Say you have two nice people, decent, normal, not too much drama in their lives.
Compatible education, background, religious values and the families like one another. So far so good and sounds great on paper.
But is this enough to enter into a relationship or should there be more and what is that “more”?
Re: What more could you want in a partner?
what is that "more"?
the 'sparks'...
Re: What more could you want in a partner?
Say you have two nice people, decent, normal, not too much drama in their lives.
Compatible education, background, religious values and the families like one another. So far so good and sounds great on paper.
But is this enough to enter into a relationship or should there be more and what is that "more"?
Doesn't matter what the families or anybody else thinks. Do **THEY **like each other? If no, then nothing else matters.
I second Spock.
Re: What more could you want in a partner?
Say you have two nice people, decent, normal, not too much drama in their lives.
Compatible education, background, religious values and the families like one another. So far so good and sounds great on paper.
But is this enough to enter into a relationship or should there be more and what is that "more"?
nope that can happen with so many members of the opposite sex when they meet up.
the spices are missing like potential for caring, respect, attraction, whether they get along with each other, etc
Re: What more could you want in a partner?
Sparks are just that. Sparks. They burn bright and fade just as fast. The key areas to highlight are can they have a conversation without being bored? When you are 60 and your kids have run off with whatever laloo khet individual they meet, the sparks don't keep your marriage alive. It is the ability to communicate and understand each other.
Re: What more could you want in a partner?
no butterflies??
Re: What more could you want in a partner?
they should try speaking to each other .. go out on one date .. feelings might develop then ..
Re: What more could you want in a partner?
Soni will you go out on a date with me? :D
Re: What more could you want in a partner?
Ah yes, the elusive sparks that makes the mundane magnificent :)
But aren't the sparks just chemistry or physical attraction, and like CM says, it burns bright in the early days but there's no certainty that it will last the course of the relationship.
And what of the fact that most of our parents and grandparents married with no sparks, yet most managed to spend their lifetime with their spouse. Why are sparks important?
Re: What more could you want in a partner?
What's missing is the want. Do the girl and the guy want each other. Is there chemistry present.
Why? It's easier to become invested in someone with whom you share a natural affinity.
Re: What more could you want in a partner?
Sparks are just that. Sparks. They burn bright and fade just as fas
The man says the truth.......btw........sparks can be produced anytime...all that is required is some *friction *:D
And what of the fact that most of our parents and grandparents married with no sparks, yet most managed to spend their lifetime with their spouse. Why are sparks important?
thats what i have been wondering about too.!!
Re: What more could you want in a partner?
but even with the parents, they did see each other's photos, did meet each other with family around and talked with each other probably to see if there is any potential for a long lasting relationship
Re: What more could you want in a partner?
And what of the fact that most of our parents and grandparents married with no sparks, yet most managed to spend their lifetime with their spouse. Why are sparks important?
Yes, about that...I think it was simply because divorce was never an option. I've seen lots of desi people (in my family too) who spent their lives living in a dysfunctional marriage. That trend is changing now, hence the higher divorce rate.
Re: What more could you want in a partner?
koi mil gya kya? 
Re: What more could you want in a partner?
Sparks are just that. Sparks. They burn bright and fade just as fast. The key areas to highlight are can they have a conversation without being bored? When you are 60 and your kids have run off with whatever laloo khet individual they meet, the sparks don't keep your marriage alive. It is the ability to communicate and understand each other.
If sparks just burn and fade off, the entire internal combustion engine would be a sitting duck. They dont just fade away in a working unit, they continue to spark, even if it is a 1000 mile journey.
Maybe its a poor analogy that they use, but for two people to last a life time together, they need to have an understanding, likeness for each other, and this is what they refer to as sparks.
Re: What more could you want in a partner?
But is this enough to enter into a relationship or should there be more and what is that "more"?
^Size. I hear it matters.
Re: What more could you want in a partner?
Ah yes, the elusive sparks that makes the mundane magnificent :)
But aren't the sparks just chemistry or physical attraction, and like CM says, it burns bright in the early days but there's no certainty that it will last the course of the relationship.
And what of the fact that most of our parents and grandparents married with no sparks, yet most managed to spend their lifetime with their spouse. Why are sparks important?
Physical attraction is important, but sparks encompass more than that. Part of the whole thing is to be with someone who you find interesting, humorous and all. Can we spend the rest of our lives, if we're outgoing social beings with someone whose exactly opposite, but has the matching family background? Maybe our dada jaans and naani jaans who had the whole arranged setup without sparks were okay with all that, but times have changed now. Back then most women in our culture sacrificed and compromised on many fronts, now many of them dont.
Re: What more could you want in a partner?
…
Re: What more could you want in a partner?
I agree to an extent, since I’ve seen dysfunctional up close and personal. But, as for the increasing divorce rate - while the taboo of divorce has diminished as it should have for those who have grounds for needing a divorce, haven’t our expectations for wanting more in our partner also made divorce more acceptable or even the easier course of action?
Just to explain myself better, all else in a relationship being okay, but the if the spark goes out or for some reason the couple just isn’t in love, does it make sense to end a relationship? You have two decent people, but no passion or dare I say intellectual compatibility - should we use that as a basis to end the relationship?
:halo:
Re: What more could you want in a partner?
