I know a guy that is fits the bill exactly in Reha’s hypothetical. A family friend’s son. He is extremely intelligent (a little too intelligent in my book :cough:). An engineer, business man (lets just say he patented something and made a lot of money off of it by selling the product to another company that now sells it), and also a doctor. He was one of those guys that couldn’t decide what career path he wanted and now he is ultimately a psychiatrist working for an ivy leaguge institution.
He always fell for girls that were doctors and lawyers and engineers … because he found the intellectually stimulating and had a lot more in common in them than other girls. He has gotten engaged twice to these kind of girls… but both times it broke off when he asked the million dollar question of “would you mind becoming a housewife after marriage”. Girl’s would always say yes… engagement would go down… wedding plans would begin…and then the super accomplished career woman would back out for the reasons Stoppit and others said … like if this guy is asking me to give up this..what else will he make me give up?
He then expanded his horizons and started dating this sweet kindergarten teacher. Things went great and they also got engaged. She truly had no problem becoming a housewife..that was established from the get go. But as time went on and wedding plans he started realizing that she was way too materialistic and money crazy. So he got scared and called it off.
U can imagine the hell his parents went through… especially his mom. It was BAD. But they were never the type to force their son to get married and always said it would be a girl of “his choice” completely.
He met a girl last year who was an engineer …they dated and really clicked I guess. He asked the million dollar question. She has no problems at all with this like the other girls… and it never became an issue either. This guy finally got married … his parents are overjoyed because chic is from the same part of the country as them..same caste…she is educated..her parents are… blah blah blah. Win win for everyone. They both quit their jobs 2 months before their shaadi … he got another one but told them he would start in 8 months. After their shaadi happened he took her on a SIX MONTH LONG WORLD TOUR HONEYMOON! lol. They are still not back yet…
I guess my point is that there are definitely guys like this out there… and for whatever reason they want their wife to be a housewife. But there are also plenty of girls in this world that would be totally ok with it… and others that would not be ok with it. It all comes down to personal preference…just like its the guys preference.. its also a girls preference.
This guy had a really really hard time finding a girl that fit his bill. He obviously wanted someone really down to earth but also really intelligent as well. He wanted someone who had career experience so that she could identify with him and vice versa. But he wanted someone like his mom at the end of the day… a housewife. He was also paranoid that a girl was only after him for his money (since he is ridiculously loaded). But despite all this … he STILL found a girl… and was able to get married. (and yes - he is paying off her loans in full).
So yea - definitely not for me. I would be personally offended that my boyfriend/potential rishtaa asked me this. If I want to work.. .great..if i want to be a housewife.. great… but it should be my choice completely. But girls like me would never marry a guy that does ask us this.