What would anyone should do if they do not like his or her spouse after marriage?
Off course a lot of people will say do whatever you can to be together.
But what should be the reason (s ) one has to just walk away?
1- No physical or sexual attraction.
2- No intellectual harmony.
3- No ability to have children.
3a- You have problem.
3b- He or she has problem.
4- Lack of educational or financial harmony. She makes more money and you feel awkward. Like many well qualified engineers married to physician wives these days. Either engineers are laid off or earn very low.
5- Family pressure based on what mother or father says.
6- Make up the scenario. (open ended scenario)
I know scenario 3a will not be a popular reason to walk away.
I did not include cheating on purpose since thats a given in most situations. Any spouse can walk away if proves his or her case.
i guess just try to deal with it. maybe with time some love will appear or if there is a problem it might get better.
Off course thats what everyone feels in the beginning. But as time goes by one may start thinking otherwise.
There are many reasons for eventually giving up.
People leave their spouse at various ttime after marriage.l Days, months or years.
What is the reason you think is common or justifiable. The list I placed is incomplete but point 6 is anyone's choice.
I have seen married couple leaving after 45 years of marriage or so. Never could find out why wait so long? Was this time not enough to know the partner or adjust to his/her ways?
Re: What if you were married to someone who you do not like?
It depends on how motivated you are to make the marriage work. Some people would feel none of the reasons listed qualify as deal breakers while some would feel any of those would work.
Walking away from a marriage really depends on what is important to you. If sex, having natural children, intellectual discussions, financial equality, etc are things you find to be essential...then its really your call.
But...
Cant you just work on intimacy to improve it?
Cant you adopt children?
Cant you try to find some common ground intellectually?
Cant you try to look for some more lucrative opportunities career-wise? Or maybe try to get over your ego?
This is all very subjective and varies from individual to individual. What is really important to you?
If you simply dnt like the person, what abt them do you not like? Do you think it can be overcome? What abt their positive traits? Do they outweigh the negative?
Its easier to walk away in the beginning but harder later.
Its harder to work on things in the beginning but a ton easier/rewarding later.
The Quran Says(sorry i dont remember the exact words) that if a couple can not lead life by living in the limits set by the God (huddod Allah), its better that they should seperate in the best possible way..
therefore it depends on the individuals that whether in any given circumstances they are able to live in Hudood Allah or not..they should decide and if they can not they should part their ways in a respectful manner
one main reason why couples divorce after like 20 or 30 yrs of marrige is because they may have kids, and they wait for kids get settled...and then the split. they dont want to put kids through divorce situation, so they live it out for sake of kids.
most divorce occur because of cheating....but nowadays, people are getting more liberal in their views..and more independent...and now people jump to divorce, evne if they 'dont get along'. this reason, till sevarl years ago, would have been unthinkable..but now its common.
Re: What if you were married to someone who you do not like?
In our famililes (and in most) the situation is "Do or die"... Either keep the relationship or DIE! May it be a boy or girl! And in most of the cases they are living happy lives, alhamdolilah.
In our famililes (and in most) the situation is "Do or die"... Either keep the relationship or DIE! May it be a boy or girl! And in most of the cases they are living happy lives, alhamdolilah.
Do or die is not recommended. It may have some merit since people may want to quickly try to separate or divorce without trying.
Try hard and with sincerity and if it does not work then walk away seems logical. It was the influence of other religion (s) which made people say do or die. Not in Islamic teaching if anyone cares. I do not want to trun this in to religious talk but see below:
' a woman came to the Prophet Muhammad seeking the dissolution of her marriage, she told the Prophet that she did not have any complaints against her husband's character or manners. Her only problem was that she honestly did not like him to the extent of not being able to live with him any longer. The Prophet asked her: "Would you give him his garden (the marriage gift he had given her) back?" she said: "Yes". The Prophet then instructed the man to take back his garden and accept the dissolution of the marriage' (Bukhari).
The woman had no complains against her husband character or manner. The prophet did not ask her to try harder. She just did not like him.
Do or die is not recommended. It may have some merit since people may want to quickly try to separate or divorce without trying.
Try hard and with sincerity and if it does not work then walk away seems logical. It was the influence of other religion (s) which made people say do or die. Not in Islamic teaching if anyone cares. I do not want to trun this in to religious talk but see below:
' a woman came to the Prophet Muhammad seeking the dissolution of her marriage, she told the Prophet that she did not have any complaints against her husband's character or manners. Her only problem was that she honestly did not like him to the extent of not being able to live with him any longer. The Prophet asked her: "Would you give him his garden (the marriage gift he had given her) back?" she said: "Yes". The Prophet then instructed the man to take back his garden and accept the dissolution of the marriage' (Bukhari).
The woman had no complains against her husband character or manner. The prophet did not ask her to try harder. She just did not like him.
I know the religious teachings in the matter... But religion also teaches us that "it should be taken as the LAST option" and we should try at least to settle the things!
I know the religious teachings in the matter... But religion also teaches us that "it should be taken as the LAST option" and we should try at least to settle the things!
Yes. Agreed since logic would dictate such course of action.
But emotional aspect is important in such relationship.
4- Lack of educational or financial harmony. She makes more money and you feel awkward. Like many well qualified engineers married to physician wives these days. Either engineers are laid off or earn very low.
5- Family pressure based on what mother or father says.
6- Make up the scenario. (open ended scenario)
1,3 real problems.
4- my wife is going to stay home!
5-don't give rats behind about any body!
yeah. you can always adopt. i am thinking maybe i will do this as natural child birth is a horriblely painful experience not to mention ruins the total shape of body.
yeah. you can always adopt. i am thinking maybe i will do this as natural child birth is a horriblely painful experience not to mention ruins the total shape of body.
Sound like Australlian actress..nicole kidman analogy:)