Id like to think its her life her choice.
I'd actually she'd rather work and use her intelligence but if she doesn't or does good for her!
Re: What if he asks you to stay home?
Scenario 1: The woman wants to work and since she works, she contributes to the finances. Great !!! she gets the whole "independance" thing and the guy gets more monetary input ........ good. Obviously, how she takes care of kids and home in addition to her job is her headache she shouldn't expect the guy to stay home and take care of kids or breast-feed them or expect him to order in food every single day.
**Scenario 2: **The girl gives more importance to the family and decides to be a house wife. Personally I consider this a far bigger contribution than earning a couple of bucks. All her expenses, needs, wants and finances are the responsiblity of the guy.
So I guess both situations can work. But there will obviously be problems if the girl expects just to "be independant" and be "career-oriented" (whatever that is) without taking care of the kids or the home at all. So I don't see whats all the fuss about.
Dude- i totally agree with you… he may be a family friend but that doesn’t mean that I think the guy has some MAJOR issues. He didn’t “target girls who were already working” because these were all chics he met while he himself was in university with them (so they weren’t even working yet actually), or girls he met working or at a work event. So yea… he should have been targetting the girls already sitting at home. But honestly… i dont’ know many girls that are doctors and lawyers, etc. that are just sitting at home after their education ended. (Unless they are me and unemployed 
… but that doesn’t count).
This guy just had issues. I just gave his example to show that Reha’s hypo does exist but that there are girls that are more than happy to spend the rest of their life with them.
Yea I agree with you stoppit… in my opinion girls get too caught up in “la la land” and think about how amazing of a guy he is and omg what if I never find a guy like this ever again. They don’t think properly about the situation from the whole. Because you are right… in this situation the two people shouldn’t click at all because their mentalities differ. I think a lot of girls get scared about “what if I never get married and find a guy with these qualities”… even tho there are some qualities about the guy they are not a fan with.
And everyone says people shouln’t be so picky and compromise. So girls take this advice and run with it a little too far.
While other girls genuinely have no problem at with a guy with these sort of request… like the girl that ended up marrying that guy in my post. She seriously did not care. She got educated for own reasons but she too only wanted to be a housewife after marriage like her own mom.
LMAO!!!!!
See, this is what I talk about. Men can't handle the real thing, man. They all SAY they wanna sugar mama, but then they don't know what to do when they get one.
Are we parhi likhi career girls really that scary? Worry not. We are pretty much human as human can be.
it's not the parhi likhi thing... I was positively in love with at least two teachers of mine in high school.
it's not just me. I assure you PCG... ppl are scared of you. we can all smell the fear. maybe if you used some smileys or something that might help the situation...
why would you wanna be someones suga mama/
thats so eew, pukeage for reals
Re: What if he asks you to stay home?
What bothers me is that in two of his relationships, he asked the girl about staying at home AFTER the engagement.
Which means they broke off the engagements, and the girls were possibly talked about behind their backs - ke iss ki engagement toot gayi, so something must be wrong with her. Why didn't he ask these girls before putting engagement rings on their fingers?
Why don't guys put this stuff forward on the table?
I've had one cousin who was doing her residency in OBGYN, and she got married to a guy from a family we had already given one of our girls too. So we were comfortable with them, because their other bahu (our other cousin) had no problem. Granted she was a stay-at-home out of her own choice. So they LOVED her.
Now the OBGYN told them that she is not going to drop her career. She had proposals lined up from docs at her hospital who WANTED her to continue with her career, but she took up with this nutjob instead. He and his family PROMISED they would allow her to continue with the career.
They got married.
6 months later, when she was pregnant, they told her to drop the job. They used her unborn child as manipulation - that if she didn't do what they said, they would just kidnap the child and keep the child.
Mind you, boy's family is VERY educated, and has no village background whatsoever. For generations, they have been wealthy merchants.
NO excuse for this behavior.
Re: What if he asks you to stay home?
PCG - He asked before and they said yes without thinking about it properly to begin with. Like PunjabiRose said, most girls get carried away or start thinking about other stuff.
Re: What if he asks you to stay home?
Ohh, ok, I misunderstood.
What bothers me is that in two of his relationships, he asked the girl about staying at home AFTER the engagement.
Which means they broke off the engagements, and the girls were possibly talked about behind their backs - ke iss ki engagement toot gayi, so something must be wrong with her. Why didn't he ask these girls before putting engagement rings on their fingers?
Why don't guys put this stuff forward on the table?
I've had one cousin who was doing her residency in OBGYN, and she got married to a guy from a family we had already given one of our girls too. So we were comfortable with them, because their other bahu (our other cousin) had no problem. Granted she was a stay-at-home out of her own choice. So they LOVED her.
Now the OBGYN told them that she is not going to drop her career. She had proposals lined up from docs at her hospital who WANTED her to continue with her career, but she took up with this nutjob instead. He and his family PROMISED they would allow her to continue with the career.
They got married.
6 months later, when she was pregnant, they told her to drop the job. They used her unborn child as manipulation - that if she didn't do what they said, they would just kidnap the child and keep the child.
Mind you, boy's family is VERY educated, and has no village background whatsoever. For generations, they have been wealthy merchants.
NO excuse for this behavior.
Sorry my bad for not making this more clear - he DID ask them before they got engaged .. BOTH times... and both times the girls were perfectly cool about it. They simply got cold feet later on and broke off. So yes - this was asked before the rings were put on and the girls WERE cool with this pre-engagement. Iv met both of them at their respective engagement parties. They were excited to become housewives at that point.
And ugh.... that is a really unfortunately story about your cousin. Unfortunately not surprising tho. That is why I always tell girls they should get their education BEFORE they get married. Because no matter what promises are made that it can be completed afterwards... you never know.... circumstances can arise that in-laws can use as a scape goat or they simply point blank go back on the promise completely. I havn't personally seen this in my own community but have heard a lot about this from our relatives in Pakistan and in the UK. I am positive this happens in the US as well but just havn't encountered it yet. :(
Re: What if he asks you to stay home?
Except that if you hold off marriage until after residency is done, a lot of times, you're hitting past 30. At which point, if that's when you START looking, then good luck. I'm turning 27 soon, and I'm having a horrible time finding someone, because I'm out of the game, I guess.
Re: What if he asks you to stay home?
How can someone just kidnap your child?? And how can you sleep next to a man, who is capable of making such remarks, and is willing to go to such lengths to keep you at home.
I would not even let him complete his sentence and say "Done"
me too.........
Re: What if he asks you to stay home?
The catch is. I tell him to dafa ho.
Having said that. I know that if snarred correctly, I am totally open to living at home all day looking after the kids and donning a shuttle-cock burqua.
Thats just how I roll when I am in Love.
Re: What if he asks you to stay home?
I do have to say this though. Bargaining is your parents responsibility. Your mother/father should make the rules very clear before entertaining potentials. That way you dont have to demean yourself. and/or scour psycho forums looking for scrummy relatioship advice.
You seem to know alot of rich people.
Can I be your friend? 
I would not even let him complete his sentence and say "Done"
Same here. I would not give up on something I worked so hard for, especially if its going well
lol. Sure. Why not?
“Knowing a lot of rich people” goes back to my post to a thread a while back where I mentioned that most desi people I know are really hardworking and educated. Girls… AND definitely guys. I also said that it could just be the communities around me tho. 
Scenario 1: The woman wants to work and since she works, she contributes to the finances. Great !!! she gets the whole "independance" thing and the guy gets more monetary input ........ good. Obviously, how she takes care of kids and home in addition to her job is her headache she shouldn't expect the guy to stay home and take care of kids or breast-feed them or expect him to order in food every single day.
So I guess both situations can work. But there will obviously be problems if the girl expects just to "be independant" and be "career-oriented" (whatever that is) without taking care of the kids or the home at all. So I don't see whats all the fuss about.
This can happen without a headache if the husband also partakes in taking care of the house, and especially the kids. I dont undertand why so many people expect domestic duties to be taken care only by women. I know many men who cook,clean and are involved in the upbringing of their kids as mcuh as their wife.
Re: What if he asks you to stay home?
@CM lolz....
or their parents (esp their mums) tell them to ‘stop being so fussy’ and be grateful they got such a ‘good’ proposal 