You are absolutely right!!
Ma-Thi..pff...they made my life miserable...SIL is really BEIMAAN!! steals my things...has one of the 3 keys of my closet....but I keep my mouth shut...coz my husband will make a big issue of it...and I will be the one who is wrong!!
I told him (when we married last year) that I was missing a ring. She was the one who hold that ring for the last time when were at the parlour for Walima make-up. I said he shouldn't say anything to anyone. Coz I didn't wanted to make "Hungama". but he did.
Whenever I call her she says miserable things to me. Mostly I keep my mouth shut. But she calls her mom right away to cry and say things that I haven't said. I've tried to explain my husband about this. But he dont'want to believe it. Even when we were together (my husband and I) she said stupid things to me. He heard everything. I didn't said anything to her. But she made a very big issue!! Her mom asked me why I hated her so much..But i didn't do anything...My husband also said that..But they were angry at him and said him: Tum sirf apni begum ko sambhalo...u can't do anything for us.... Pfff...
I've started to ignore EVERYTHING!!! I never made issue of anything!! They did!! But I kept thinking about all the things that made my life miserable. Coz also my husband started to blame me for things I never did....pfff...But I ignore everything...I'm deaf..blind...and can't speak!!!
You are absolutely right!!
Ma-Thi..pff...they made my life miserable...SIL is really BEIMAAN!! steals my things...has one of the 3 keys of my closet....but I keep my mouth shut...coz my husband will make a big issue of it...and I will be the one who is wrong!!
I told him (when we married last year) that I was missing a ring. She was the one who hold that ring for the last time when were at the parlour for Walima make-up. I said he shouldn't say anything to anyone. Coz I didn't wanted to make "Hungama". but he did.
Whenever I call her she says miserable things to me. Mostly I keep my mouth shut. But she calls her mom right away to cry and say things that I haven't said. I've tried to explain my husband about this. But he dont'want to believe it. Even when we were together (my husband and I) she said stupid things to me. He heard everything. I didn't said anything to her. But she made a very big issue!! Her mom asked me why I hated her so much..But i didn't do anything...My husband also said that..But they were angry at him and said him: Tum sirf apni begum ko sambhalo...u can't do anything for us.... Pfff...
I've started to ignore EVERYTHING!!! I never made issue of anything!! They did!! But I kept thinking about all the things that made my life miserable. Coz also my husband started to blame me for things I never did....pfff...But I ignore everything...I'm deaf..blind...and can't speak!!!
Iksa - Rule number 1 - DO NOT SAY BAD STUFF ABOUT HIS FAMILY REGULARLY. Just keep quiet and put up with everything they throw at u for a while. Then, when you do say something, your husband will sit up and pay attention to it bcos its an unusual thing u say.
But also, I urge you to see things positively. Perhaps you all started off on the wrong foot, and bcos of bad experiences, now you see the negative in all that they do. Ignore stuff that bothers u, and watch out for positive things in their speech and actions.
Also, PLEASE START BEHAVING FRIENDLY TOWARDS YOUR IN-LAWS - they may not know what has come over u, and may well be cautious of u and think that u r up to something, but after u continue behaving nice to them (despite what they say!) they should realise that u r not bad and return the sentiment.
Also, when your MIL see's that u r a good person, after some time she should stop being so judgemental. Don't complain about any of them to eachother, just model yourself into a peaceful person and I hope they should change their behaviour in response.
Iksa - Rule number 1 - DO NOT SAY BAD STUFF ABOUT HIS FAMILY REGULARLY. Just keep quiet and put up with everything they throw at u for a while. Then, when you do say something, your husband will sit up and pay attention to it bcos its an unusual thing u say.
But also, I urge you to see things positively. Perhaps you all started off on the wrong foot, and bcos of bad experiences, now you see the negative in all that they do. Ignore stuff that bothers u, and watch out for positive things in their speech and actions.
Also, PLEASE START BEHAVING FRIENDLY TOWARDS YOUR IN-LAWS - they may not know what has come over u, and may well be cautious of u and think that u r up to something, but after u continue behaving nice to them (despite what they say!) they should realise that u r not bad and return the sentiment.
Also, when your MIL see's that u r a good person, after some time she should stop being so judgemental. Don't complain about any of them to eachother, just model yourself into a peaceful person and I hope they should change their behaviour in response.
RupayHalwa, Thanks for your advice. I'm still behaving very friendly towards them. Allah will reward me.
If they want to think I'm bad..then ok..I'm bad....I don't bother anymore. I really don't care...I want to live my life.....and don't let them live my life!!!
The way they are behaving towards me...they expect the same from me. But I can't go that low!!
Disturb, I would think twice before indirectly suggesting to someone who is going to a bad time that they should commit suicide.
I have noticed that it's very easy for a pakistani residing person to resort to the suicide option, I wonder why?
Bad time?? Not really coz I don't live with them...not even with my husband!! I've started ignoring everything. If he talks in a negative manner to me..I just say..call me later when u'r in a good mood!! Believe me...it works!!
Iksa u r facing such a terrible situation..If such thing will happen to me then surely i will do suicide and will not face more pain :(
Disturb_Angel,
You could not pick a more fitting nick for yourself. If you can't use aqal for yourself.....then you could at least....kam se kam.....give an aqalmand suggestion to another person.
I totally agree with RupayHalwa. You should think carefully about the advice that you give others. Would you suggest your own sister or friend to commit suicide if they were facing problems? There are other ways to solve a problem without taking away your life.
Seriously, we get on fine… she’s very opinionated and “stuck in her ways” but at her age, she’s seen/experienced a lot more than us, so we really value her opinion on certain matters…
I think sometimes, girls can go into a marriage with the mindset that the MIL is going to be an evil witch…but where do they get these ideas from? Words from their mother? TV? People need to switch of these “saas bahu” indian drams and live in reality !
hmmmmm well i would wana share somthing about my MIL... she is like a real best friend has always taken my side if me and hubby ever got into issues....i would call her and talk for hours..i have been married for 5 years mashallah and now i have a son who is a year old and being the first child it was very hard for me to know whts right and whts wrong MIL took care of everything...and yesterday i was thinking my hubby has an affair and could sleep all night and was crying in MILs lap :) and complaining she explained to me just like my own mother would that nothing is wrong and when she knew that my mind is so negative she made me n hubby sit together this morning and cleared it out which made me so happy to see her like this and seriously i think im am blessed by allah to have elders around me and look after me:)
You could not pick a more fitting nick for yourself. If you can't use aqal for yourself.....then you could at least....kam se kam.....give an aqalmand suggestion to another person.
I totally agree with RupayHalwa. You should think carefully about the advice that you give others. Would you suggest your own sister or friend to commit suicide if they were facing problems? There are other ways to solve a problem without taking away your life.
Everyone is smart enough to know who is giving the right advice.....Suicide...that's a thing that only "WEAK" persons can think or talk about!!
There are worser things in the world...Before changing the world and the people around us..we should change ourselves...
My MIL is very nice lady...My SIL is just jealous...let her be!!
Bad time?? Not really coz I don't live with them...not even with my husband!! I've started ignoring everything. If he talks in a negative manner to me..I just say..call me later when u'r in a good mood!! Believe me...it works!!
Iksa, the next time your SIL creates drama, be the bigger person and stay calm. After she is done with her false over-the-top emotional speech and shedding her alligator tears............calmly tell her "As a new addition to this family, I only want to fit it in, not to be a threat to anyone. I have no desire to cause problems for myself or my marriage or anyone else by instigating arguments with you. I am not trying to steal your brother away from you. As Muslims, all of us should consider that Allah is WATCHING everything we do and say. So, for HIS sake, we should be mindful of our actions and try to be civil."
Who knows? Maybe the simple and basic point of "Allah watching everyone" will motivate your SIL to think twice before she lies about you again in the future. Subtly put the fear of God in her ;)
Everyone is smart enough to know who is giving the right advice.....Suicide...that's a thing that only "WEAK" persons can think or talk about!!
There are worser things in the world...Before changing the world and the people around us..we should change ourselves...
Geo aur Geeno do!
I'm not trying to change anyone, Iksa. There have been situations where people have ignored reasonable advice from the majority and followed impractical and dangerous advice from the minority.
hmmmmm well i would wana share somthing about my MIL... she is like a real best friend has always taken my side if me and hubby ever got into issues....i would call her and talk for hours..i have been married for 5 years mashallah and now i have a son who is a year old and being the first child it was very hard for me to know whts right and whts wrong MIL took care of everything...and yesterday i was thinking my hubby has an affair and could sleep all night and was crying in MILs lap :) and complaining she explained to me just like my own mother would that nothing is wrong and when she knew that my mind is so negative she made me n hubby sit together this morning and cleared it out which made me so happy to see her like this and seriously i think im am blessed by allah to have elders around me and look after me:)
awwww this post should be rewarded with a GS trophy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)
Really not nice of you to use that kind of words here!!!
and really not nice OR smart of you to make such a silly generalization now is it? I'm sorry your own in laws/life is messed up but that doesn't mean, all in laws are like that.
Iksa u r facing such a terrible situation..If such thing will happen to me then surely i will do suicide and will not face more pain :(
and really not nice OR smart of you to make such a silly generalization now is it? I'm sorry your own in laws/life is messed up but that doesn't mean, all in laws are like that.
You are a very very very sick person indeed.
silly generalization?? You can say anything to me you want..But try to choose the right words...
my MIL… she buys me nice things …
