Wow, it’s like I’m infallible. I say something considered to be a “haaw haai” (not that I gave any specifics about size)…and I’m deemed innocent…and all the blame is put on someone else. This is awesome. I can get away with murder.
Ahem…Oh Corrupting Influence…if I kill someone…it’s you that shall hang for it.
Just to explain myself better, all else in a relationship being okay, but the if the spark goes out or for some reason the couple just isn't in love, does it make sense to end a relationship? You have two decent people, but no passion or dare I say intellectual compatibility - should we use that as a basis to end the relationship?
No we shouldn't, because that by no means spells the end of the relationship. I was referring to cases where a wife would quietly suffer through an abusive marriage because of the taboo of divorce, or a husband suffering through life after being deceived into marriage with a mentally ill woman. Marriages weren't perfect in the old days and usually one of the partners had to sacrifice a lot to keep the marriage intact. We didn't hear about it then but now people are more educated and can choose to liberate themselves from bad relationships.
No we shouldn't, because that by no means spells the end of the relationship. I was referring to cases where a wife would quietly suffer through an abusive marriage because of the taboo of divorce, or a husband suffering through life after being deceived into marriage with a mentally ill woman. Marriages weren't perfect in the old days and usually one of the partners had to sacrifice a lot to keep the marriage intact. We didn't hear about it then but now people are more educated and can choose to liberate themselves from bad relationships.
So your definition of a bad relationship is one where there is abuse and mental instability, but a lack of a spark doesn't make for a bad relationship. So then, why if a lack of spark is not a cause/reason to exit a relationship, then why is it a reason to not enter a relationship?
Sparks? So what's supposed to happen? Fireworks? Hyperventilation? GooGoo-GaaGaa?
Frankly speaking I don't understand this whole hype about fireworks but here's my take on this topic.
When a guy or a girl reaches that age where he/she thinks, "aright I'm done with this celibate life I got going and it's time to step up the game and get married" then it wouldn't hurt to give a serious thought to what kind of qualities you'd want in your partner. If you've reached this point then you probably have a good idea about yourself, the kind of people you can get along with and what sort of person would make a compatible spouse and would make you happy.
These can be any qualities depending on what you prefer. Be it family, ethnicity, looks, religion, education, finances, looks,shapes, sizes,cooking skills (I chose a guy who can cook well-compliments of the dorm room lifestyle). Anything!
You should have a fairly decent idea of what you want to get yourself into.
Now if you come across someone who fits 90% of the list and the rest 10 is something you can be flexible about then go for it ( I know it's not all precisely proportionate like that but you know what I mean).
Key is to know what you want and know what you can be a little flexible with. You can have a decent conversation with this guy and feel an attraction towards him then that's good enough . Don't reject a decent rishta because you're not getting them fancy 'sparks' and aren't completely in love with him. People can fall out of love just like they can fall in love. There are a lot more bases to cover besides the spark part.
I think the education, family etc is important but there IS such a thing as sparks. When it doesn't burn out is when you combine the sparks with the compatibility.
It's been proven that you feel that something with people whose genes are most different to you. Kisses with them are better, and you'll subconsciously feel attracted to their smell as well. This will help the baby have the most diverse immune system so you naturally feel attracted to those people.
Don't reject a decent rishta because you're not getting them fancy 'sparks' and aren't completely in love with him.
I don't think most ppl are naive enough to think the 'sparks' or that sudden chemistry must mean falling in love, going gagaga, fireworks etc., for me it was just a pull towards him and immediately wanting to get to know him more rather than say feeling indifferent or just going thru the motions for the sake of it as some ppl seem to do.. Sparks tend to be a strong jolt signalling an initial attraction and nothing wrong with using that as a 'base' to build a relationship on imo..
I don't think most ppl are naive enough to think the 'sparks' or that sudden chemistry must mean falling in love, going gagaga, fireworks etc., for me it was just a pull towards him and immediately wanting to get to know him more rather than say feeling indifferent or just going thru the motions for the sake of it as some ppl seem to do.. Sparks tend to be a strong jolt signalling an initial attraction and nothing wrong with using that as a 'base' to build a relationship on imo..
Which is exactly what I was referring to in my post above. You just feel like hanging out with that person. Of course I would say it's different for young teenagers because at that age (12-16 ish) you feel like jumping anything that moves lol
…haaw haaaye 