My parents dont say anything directly to me anymore. However wat annoys me is that i sumtimes think to myself at night right i'm 20. I've got what 2-4 years left of being with my family. Being free and doing what i like when i like etc.
I know when i hit that age people are not gonna let me jus relax. This is the thing i'm talking about women have to get married to have kids. And all men doesnt matter if their 30-40 will end up with a 22-25 year old Hell even a 18 year old.
Yet us women get put on the shelf just because we've turned 30 or something. Helloo? you can still have a kid at bloody 30. I'm living proof. My mum was 30 when she had me.
I jus wish our culture would jus relax and let GIRLS especially jus chill. Let them be happy in their home let them do what they want. let them go college/uni and finish their education go into their career for 2-3 years.
As soon as a girl finishes her education str8 away shes married. wth was the point going thru tht many years of uni then??
It jus gets to me tht a girl cant even get to 18 without people after her.
marriage...i have analysed this topic for a while now on GS n outside n have come to the following conclusion..
1.it should be illegal for gurls/guys to marry before 25
2.IF exception has to be made n they want to marry they have to give an official exam and only if the pass with 90/100 they can go ahead n get married.
Exams consist of various topics like management of finances,management of inlaws and family,Men 101 and women 101 to name a few.
3.Some fishing person for godsake tell these kids who dream about their marriages since 18 that its no magic wand that will eliminate ur problems forever u bubble heads or its this kool xciting thing n new chapter of ur life so yayyyy lets get married..if u feel like tht thn go hibernate n make sure u dont wake up bfr 10yrs!
5.Marriage is NOT and let me repeat the NOT again for all the Pakistani's out there...marriage is NOT about sherwani's and lehangas tikkas and dahehj.Go google the meaning if u need to!
6.TALK to the person u r going to spend the rest of ur life with and discuss from what brand chadi he/she wears till the fact that who will cook at home or whether u will or will not live with inlaws decide it BEFORE getting married.
7.for all the foolish gurls around the world this is for u--dont complain on forums that ur MIL or Fil or Bil does blah blah blah u have a mouth and brain of ur own so dunt complain these people wont know ur marriage n ur situations even if u write a page describing cuz they cant write anything ur mind cant think.Once or twice is fine but for god sake every time ur MIl asks u to make roti or doesnt give compliments on what u wear over the phone dont write a post in life1 about it..USE UR OWN BRAINS..IF U DONT HAVE WATCH STAR PLUS!
8.if u going through an unhappy marriage or in a rutt please refrain from cheating or being disloyal on net/in person and blaming on what u going through,situations or circumstances n whatevr rong u did just happened.Constantly talk to u partner..its marriage not 'just' a relationship..be careful!
9.nothing is more important in a marriage than u & ur life partner.Dont let MIL BIL FIL KIL HIL SIL blah blah distract u from the person u got married to.So gurls quit nagging ur husband n eating his ear complaining everynight about ur khandaan issues and guys once in a while ur wife says something switch off GEO News and Listen...she waited all day to talk to u! both sides be more tolerable and sensitive towards each other!
10.You get one shot in life..JUST ONE..dunt ruin it with things ull regret..live it in a way that would give u n everyone around u happiness and reward in the afterlife too..we all are answerable!
These are the basics people..we have forgotten our basics..if u are not ready for marriage mentally and with the above 10points than dunt go for it cuz u have a guy n ur xcited to live wid him n wear good clothes n having pictures taken..than u r in for a huge shock!
marriage...i have analysed this topic for a while now on GS n outside n have come to the following conclusion..
1.it should be illegal for gurls/guys to marry before 25
2.IF exception has to be made n they want to marry they have to give an official exam and only if the pass with 90/100 they can go ahead n get married.
Exams consist of various topics like management of finances,management of inlaws and family,Men 101 and women 101 to name a few.
3.Some fishing person for godsake tell these kids who dream about their marriages since 18 that its no magic wand that will eliminate ur problems forever u bubble heads or its this kool xciting thing n new chapter of ur life so yayyyy lets get married..if u feel like tht thn go hibernate n make sure u dont wake up bfr 10yrs!
5.Marriage is NOT and let me repeat the NOT again for all the Pakistani's out there...marriage is NOT about sherwani's and lehangas tikkas and dahehj.Go google the meaning if u need to!
6.TALK to the person u r going to spend the rest of ur life with and discuss from what brand chadi he/she wears till the fact that who will cook at home or whether u will or will not live with inlaws decide it BEFORE getting married.
7.for all the foolish gurls around the world this is for u--dont complain on forums that ur MIL or Fil or Bil does blah blah blah u have a mouth and brain of ur own so dunt complain these people wont know ur marriage n ur situations even if u write a page describing cuz they cant write anything ur mind cant think.Once or twice is fine but for god sake every time ur MIl asks u to make roti or doesnt give compliments on what u wear over the phone dont write a post in life1 about it..USE UR OWN BRAINS..IF U DONT HAVE WATCH STAR PLUS!
8.if u going through an unhappy marriage or in a rutt please refrain from cheating or being disloyal on net/in person and blaming on what u going through,situations or circumstances n whatevr rong u did just happened.Constantly talk to u partner..its marriage not 'just' a relationship..be careful!
9.nothing is more important in a marriage than u & ur life partner.Dont let MIL BIL FIL KIL HIL SIL blah blah distract u from the person u got married to.So gurls quit nagging ur husband n eating his ear complaining everynight about ur khandaan issues and guys once in a while ur wife says something switch off GEO News and Listen...she waited all day to talk to u! both sides be more tolerable and sensitive towards each other!
10.You get one shot in life..JUST ONE..dunt ruin it with things ull regret..live it in a way that would give u n everyone around u happiness and reward in the afterlife too..we all are answerable!
These are the basics people..we have forgotten our basics..if u are not ready for marriage mentally and with the above 10points than dunt go for it cuz u have a guy n ur xcited to live wid him n wear good clothes n having pictures taken..than u r in for a huge shock!
My parents dont say anything directly to me anymore. However wat annoys me is that i sumtimes think to myself at night right i'm 20. I've got what 2-4 years left of being with my family. Being free and doing what i like when i like etc.
I know when i hit that age people are not gonna let me jus relax. This is the thing i'm talking about women have to get married to have kids. And all men doesnt matter if their 30-40 will end up with a 22-25 year old Hell even a 18 year old.
Yet us women get put on the shelf just because we've turned 30 or something. Helloo? you can still have a kid at bloody 30. I'm living proof. My mum was 30 when she had me.
I jus wish our culture would jus relax and let GIRLS especially jus chill. Let them be happy in their home let them do what they want. let them go college/uni and finish their education go into their career for 2-3 years.
As soon as a girl finishes her education str8 away shes married. wth was the point going thru tht many years of uni then??
It jus gets to me tht a girl cant even get to 18 without people after her.
Please! 18 to me is still a kid man.
You knw i think things are starting to change a lil... well maybe just where i live cos i can honestly say that i can only remember 2 weddings that ive been to where the brides have been young (18). All the other weddings ive ever been to the brides have been at least 23+ and have either just about finished their education or have finished and have been working for a year or two. even a few of my friends that have really strict conservative parents are finishing uni and finding jobs before they think of marriage so i think in that respect things are changing. infact with one of them her dad even said to her not to bother thinking of marriage until she finishes up uni and this is coming from a family where a generation back she would have got married off after college for sure. ppl are accepting that women want to do more than just turn 18 and be married off and realising the importance of a woman gaining education first and settling into a career so she can at least support herself.
You knw i think things are starting to change a lil... well maybe just where i live cos i can honestly say that i can only remember 2 weddings that ive been to where the brides have been young (18). All the other weddings ive ever been to the brides have been at least 23+ and have either just about finished their education or have finished and have been working for a year or two. even a few of my friends that have really strict conservative parents are finishing uni and finding jobs before they think of marriage so i think in that respect things are changing. infact with one of them her dad even said to her not to bother thinking of marriage until she finishes up uni and this is coming from a family where a generation back she would have got married off after college for sure. ppl are accepting that women want to do more than just turn 18 and be married off and realising the importance of a woman gaining education first and settling into a career so she can at least support herself.
This is exactly the problem...it dosnt matter if ur 18 or 25 to be married what is important is if she/he are MATURE enough. You can have a Phd in Psychology but if ur mental status is of a person who loses anger n hits his wife than he needs to sort out his "issues" bfr getting married..hes simply not fit for it!
Pakistani's think bus meri beti ne to bhaiya BBA karliya blah blah mein aab shes 24 iski shadi karado..yaar aap yeh to dekho uske pass itna deemag hai ke woh shadi sambhal sakeygi ke uske upar ka mala khali hai..n seriously my total frustration to those parents who say ke jab responsibility ayegi to khud seekh jayegi..in other words yeh beti meri musibat thi aaj se apki huwi..mubarak ho...for god sake parents apni betiyoon ko prepare karke bhejo ya na bhejo!
take an example of disrturb_angle shes is stuck in tht situation of her own mistake n immaturity she knew the guy for 6yrs n now crying n posting saying her MIL makes her work i mean COME ON PEOPLE...seriously? i mean HOW DID YOUR PARENTS NOT KNOW THAT YOU AREN'T READY FOR MARRIAGE? HOW DID U THINK LIFE WOULD BE AFTER MARRIAGE ITS NO FAIRY TALE?HOW THE HELL DINT YOU KNOW HE WOULD MAKE U STAY IN PAK WHILE HE IS IN DUBAI? H.O.W???
seriously has nothing to do with age.Practicality,maturity,adaptability and flexibility are just a few of the keywords to marriage!!!
err jus bcoz i have a boyfriend doesnt mean i wanna get bloody married!! I chill with him, Hes my best friend!
and some girls prefer to get married to their boyfriend cum best friends and then "chill" with them, its all relative. i am guessing the parents also prefer this scenario than the former one thus the pressure.
This is exactly the problem...it dosnt matter if ur 18 or 25 to be married what is important is if she/he are MATURE enough. You can have a Phd in Psychology but if ur mental status is of a person who loses anger n hits his wife than he needs to sort out his "issues" bfr getting married..hes simply not fit for it!
Pakistani's think bus meri beti ne to bhaiya BBA karliya blah blah mein aab shes 24 iski shadi karado..yaar aap yeh to dekho uske pass itna deemag hai ke woh shadi sambhal sakeygi ke uske upar ka mala khali hai..n seriously my total frustration to those parents who say ke jab responsibility ayegi to khud seekh jayegi..in other words yeh beti meri musibat thi aaj se apki huwi..mubarak ho...for god sake parents apni betiyoon ko prepare karke bhejo ya na bhejo!
take an example of disrturb_angle shes is stuck in tht situation of her own mistake n immaturity she knew the guy for 6yrs n now crying n posting saying her MIL makes her work i mean COME ON PEOPLE...seriously? i mean HOW DID YOUR PARENTS NOT KNOW THAT YOU AREN'T READY FOR MARRIAGE? HOW DID U THINK LIFE WOULD BE AFTER MARRIAGE ITS NO FAIRY TALE?HOW THE HELL DINT YOU KNOW HE WOULD MAKE U STAY IN PAK WHILE HE IS IN DUBAI? H.O.W???
seriously has nothing to do with age.Practicality,maturity,adaptability and flexibility are just a few of the keywords to marriage!!!
(no offense to disturb_angle)
yh i agree with u there that obviously the person has to be mature enough to get married and be able to handle the pressures of marriage but in my eyes its good to see that atleast some progress is being made somewhere. girls here are not being talked into marriage at such a young age anymore, instead they are being allowed to develop first and do their own thing
yh i agree with u there that obviously the person has to be mature enough to get married and be able to handle the pressures of marriage but in my eyes its good to see that atleast some progress is being made somewhere. girls here are not being talked into marriage at such a young age anymore, instead they are being allowed to develop first and do their own thing
well maturity isnt very obious these days lipstick!
gurls/guys are taking longer to get mature n the parents are getting them off earlier n thts when problems arise!
Its good to get these different views. Some of you agree that people should give us woman a break. Some of you think when you get married you get mature.
our culture and religion put a lot of emphasis on marriage, it's like the final destination in life-- to start a family of your own.
some girls want to dedicate time to working while there are women out there who would not being being a homemaker at all. to each his own
but women shouldn't be pressured into an early marriage against will, or get married if not mature enough to handle the nitty gritty situations
Our religion puts way more emphasis on namaz 5times a day n other important issues but who ever prays 5times? conveniently marriage seems to be the biggest issue...i feel religion has became a source of justifying...theres no age limit given in our religion (atleast i dont think) as to when a girl should get married so why early? or why late? dosnt matter if u r 18 or 25 seriously what matters is ur up for it n u hav done all ur homework before marriage!
If a gurl thinks she can till the last day of her marriage live like a princess in her house,wake up late or hasnt even seen where the kitchen is in the house n gets married weather shes 18 or 28 shes in for some trouble!!!!
muhtarma.