Re: What is married life like..? without any sugar coating.
That's exactly how I feel about the person I am about to marry:-). You should try googling *TwinFlame *(I haven't searched much but it was an interesting concept).
I love the way he looks at me. I wish I could capture it and keep it with me all the time just on days when I feel crappy. It's like all in the world is wonderful. Although it feels like what is described as the twinflame concept. It's so freaky but I hope i'm not being taken for a ride. I'm staying practical and not seeing him anymore just to keep a shield up and protecting myself from any playa\deception\screwing over the good desi girl stuff. I won't let myself believe in things that would keep me away from practicality. He's not my subculture, not my language, and then add in the all important age difference plus a few other things, i am in for heartbreak when he marries a girl of his parents' choice from the old country which is the usual path taken by desi american men most of the time.
I just needed to see all the cons in the written word.... I'll stay postive but practical. Good luck to you and I'm so happy you found someone that you connect with at that level. It probably feels like heaven being with him. That concept makes a relationship like this beautiful.
Re: What is married life like..? without any sugar coating.
Marriage can be like the one , OP described yes, or be a good partnership, yes you have to work on it. But luck plays a large part too. Most women think that they will be loving, caring, treat his parents like her own, etc etc but despite that sometimes men just don't card and do not reciprocate,
it's the same concept as when you go to work, you can be as pleasant and hard working as can be and still be unhappy.
But then some people don't even try as hard and have a Wonderful marriage.
Re: What is married life like..? without any sugar coating.
You have to be realistic. Going into marriage, all I could think of were the good things, mainly getting to live with and start my life with my husband that I loved dearly (love marriage).
But living with inlaws and all the hassle that comes with it has been more challenging than I could have imagined. The first year was tough and I'm still adjusting, and I must admit during the rough moments I questioned my decision to marry him. But when it was just him and I we were just MashaAllah perfect. It was everyone's else's involvement that caused all the problems.
So yes, marriage is a million times harder than I imagined because just loving him is not enough to get through the rough patches. It takes work each and every single day. He's so worth it and I love waking up to him each morning, but like Theorist said, I've had to learn to let go of a LOT of things because I just can't fight these battles anymore and I've gotta look out for my own sanity.
Re: What is married life like..? without any sugar coating.
its a mixed bag. some days its plain weird ... unnatural, taxing, exhausting. others ... its kind of okay. still others its fun, relaxing, re-assuring, loving, fills you up with a sense of contentment. haven't formed a final opinion yet. a lot depends on the partner you end up with.
another angle these days, however, is a certain lack of the feeling of permanency, as in ... little things tend to make the partners think about breaking up, or actually breaking up. too many material & emotional distractions that stretch the relationship ... career, money, family, affairs ...
Re: What is married life like..? without any sugar coating.
You find out how good you have it when your spouse is away for a prolonged period. You are lost. Then you panic thinking of the day one of you will leave the other alone. Forever.
Re: What is married life like..? without any sugar coating.
when talking, you refer to yourself in 3rd person, marriage is not for you. marriage can be a gamble but payout can be huge, so its worth taking the risk.
Re: What is married life like..? without any sugar coating.
You find out how good you have it when your spouse is away for a prolonged period. You are lost. Then you panic thinking of the day one of you will leave the other alone. Forever.
Re: What is married life like..? without any sugar coating.
to be fair, i don't think so anyone married life is a fairytale.
their are up & downs, sometime you just want to love your spouse so much and then someday you just want to smash you head into wall.
its something between it.
its been three years for us and we both want it to be three centuries.
Re: What is married life like..? without any sugar coating.
4:40am - Frist alaram on clock goes off (snoozed)
4:50am - Second alaram on clock goes off (snoozed)
4:55am - Third and final alaram goes off begum also screams with that "arrray uth jaeen.....apney head phone main lagaya karen alaram sarey ghar ko keyun utha rahey hain"
5:40am - Leaves for work
7:00-4:00 - work, work work and brag about how *everything is awesome *
6:00pm reach home kids runs towards door and hugs you ...breaking your bones but you smile ...and feel energized and then begum drops the bomb "aaj khana nahi pakaya MOOD nahi tha. Can you get pizza?" (really, you left me with no choice but still interrogative sentence ). You look towards her faking ghussa ...she smiles and says "Allah plz??" and you give in
7:00 family eats dinner. Kids tell about how their day was in all that begum interrupts in b/w telling them "enough talking. eat dinner. he is my husband too, i have to share my day stories with him"
7:45pm baba review kids homework with kids
8:45pm read stories to little princess while prince reads his own
9:30pm catch up with begum...tu mujhey suna main tujhey sunaoon apni prem kahani....
10:30ish zzzZZZZzzzzz
REPEAT 5 days a week....and you can imagine married life
PS: but hey, everything is awesome, everything is cool!
Re: What is married life like..? without any sugar coating.
4:40am - Frist alaram on clock goes off (snoozed)
4:50am - Second alaram on clock goes off (snoozed)
4:55am - Third and final alaram goes off begum also screams with that "arrray uth jaeen.....apney head phone main lagaya karen alaram sarey ghar ko keyun utha rahey hain"
5:40am - Leaves for work
7:00-4:00 - work, work work and brag about how *everything is awesome *
6:00pm reach home kids runs towards door and hugs you ...breaking your bones but you smile ...and feel energized and then begum drops the bomb "aaj khana nahi pakaya MOOD nahi tha. Can you get pizza?" (really, you left me with no choice but still interrogative sentence ). You look towards her faking ghussa ...she smiles and says "Allah plz??" and you give in
7:00 family eats dinner. Kids tell about how their day was in all that begum interrupts in b/w telling them "enough talking. eat dinner. he is my husband too, i have to share my day stories with him"
7:45pm baba review kids homework with kids
8:45pm read stories to little princess while prince reads his own
9:30pm catch up with begum...tu mujhey suna main tujhey sunaoon apni prem kahani....
10:30ish zzzZZZZzzzzz
REPEAT 5 days a week....and you can imagine married life
PS: but hey, everything is awesome, everything is cool!
What happens between 9:30pm and 10:30pm? That's very important too right? And you still got that. Married people can't think that every marriage is as nice as theirs. Not every couple gels well like this. The couple might not click and might be worlds apart even if they are the same subculture, language, religion. We're talking life long partner here. Something strong has to be there to keep that glue sticky and keep the bond strong.
Re: What is married life like..? without any sugar coating.
What happens between 9:30pm and 10:30pm? That's very important too right? And you still got that. Married people can't think that every marriage is as nice as theirs. Not every couple gels well like this. The couple might not click and might be worlds apart even if they are the same subculture, language, religion. We're talking life long partner here. Something strong has to be there to keep that glue sticky and keep the bond strong.
Of course its not always easy but once u have decided that u WANT this relationship things become a bit easy. You have to be sure abt that to start with.
Re: What is married life like..? without any sugar coating.
4:40am - Frist alaram on clock goes off (snoozed)
4:50am - Second alaram on clock goes off (snoozed)
4:55am - Third and final alaram goes off begum also screams with that "arrray uth jaeen.....apney head phone main lagaya karen alaram sarey ghar ko keyun utha rahey hain"
5:40am - Leaves for work
7:00-4:00 - work, work work and brag about how *everything is awesome *
6:00pm reach home kids runs towards door and hugs you ...breaking your bones but you smile ...and feel energized and then begum drops the bomb "aaj khana nahi pakaya MOOD nahi tha. Can you get pizza?" (really, you left me with no choice but still interrogative sentence ). You look towards her faking ghussa ...she smiles and says "Allah plz??" and you give in
7:00 family eats dinner. Kids tell about how their day was in all that begum interrupts in b/w telling them "enough talking. eat dinner. he is my husband too, i have to share my day stories with him"
7:45pm baba review kids homework with kids
8:45pm read stories to little princess while prince reads his own
9:30pm catch up with begum...tu mujhey suna main tujhey sunaoon apni prem kahani....
10:30ish zzzZZZZzzzzz
REPEAT 5 days a week....and you can imagine married life
PS: but hey, everything is awesome, everything is cool!
Re: What is married life like..? without any sugar coating.
4:40am - Frist alaram on clock goes off (snoozed)
4:50am - Second alaram on clock goes off (snoozed)
4:55am - Third and final alaram goes off begum also screams with that "arrray uth jaeen.....apney head phone main lagaya karen alaram sarey ghar ko keyun utha rahey hain"
5:40am - Leaves for work
7:00-4:00 - work, work work and brag about how *everything is awesome *
6:00pm reach home kids runs towards door and hugs you ...breaking your bones but you smile ...and feel energized and then begum drops the bomb "aaj khana nahi pakaya MOOD nahi tha. Can you get pizza?" (really, you left me with no choice but still interrogative sentence ). You look towards her faking ghussa ...she smiles and says "Allah plz??" and you give in
7:00 family eats dinner. Kids tell about how their day was in all that begum interrupts in b/w telling them "enough talking. eat dinner. he is my husband too, i have to share my day stories with him"
7:45pm baba review kids homework with kids
8:45pm read stories to little princess while prince reads his own
9:30pm catch up with begum...tu mujhey suna main tujhey sunaoon apni prem kahani....
10:30ish zzzZZZZzzzzz
REPEAT 5 days a week....and you can imagine married life
PS: but hey, everything is awesome, everything is cool!
Re: What is married life like..? without any sugar coating.
I just posted 5 days schedule because I did not want to scare the kid away by posting my SAT & SUN schedule.
PS: Posting this while taking after putting in cloths in laundry during a break from vacuuming the floor because I spilled beans on floor while cooking dinner for the family that they will eat after I bring them home from mall.
after putting in cloths in laundry during a break from vacuuming the floor because I spilled beans on floor while cooking dinner for the family that they will eat after I bring them home from mall.