sorry to hear about your loss, thats a really great perspective you have as well.
If you don't mind me asking, what do you think kept them together all those years before the divorce even though they were unhappy and secondly what finally made them get the divorce? I mean was there a certain point they couldn't take being miserable anymore or was it related to any specific incident that pushed them into that final direction?
1) at that time, in our culture/religion/community D-I-V-O-R-C-E was a very negative, very unheard of situation.
2) children....parents will do anything to for their kids. My parents waited it out for us.
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Thank you for candid responses. That's great that u had a strong support system and your nAniyal was there for you. Lots of parents stay together because divorce is not an option unless one spouse is unfaithful or abusive. In my own lifetime I have seen along discord between my own parents and aunts and uncle but accepted as a part I marriage. Growing up the disagreements were sometimes so bad between my parents that i wished they would be apart to stop the fighting. It was mostly about raising kids, rishtas, how to spend money....dad was and is a dreamer and mom is very practical but curt. my father wanted somebody who would nod at his impractical ideas. He was always impressed by ther kids and Ammi wasn't doing enoug. Each has their share of flaws. My own marriage is far from perfect. We are both flawed in it own ways. Sometimes one does wonder if you are better off by yourself. However, if you are financial dependent and have kids many women decide to stay.
Re: what is the longest marriage that u know to end in divorce
a relative who divorced his wife after like 40+ years at that time some of their grandchildren were even married . The guy still thought himself to be the owner of his wife even after giving her talaaq but she was a free bird and never really bothered then about what he wanted. The guy is dead now and that old lady is living alone despite having 8 kids and can not even properly see. Some people's lives are so tragic :(
Re: what is the longest marriage that u know to end in divorce
I’ve seen 2 :hinna:
One of my cousin divorced her wife after 12 years due to fights on MIL & FIL issues but i think she was right and the other one was due to having no kids after 9 years together :hinna: …
Re: what is the longest marriage that u know to end in divorce
I hope my wife never leaves me ... :(
We are very different people ... but I will not utter the T word ... if she wants out at any time ... then I'll get the solicitors and witnesses together redraft the nikkah nama giving her permission to divorce me ... but I will not utter that word ... inshaAllah !!!
Among my relatives, one case was 12 years and another was past 25 years, as the couple had adult kids and grandkids.
What was the reason after 25 years an d grandkids? We know of a few similar cases in our circle but I am trying make sense out of it. Know/heard of somebody who divorced his wife of 35 years (after kids were professionally educated and married) so he could marry a friend of his daughters. Can ppl be so heartless? They were known to the perfect couple with and raised some really great children. what goes thru people's mind to do this? Actually I am scared if either one of this will do this? What situation leads someone to take this step and what impact does it have on their families? Thank you so much khattichic for sharing your story.
Re: what is the longest marriage that u know to end in divorce
What was the reason after 25 years an d grandkids? We know of a few similar cases in our circle but I am trying make sense out of it. Know/heard of somebody who divorced his wife of 35 years (after kids were professionally educated and married) so he could marry a friend of his daughters. Can ppl be so heartless? They were known to the perfect couple with and raised some really great children. what goes thru people's mind to do this? Actually I am scared if either one of this will do this? What situation leads someone to take this step and what impact does it have on their families? Thank you so much khattichic for sharing your story.
Well, I cant pin point the reason in this matter. The people are friends of my grandparents and from same place as us in Pakistan, plus the divorce happened when I was just a kid. I have however heard rumors, but I really dont feel comfortable sharing them in public.
My parents know another family, where the guy has remarried about 9 times (and at no point has he had two wives at the same time) and also has kids with his multiple wives. I dont know whether to cry or laugh :(
Re: what is the longest marriage that u know to end in divorce
have any of the couples after getting a divorce gotten back together. divorce is such a life changing event that i'm pretty sure some men and women do realize their flaws or do try to better themselves and if there is/was still a connection with that ex.....has there been a situation where they have a better relationship after divorce?
i'm not being negative about marriage but why is solitude or being single such a bad thing. i think when we get pally with our solitude that's when we truly understand ourselves what we need to change in ourselves to make us better people, so many times i see people rush into a relationship or marriage just to escape being alone or single and then regret making rash decisions on such a huge thing like marriage.
