Re: what if the new wife is the same age as their eldest child - 4 wives?? continued.
Age is not that big of an issue here.
I mean its a big difference but still.
What ever ppl say step relation are very complicated. Specially with for boys. Is not easy to see a "women" living in house instead of mom.
In case if she is young , she and father usually lose boy's respect.
Step mom's sister become a doable commodity.
Its a mess. So If a guy has to remarry he should have his kids meet that women first.
She should have all the things , so she could have boy's respect.
As
She should be old enough. If she has kids of her own even better.
Well Saraali one of my relative, after death of his wife who was mother of his 6 kids, got married to 13 years girl. his own son was 13 aswell and once we went to their house they were playing together.the girl wasnt mature enough to be married...............was running around with kids and playing with toys.
a year later she had a son......................she was too young to have kids.
we shouldnt blame her husband, what about her parents...didnt they thought of her future?
You are comparing the society where this took place to the society where you live in. It may sound strange, but morals are different in different societies. It must have been perfectly acceptable and normal to get girls that young get married. In fact, in that society it may have been considered a preferential choice.
And I am not talking about what I consider right and what I consider wrong.
You know what I find so frustrating about this topic? Lack of common sense. Something being allowed is not the green light to do it all the time. Men will take the 4 wives rule and use it for their benefit but what about the circumstances under which 4 wives were allowed??? Do you see those present??? NO.
I think you are wrong about the circumstances and the common sense.
Personally, I believe that Allah has been too lenient with men on this issue. In my infinitely little understanding, I believe this 4 wives issue is not justified. However, if you study Islam, it becomes very clear that men, if THEY think, they can maintain balance, they are allowed to marry. This understanding is not my understanding, but is widely accepted by all the major religious bodies.
It makes me feel sick too, i cannot imagine that the 15 year old he was marrying was happy about it. I also would not imagine that a person like this would wait until the girl is ready to consummate the marriage, but thats a whole different story altogether.
Again, it only makes you feel sick because you are not accustomed to such rituals. In earlier societies, it was normal for girls to get married young and I am sure it wouldn't have made anyone sick at that time. So it is only as sick as your society perceives it to be.
Islamically, it is ok. Hazrat Aisha married the Prophet when she was 9 years old.
Personally, I don't like big age gaps before age 20. We are all speaking theoretically here, but honestly, how many of us would be ok with our sixth grade daughters off to a 40 year old man? And same with men...I wouldn't want my 13 year old son to be marrying a lady my age.