a balding manlet a chance because he has a heart of Gold. We know this Indian power couple both specialists, thriving inter faith marriage and Dr. Brenda was saying how joining the gym and hiring a personal trainer changed her life I think Op should hire a PT. You don’t necessarily need to lose weight, just the toning and blood flow and elevated mood are rewards enough.
Re: What puts off Asian men?
I actually fully agree with you.
I’ve been speaking to an amazing friend this evening. She has this interest in human psychology and how our brains work and how this influences our lives etc. I have learnt a great deal from her over the years.
We were talking about how/why it is that my efforts have not succeeded in the past and what I could do differently. We spoke about a lot of stuff, but one thing I’ve taken away from that is I’m going to get a personal trainer and she’s going to help me along by taking me with her for her range of sessions (does all sorts of fitness stuff).
But, in true me fashion, that’s not all going to happen immediately. I’m gymming it with her tomorrow, but the PT will have to wait another two weeks as I’m going on holiday (eek food!!)
Re: What puts off Asian men?
Thank you.
I’m going to tackle this differently this time. I need to understand my brain/why I eat the wrong stuff/don’t work out etc and change those behaviours slowly. We shall see…
Re: What puts off Asian men?
I agree. It’s frustrating but I suppose in this kind of a set up, there is no way for the other stuff to shine through. It’s a desi version on swiping left or right based on looks. But more ingrained into our culture haha!
I think what’s sadder is that even when people know really well a girl like that (ie great person etc, but lacking in height/colour/weight/family/whatever) she’s still not given a chance. I’ve seen it several times - these are sometimes the same people that regret not choosing the less attractive girl when they discover the beautiful girl has some personality trait they don’t like.
Re: What puts off Asian men?
Sorry!
Yes, it’s definitely unfair to portray it as a female-only issue. I completely understand - Pakistanis want a tall, not-too-dark, well-educated, loaded man for their daughters and sisters. I can see how not having the ‘right’ degree or career would be a no after another in the rishta scene.
So yes, we’ve all become very materialistic in the way we search for partners in the desi rishta scene. It’s so very frustrating for all. I have no solutions and I have no answers.
Re: What puts off Asian men?
So I was starting to feel my age and I have to take Lil Harris to training at 5.30 am and some evenings, I started exercising again while I waited for Harris and all of a sudden I was happy excited and full of energy again, it had positive effect on my relationships and my work and sleep etc. I was joking with my staff that going to the temple may not give us what we need but making gym your temple will give you everything. When I take Harris swimming I see many people aqua sizing also. Some of the Zumba dance classes seemed fun too. I am rooting for you.
Re: What puts off Asian men?
Thank you, that’s very kind of you.
I may blog my efforts and thoughts, I’ll see. 
Re: What puts off Asian men?
@Hoverer come join @Munni and I in the blogs! We have a weekly accountability check in (she posts hers on Saturday and I post mine on Sunday.) We can be workout/ food buddies! 
Re: What puts off Asian men?
How kind of you to invite me. Thank you, I will.
I’m off on a short holiday on Sunday. I shall start next weekend, InshaAllah.
I’ve also booked my first personal trainer session in January. Fingers crossed I make sustainable changes!
Re: What puts off Asian men?
A lot of guys these days seem to be into bigger women. It surprised me to be honest. I am overweight and go back and forth on how much I want to lose and its always interesting what guys I meet have to say on the matter.
Re: What puts off Asian men?
Men love curvy women cause it means their fertile, that’s what the science says.
Re: What puts off Asian men?
Underachievers, lower status has been found to be associated with likes for bigger women and opposite for slim women.
I know of no, sound scientific basis for curviness and subconscious association with fertility. These days a lot of things are being associated with biological/evolutionary traits without any hard evidence. Take that with a few grains of salt.
Re: What puts off Asian men?
Ancient drawings in East European caves depict some of the most curvaceous women ever with massive busts and bums. There is definite evidence plus sizes and voluptuous women were associated with fertility and beauty in the past.
Re: What puts off Asian men?
Well there is plenty of evidence that best fertility rates occur in women with normal weight range, that is BMI 18-25. Beauty - may be, it will go with the present studies that for men with less resources, bigger women are more attractive. For cave dwellers , production, storage and distribution was not that developed.
Re: What puts off Asian men?
By curvy i didn’t mean fat lol, i meant thin with big curves. Plus size is not curvy.