Why do we think that we HAVE to get married by a certain age? Why is it when we get to 30+ we start to think we’ve failed and get depressed because were not married? We can have the best careers the best cars even get our own house/apartment. Yet if were not married were labled as something.
Do you think we have been made to think this from a young age?
I’m also a victim i’ve made my self obsessed with marriage that it turns me sick whenever i think about it now. I cant stand it! I dont even wanna get married. I wudnt care less if i’m 36 and still not married.
The point i’m tryna make is that we cud have the best of everythin but if were not married, people start thinking theres a problem with the girl, and the guy is gay or God knows what else.
I’m no longer gonna think anything about marriage if i’m gonna get married then fine if im not well i’m still gonna be fine.
My sentiments exactly! Am totally with you! Turned 28 last week & If I had a pound for everytime someone asked me not why I was not married but what was wrong with me id be rich! grrrrrrrrr :-) If its in my kismat it will happen if not then so be it :-)
^ Im 20 and i've had questions. Its STUPID! its not even stupid its totally messed my head up. Thinking the only goal in my life is marriage. But its back fired because the thought of marriage makes me sick!
lol try not to let it get to u hun! Ur only 20 u got plenty of time u go get urself an education career & enjoy being young! inshallah marriage will find its way to u x
Dont rush yourself into marriage just for the sake of getting the status of being MARRIED !!!! . Wait wait wait till you find the right person and you are 100% sure that you and him can lead a good married life. Age only matters to non believers we being muslims should not fall for for it as Allah has not defined any EXPIRY DATE for either men or women. AGE issue is cultural .
im going through the same...im 22 rite now...and my family specially my mother is going crazy abt finding a match for me...i feel like marriage is being immposed upon me..im under so much pressure that im loosing all other interestss...its depressingg...
I think marriage is important… and I think its got a huge importance in our culture/religion because it keeps us from going ‘astray’ u know hanky panky thats why many aunties are always like when are you marrying her off? or when are you getting married?
Whatever the reason… Were bound to get married atleast once in our lives.
Personally I think the satisfaction gained from raising a family is greater then doing amazingly great at your job. And once marriage is over, then what?
^
Lol Sara, you can laugh as you are already married :k:
Coming to the main point, well marriage saves you from a lotta things that might be wrong however it does come with problems of its own, khair that not being the point we should not just get married because our religion says so, our society dictates so, but because you want to, a lotta ppl i know got into this bond just for the sake of being married and some got it good and some well lets say they were better off un married. Khair I am an advocate of marriage and that too an early one because your mind is still moulding and once you get into this bond you mould better, however the later you do it you get stubborn with things you do and the way you do and there is less compromise (willingly) in the marriage and on the other hand kids at a later age have a lot of complications as well.
There are a few factors for why women (or rather their parents) are in a rush to get them married earlier. A few that come to mind are that the older you get, the less prospects you have to choose from. This is more likely if you're going the arranged route. Whether you like it or not, the age is going to be one of the things working against you if there are younger prospects for the guy. Then there's also the whole thing about having kids. You'll want to do that when you're still young and have strength, not when you get old. Like kaun, I also think that early marriage is a good thing.
I was like you MixedBeauty when I was 20. I didn't understand the hype associated with rushing into marriage. I had seen my siblings misreable in marriage and always used to wonder what was the good in it.
But then, things changed. I noticed in our community that alot of girls started putting their career first before they decided to marry. Whilst this worked well in the beginning, when they reached their career goals they realised that their life revolved around 9:00 - 5:00 or commuting or pleasing the boss and they soon got bored of their careers. Sure, they made good money but then they spent on things that gave them momentary pleasure like shoes or make-up. Deep down though, they were still unsatisfied and longing for companionship.
Then I noticed other girls who delayed marriage because they had seen how unsatisfactory arranged marriages were. Alot of girls would divorce once marrying from "back home" and they didn't want to face that same prospect. Another problem was finding a suitable guy because most of the time alot of guys go back to Pakistan and marry the homely type of girl.
As for me, although I had seen my siblings upset, I realised they were so much in love with their other half. Sure they argued, couldnt finish their careers, had kids early but when asked whether they would change anything they said "not for anything in the world".
I think it is perfectly right to marry a person that YOU are comfortable with but delaying it for the sake of a career really doesn't do anyone favours. Like someone said before me, you end up getting more set in your ways and before you know your past your "sell-by date" and your body shuts down in terms of having kids. I know of three such girls who are now 40 and got the best rishtas a person could have but kept turning it down to focus on "career" or saying that the guy had momentous "faults".
I think MixedBeauty, your more annoyed that maybe people here on GS talk so much about weddings and maybe you feel left out amongst your peers. I don't know! but don't put off marriage just because your parents are getting worried. It's natural for them to worry and they are only thinking about what's best for you.
Whatever happens, I wish you the best of luck. InshAllah, everything will be fine :)
