Sorry my bad for not making this more clear - he DID ask them before they got engaged .. BOTH times… and both times the girls were perfectly cool about it. They simply got cold feet later on and broke off. So yes - this was asked before the rings were put on and the girls WERE cool with this pre-engagement. Iv met both of them at their respective engagement parties. They were excited to become housewives at that point.
And ugh… that is a really unfortunately story about your cousin. Unfortunately not surprising tho. That is why I always tell girls they should get their education BEFORE they get married. Because no matter what promises are made that it can be completed afterwards… you never know… circumstances can arise that in-laws can use as a scape goat or they simply point blank go back on the promise completely. I havn’t personally seen this in my own community but have heard a lot about this from our relatives in Pakistan and in the UK. I am positive this happens in the US as well but just havn’t encountered it yet.
