Most families where the wife works - they do not have 2-3 cars with a 5 bedroom house.
It varies. My mom works now because she is able to take that money and pay for health insurance, which saves my dad a huge load. It gives her some extra pocket money, and when he passes away, it gives her something to rely on.
I’ve now seen a handful of situations where the woman was dependent on her husband and is now royally screwed as an elderly lady after the death of her husband. Depending on your citizenship status, you may or may not get social security, which is such a pittance anyway. One of these ladies had 2 sons who were of no good use - involved in awaara gardi and such nonsense - and so she had to return to Pakistan and be dependent on her brother. Where she goes once her brother dies, who knows. And in her youth, she was a stay at home flying high society on her husband’s money. Another lady right now is facing some serious decisions, because her husband is in the hospital on a ventilator now, and she too is in her old age, no job experience, a degree gotten ages ago from Pakistan which means nothing here. Her kids don’t have jobs yet, so what is going to happen, I don’t know. Some extended family of the husband’s will have to take her in.
These questions of finance are all and well, and of course a mom AND dad should both be there for the kids. But CP, you have NO CLUE how much money it takes to run a basic household. Just do the calculations based on mortgage payments, food costs, bill costs, costs of school supplies for kids, costs of a car, costs of gas, etc, and it all adds up. Most families are unable to save for a rainy day. So if she works when her kids are older and in school, big deal. You save being in those nasty positions when you are old.