I would also like to add…just because you can follow logic and state the facts doesn’t make one “right..” you’re young and at this age this is what you know. But there is wisdom in knowing that being right doesn’t mean you’ll win the prize. I mean whats the point in being right if you don’t help anyone out..and anger people in the process.
I would like to quote an old Dale Carnegie quote “when dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but creatures of emotion.”
Here are my 2 cents. I say find some other way to make money. When you’re talking to strangers of the opposite gender for several hours, emotional attachments can take place either from the other person’s end…and potentially from your end as well. We all like to confidently believe that we won’t “lose control” of our emotions and that we’ll stay grounded…but no human is an angel.
What guarantee do you have that some guy who is “chatting” with you and gets into the habit of chatting with you…is not already married or in a committed relationship? And the fazool time that he’s spending chatting away with you…is time that he should be spending with his wife, his kids, his job, and other important things. In such a situation the guy would be more at fault…but you’re a part of that faulty or wrong equation…and that’s something that personally makes me uneasy.
Now about the “haram” issue. Free mingling with the opposite gender is not encouraged in Islam and we all know that…irrespective of whether we follow it or otherwise. Now there is something such as necessary mingling. For example, your job might necessitate that you have to deal with male coworkers and clients. Or when you are out and about shopping, going to the doctor, etc etc…you have to interact with the opposite gender. BUT…I personally don’t see this “chat show” idea as a necessary thing. It’s not like it is the ONLY job or the ONLY way for you to make extra money. There are other ways.
Yes, Desis watch movies and music videos where they see actresses frolicking about on screen. And yes, we look at pictures of female models in magazines. There’s no denying any of this. However, at the same time…while we engage in such viewing…we also (as a culture) frown upon women in these professions. Just think about it, OP. When people within the Desi community describe your job as “She chats with men to make money”…in your head…does not that give off a negative connotation? Especially among the elders.
Your husband does not feel 100% comfortable with this, so I feel it’s better to avoid it altogether and focus your energies elsewhere. Why do you want to risk upsetting him at a later point and possible straining your marriage?
Lastly, given the tension that you’re facing with your parents and siblings…I think that something like this could potentially make things worse.
I acknowledge that humans are mostly led by emotions and do not want people like me to tell them anything because I do not do it in a way that is “nice” and is instead straightforward. Heck, I didn’t even have anything inflammatory in my first few posts but I knew that since many people consider religion an integral part of their identity I would get some backlash. Not going to lie, my end goal with the people who took offense to my statements was not to educate them because I know they are well grounded into their beliefs.
Putting “religion” aside…there are things that even liberal non-religious goray will find inappropriate and that are frowned upon or in poor test. Anyone who doesn’t think so or thinks that being progressive means total acceptance of every single thing is in denial.
There is a segment found in abundance in Pakistan, particularly in Punjab that doesn’t believe in Prophet SAW as last prophet and Quran as last and complete book by Allah.
I would not go in details as this is not what OP asked but let me FIX it for you once for all. Anyone can share his/her opinion as long as he/she is not insulting others.. The line is crossed when someone starts throwing filth on others in the name of free speech. Free speech does not give you the right to insult others , be it you, me , donald trupmph or any Prophet…
Also on this forum we would not let anyone mention the name “Muhammad” in a ridiculous manner as majority of People here are muslims. You wanna exercise your free speech right ? Go do it somewhere else as we do not buy this concept at all..
Would it awesome to live in a world where no one offended anyone else? Heck yeah! However, that is not possible because in the real world people hold a vast array of different views. The problem with restricting speech is that efforts to make it happen can quickly become a tool to silence critics and oppress minorities (Paraphrasing something President Obama said over here).
Pakistan is great example of how the blasphemy law is used to oppress minorities. Here’s an article from dawn, a Pakistani English news daily, summarizing the whole issue.
Summary:
The Asia Bibi blasphemy case involves a Pakistani Christian woman, Aasiya Noreen (born c. 1971; better known as Asia Bibi), convicted of blasphemy by a Pakistani court, receiving a sentence of death by hanging in 2010. In June 2009, Noreen was involved in an argument with a group of Muslim women with whom she had been harvesting berries after the other women grew angry with her for drinking the same water as them. She was subsequently accused of insulting the Islamic prophet Muhammad, a charge she denies, and was arrested and imprisoned. In November 2010, a Sheikhupura judge sentenced her to death. If executed, Noreen would be the first woman in Pakistan to be lawfully killed for blasphemy. [copied this straight from wikipedia]
There you go. Highlighted the important details in the summary. The above case shows how draconian laws against free speech can be abused and used to oppress minorities.
PS: The US does a lot of things wrong, free speech ain’t one of them. I probably would not have to leg to stand on if I was in Canada or Europe because those places place severe restrictions on speech. However, I’m in the US of A so free speech all day baby
@SaeedinPakistan there you go again… making sense. Knock it off will you!
*OP… my bench mark for these things is usually something along the lines of the following:
*
“Would I be comfortable with my son knowing what I did when he grew up?”
“Would I be comfortable detailing my profession/hobby/etc to a group of acquaintances at a cocktail party?”
I know your intentions are pure but these types of things have a way of getting into places we didn’t intend to be in at all… whatever you decide I wish you the best of luck. Doesn’t sound like you’re in an easy position at the moment.
Thank you all for your reply’s they are really much appreciated, I know in my heart this is a bad path to take, I did much research on the app and it’s not all it seems. The pay is low, the number of tokens a person has tricks you to believe they have a lot of money, but in actual fact 210 tokens = 1 US dollar, so where it looks like a person has 12600 tokens in actual fact they only have 60US dollars!!
I was thinking to do live cooking feeds on there, whenever I cook I will put the live on and people can watch me cook, Like a cooking show and if they want to give tokens they can and I won’t accept any calls… I could do it as a hobby if I really want to…
The app is not a webcamming adult site… kids and old people are on there too, but most people use it for chatting up girls and girls use it to earn money by chatting to guys!!!
I think I would be more comfortable with this app if there were more female viewers than males…
Good to know you did your research before potentially getting into it. I’m sure there are all types of different things you can do from home and still make money. Maybe find something you can create and open up an Etsy or something.
I have a habit of researching in depth before doing something… yes I was thinking of maybe starting a online bag and clothes customising site, I use to do this before and people use to buy the stuff…
I think this maternity leave is making me mad… I’m not the type to just sit at home and do nothing…
Good luck to you and your short term goals! While you do this you should definitely press the issue of saving money to your husband. Spending thinking is not good long term.
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I have a habit of researching in depth before doing something… yes I was thinking of maybe starting a online bag and clothes customising site, I use to do this before and people use to buy the stuff…
