What if you spouse ???

Lifestyle Relationships
21

Re: What if you spouse ???

Yeah dude you have weird feelings!

Do you seriously think that your wife is an imbecile and not capable of making any decisions on her own? This is not even about her safety, this is about control over her.

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Re: What if you spouse ???

Reading between the lines, I assume that she does not open up because in all your conversations you probably appear to be "benevolent dictator" or her owner with all the accompanying patronising etc. I would not open up to that either!

The other thing could be that she has seen too many hindi movies or been culturally indoctrinated into the shy desi girl mould that is supposed to be appealing to men.

Are you inherently shy and unable to be social with women on an equal footing? That could be the whole problem. She is your equal. She has a brain that she needs to use for herself. She needs to have a private space mentally all for herself. Never mind how good the marriage; she needs to be herself and not an extention of you or to be owned by you.

And you need to work on yourself first.

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Re: What if you spouse ???

She should inform you of her desire to visit her parents…Even for a day…She should tell you that she is going to her parents’ house whereby you know where she is should you need to contact her…

the Holy Prophet :saw: said, that if a man forbids his wife from visiting her parents, it’s a form of oppression…

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Re: What if you spouse ???

Never ever compare your wife to another person. Your sister is your sister ,and your wife is your wife...TWO DIFFERENT PEOPLE....If you want your wife to do something according to your wish, ask her nicely..communication is the key.

Secondly, you are here, and she is in Pakistan living w/ your parents...i wont comment here..but really, she married you! if you aren't there, she should be free to go wherever (in this case, her parent's house) she wants to go. You can't and shouldn't control someone when you are oceans apart.

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Re: What if you spouse ???

So you expect her to call you once to twice a day? Long distance? Just to ask you if she can travel 5 minutes and visit her parents? When you're not even living with her to begin with?

You know bathrooms are dangerous territories. Maybe she should also call you every time she needs to pee.

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Re: What if you spouse ???

u r acting as a typical husband.mujh se pooch ker jayo,bata ker jayo.ok let me ask you.if u n ur wife live together n ur parents house is few blocks away,would u ask her everytime u visit their house?nope u'll either let her know u r going or that u went there.
if u want her 2 b available everytime u call,set a timing to call or get her a cell phone.

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Re: What if you spouse ???

^ i think it’s more “normal” and “acceptable” if he were to ask her her whereabouts if they were living together. But since they’re not living together, it’s really ridiculous to xpct her to call logn distance every single day just to ask.. If she tells ur parents that “Ammi jee, main ammi ke ghar jaree hoon” woh theek hai…

And like every1 said, dont ever compare her to another woman, if u think that other woman is being such a good wife, then go marry her :rolleyes:

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Re: What if you spouse ???

honestly, i don't think a woman should ask for permission to visit her parents....so what your sis is doing is wrong...so but this is my opinion

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Re: What if you spouse ???

Sara my point was k ager koi mard khud her kaam apni wife se pooch ker nahi kerta tu choti choti baton main wife se aisa kuoon expect kerta hai? well may b ammi jee us waqt ijazat dai daiti hoon aur baad main phone anay pe baitay se gila kerti hoon.
us ki wife achi hai otherwise main na next time kahion jayon aur na he aisay shoher ka phone uthaoon.

30

Re: What if you spouse ???

hey PCG call from Pakistan to the US is cheaper than the local phone calls there.. like a rupee a min so yeah she should call him everytime she steps out of the house.

However, there would be a problem that is the time difference and then nikka kaka would ask if its allowed for a wife to wake her husband up in the middle of the night just to ask if she could visit her parents who live 5 mins away from her house.. so bhai jee choice is yours, make a wise one.

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Re: What if you spouse ???

I let my wife go whenever she wants to go to her parents house..i don,t see a problem with it..

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Re: What if you spouse ???

^ :konfused:

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Re: What if you spouse ???

coco, you are a guy??? i always thought you were a woman :confused:

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Re: What if you spouse ???

In my opinion, a wife should at least bother to ask her in laws or her husband (whoever she is living with) before going anywhere, obviously if the family is strict no one can even bother asking because they'd know the answer would be no, but if the family is fine with it then at least inform them. A wife on the other hand wants to know where her husband is whenever she talks to him, no matter how apart they are living so why can't the husband ask her...its not like he would tell her not to go ever again. and thats i guess mutual understanding between the husband and wife, they should let each other know whats happening in their respective lives even the minor details can effect their relationship.
but in your case @ the thread starter well you actually talked to her before she went to her parents house so i guess there was no way she could have predicted the future at that time and told you she thinks she might go to her parents house or her brother would be there to pick her up so you can't feel bad about something that happened after you talked to her, she might have told you anyways, and if not then its not a big deal since its her parents house. my mami's go to their parents house every other day and stay there the whole yet my mama's dont mind - its part of life guy dil pay nah lo and if you lose your sleep over it then these things can get serious for no reason...

:-) Pahli Muhabbat ko Bhullanay Key Tip :-)
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Re: What if you spouse ???

yea me too.itna sweet naam aur bandy ka:naraz:

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Re: What if you spouse ???

Dear Brother I have said that before that i don’t wanaa stop her to visit her parents … I Just wanted her to b in touch …

Reverse Your Name
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Re: What if you spouse ???

No I don't expect her to call me once or twice a day... whenever she is going to live there for a few days ... i was not talking about those daily visits, She should just let me know before she goes i don't have any problem i will be happy with it, I'll like that way becoz it shows more concern about you.
Try to understand me please

38

Re: What if you spouse ???

I don't want that she should ask me, Just inform me whenever she is going to be there for a few days....

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Re: What if you spouse ???

ok im glad that you asked this question, at least better than yelling at her and saying all kinds of things which are from the "medieval ages" to her.

(I believe...) She does not have to ask your opinion for going to her parents house, esp since they live 5 minutes away. Every minute something is happening, she cannot call u ever 5 minutes when people over there change thier mind like every 10 minutes, its not practical. she can stay there for a month and who cares, your parents do not own her. she is a free woman who can do as she pleases, esp when it comes to this (which is not a big deal at all) she doenst even have to inform you. If ur sister does, that maybe its becaue she has to not because she wants to...ever think about that?

and the reason she is so shy, it appears it because you are newly married and you are living abroad...there was apparently no time for you guys to get to know each other.

if you want to know her every little move and what she is doing...then why are u living overseas? you guys need to get together it appears you guys do not know each other at all...and that is NOT a healthy or happy marriage.this is the year 2007...not 1947!

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Re: What if you spouse ???

well..i sent my message..it makes no difference who it,s from..!