Re: What have u suffered at the hands of ur In laws
well said diamond
According to you, its a gender-wide problem and we are the source of all evil.
At least, you got that right.
When I see such harsh and mean statements from people who dont try to understand anyone else...just makes me think of how our men are these days. They want their women to be left at their parents' mercy because they deserve to be treated and tortured.
Totally presumptuous statement. Actually, this thread is full of it. I would also say it is full of hypocrisy.
Sara, I have finally read the thread in detail and I have read the comments I made earlier and I do not see that I made the wrong comments. I did not say that Red Ruby or korn666 have not been wronged, although I strongly believe that conclusions cannot be made unless both sides of the picture are available to you. Anyway, almost all the stories here involved a small number of evil men and a large number of evil women. Evil men in the shape of husbands and evil women in the shape of MIL, SIL, other wives, etc. Most MIL have already passed the age of coming to these forum but if they did believe me you would have heard equally heart wrenching stories about evil DIL and evil MIL. Even Red Ruby's and korn666's MIL, SIL and their Sautons will write their stories where an ordinary women will shed stream of tears, like they do watching soaps.
I am an educated married man and have educated married friends and have enough experience and have made enough observations to come to these conclusions. Almost all of you will become the evil that you are facing today. Your DILs will come to such forums to share their angst against you. You will carry the germs. Most desi women have not learned to live is a civilized world. Their instincts still make them become violent when faced with opposition. It is time to make a difference for your own good.
I lose hope concerning men too.
Probably we will never understand each other.
I think it would be an absolute miracle if I found a guy that wasnt a mama's boy and didnt think I have to kiss his mother's feet in order to win his affection.
We don't want our wives to kiss our mother's feet. We just want you to give them respect. The same respect that your think your mother deserves from your SIL and nothing more.
I know men who are so pathetic their wives have to cut their fingernails for them!
Assumptions! I have at many times groomed my wife's nails because I wanted her to look good. Many a times she asked me herself. I never thought it being demeaning. I can ask her to do things for me which I cannot ask anyone else, not even my mother. That is the beauty of marriage. How a story is told to you and how you perceive are two different things. Be careful of how you form your opinions based on someone else narrations.
I know men who beat their wives.
I know wives who beat their husbands. Domestic violence is big no. Get rid of the person immediately.
I know men who have never had a job in their lives...because their women work to support them.
It is an outcome of women lib. Again, it is hard to form a conclusion unless you know the reality yourself without a bit of assumption. I have a friend who stays home and takes care of the kids while his wife works. They made a mutual decision because his wife's salary was much more than what he was getting.
I know men who wont let their women work because it will make them too smart.
Again, it is hard to form a conclusion unless you know the reality yourself without a bit of assumption.
All of this improvement needs to come from the women because the men are bholay bhalay se bachay and so mazloom. Men dont have minds of their owns, a voice, convictions, preferences, responsibilities, etc.
Not all. But this should not be an excuse for not looking at your own follies.
Where in Islam does it say men are void of responsibility and that women will take the fall for all mankind?
I prefer not to comment on religion, unless I am completely sure.
Seriously, it seems like the improvements should be coming from both sides. Not just women so you dont have to shoulder the responsibilities.
That is a positive remark.
Anyway, almost all the stories here involved a small number of evil men and a large number of evil women. Evil men in the shape of husbands and evil women in the shape of MIL, SIL, other wives, etc.
Thats an interesting point....
This is absolutely ridiculous. Almost 99% of the MILs and SILs here seem to be evil. I am sure your mothers and yourself are part of the evil group when looked from the other side. So at the end, just blame yourself. You more or less deserve this treatments as a gender overall.
This was a presumptive AND a bit too......inexperienced of a statement. Im trying to be nice here.
^^So I have not gone through this thread from the start; I might have misinterpreted the situation. However, you did not try to understand what I was saying as well.
I have almost lost all hope that there will be improvement in such things in the future, because of the way I see females close to me behaving. And they see nothing wrong in torturing others as they believe it is their divine right. This improvement needed to come from the womenfolk but I think it was only a wishful thinking from me.
Men see torturing women as their divine right.
At least, you got that right.
When I see such harsh and mean statements from people who dont try to understand anyone else...just makes me think of how our men are these days. They want their women to be left at their parents' mercy because they deserve to be treated and tortured.
Totally presumptuous statement. Actually, this thread is full of it. I would also say it is full of hypocrisy.
Sara, I have finally read the thread in detail and I have read the comments I made earlier and I do not see that I made the wrong comments. I did not say that Red Ruby or korn666 have not been wronged, although I strongly believe that conclusions cannot be made unless both sides of the picture are available to you. Anyway, almost all the stories here involved a small number of evil men and a large number of evil women. Evil men in the shape of husbands and evil women in the shape of MIL, SIL, other wives, etc. Most MIL have already passed the age of coming to these forum but if they did believe me you would have heard equally heart wrenching stories about evil DIL and evil MIL. Even Red Ruby's and korn666's MIL, SIL and their Sautons will write their stories where an ordinary women will shed stream of tears, like they do watching soaps.
I am an educated married man and have educated married friends and have enough experience and have made enough observations to come to these conclusions. Almost all of you will become the evil that you are facing today. Your DILs will come to such forums to share their angst against you. You will carry the germs. Most desi women have not learned to live is a civilized world. Their instincts still make them become violent when faced with opposition. It is time to make a difference for your own good.
WOW
You dont sound like you want to have anything to do with the solution...just the problem...which is typical of desi men.
I lose hope concerning men too. Probably we will never understand each other.
What a loss...
I think it would be an absolute miracle if I found a guy that wasnt a mama's boy and didnt think I have to kiss his mother's feet in order to win his affection. We don't want our wives to kiss our mother's feet. We just want you to give them respect. The same respect that your think your mother deserves from your SIL and nothing more.
*Respect is a two way street...dont expect it unless you're ready to reciprocate with the same. *
I know men who are so pathetic their wives have to cut their fingernails for them! Assumptions! I have at many times groomed my wife's nails because I wanted her to look good. Many a times she asked me herself. I never thought it being demeaning. I can ask her to do things for me which I cannot ask anyone else, not even my mother. That is the beauty of marriage. How a story is told to you and how you perceive are two different things. Be careful of how you form your opinions based on someone else narrations.
*You cutting your wife's nails because you may give good pedicures is one thing. But a man not caring if his nails look like fangs is entirely another! *
I know men who beat their wives. I know wives who beat their husbands. Domestic violence is big no. Get rid of the person immediately.
*Really? Do you think more women abuse and beat their husbands or men? Which do you think is the majority? *
I know men who have never had a job in their lives...because their women work to support them. It is an outcome of women lib. Again, it is hard to form a conclusion unless you know the reality yourself without a bit of assumption. I have a friend who stays home and takes care of the kids while his wife works. They made a mutual decision because his wife's salary was much more than what he was getting.
*No, its not. Its an outcome of alcohol and the complete disregard they have for women now. *
I know men who wont let their women work because it will make them too smart. Again, it is hard to form a conclusion unless you know the reality yourself without a bit of assumption.
*Wow...so if I say something its an assumption. But you hold all the answers because someone died and made you God? *
No assumptions...these are facts narrated by the women themselves. NOT a he-said she-said type of thing. Ive spoken to their husbands "kya karengi kaam karke? inke do paison se kya poora ghar chalega?"
All of this improvement needs to come from the women because the men are bholay bhalay se bachay and so mazloom. Men dont have minds of their owns, a voice, convictions, preferences, responsibilities, etc. Not all. But this should not be an excuse for not looking at your own follies.
*Its not an excuse...its a little bit of a realization for people like you that the fault does not lie alone with women. Man was created by Allah swt also and Islam does not hold anyone else accountable for another's sins. So please dont exempt yourself from the responsibility of the future. You are equally at fault because you do nothing to stop or help. *
Where in Islam does it say men are void of responsibility and that women will take the fall for all mankind? I prefer not to comment on religion, unless I am completely sure.
*Then you might want to be sure. *
Seriously, it seems like the improvements should be coming from both sides. Not just women so you dont have to shoulder the responsibilities. That is a positive remark.
*All I see here is a blame game. Nothing more than that. You have some interesting points but you want to cling to the notion of women being evil. So, who am I to stop you? *
*Yes, women are all evil. So, why did you marry one? *
*Ooooh Wait...I know the answer to this one: "because she is different and so is my mom. My mom is the most wonderful woman you will ever meet". *
Re: What have u suffered at the hands of ur In laws
WOW
You dont sound like you want to have anything to do with the solution...just the problem...which is typical of desi men.
Let me know which part you did not agree with. Your answer above depicts exactly what you are doing yourself.
I lose hope concerning men too.
Probably we will never understand each other.
*What a loss...
Really, it is.
*
I think it would be an absolute miracle if I found a guy that wasnt a mama's boy and didnt think I have to kiss his mother's feet in order to win his affection.
We don't want our wives to kiss our mother's feet. We just want you to give them respect. The same respect that your think your mother deserves from your SIL and nothing more.
*Respect is a two way street...dont expect it unless you're ready to reciprocate with the same. *
Definitely, then don't interfere with your brother's married life if your SIL is not giving the same respect to your mother.
I know men who are so pathetic their wives have to cut their fingernails for them!
Assumptions! I have at many times groomed my wife's nails because I wanted her to look good. Many a times she asked me herself. I never thought it being demeaning. I can ask her to do things for me which I cannot ask anyone else, not even my mother. That is the beauty of marriage. How a story is told to you and how you perceive are two different things. Be careful of how you form your opinions based on someone else narrations.
You cutting your wife's nails because you may give good pedicures is one thing. But a man not caring if his nails look like fangs is entirely another!
**Too specific an event to generalize.
**
I know men who beat their wives.
I know wives who beat their husbands. Domestic violence is big no. Get rid of the person immediately.
*Really? Do you think more women abuse and beat their husbands or men? Which do you think is the majority? *
Most likely men beating women. This is plain wrong. Don't keep on living with the criminals.
I know men who have never had a job in their lives...because their women work to support them.
It is an outcome of women lib. Again, it is hard to form a conclusion unless you know the reality yourself without a bit of assumption. I have a friend who stays home and takes care of the kids while his wife works. They made a mutual decision because his wife's salary was much more than what he was getting.
No, its not. Its an outcome of alcohol and the complete disregard they have for women now.
**Be more specific.
**
I know men who wont let their women work because it will make them too smart.
Again, it is hard to form a conclusion unless you know the reality yourself without a bit of assumption.
*Wow...so if I say something its an assumption. But you hold all the answers because someone died and made you God? *
I did not mean that. I will reword my above sentence. "It is hard for me to form a conclusion on this unless I know the reality without any bits of assumption". As I cannot validate myself, I will take your point as a valid point, because I believe you would have written the comment after diligently trying to dig out the truth.
No assumptions...these are facts narrated by the women themselves. NOT a he-said she-said type of thing. Ive spoken to their husbands "kya karengi kaam karke? inke do paison se kya poora ghar chalega?"
Sorry for sounding rude again but I strongly believe women don't see things, they perceive things. They don't narrate the facts, they narrate their feelings about a scenario. I do not form conclusion on FACTS told to me by others, which I cannot verify myself.
All of this improvement needs to come from the women because the men are bholay bhalay se bachay and so mazloom. Men dont have minds of their owns, a voice, convictions, preferences, responsibilities, etc.
Not all. But this should not be an excuse for not looking at your own follies.
*Its not an excuse...its a little bit of a realization for people like you that the fault does not lie alone with women. Man was created by Allah swt also and Islam does not hold anyone else accountable for another's sins. So please dont exempt yourself from the responsibility of the future. You are equally at fault because you do nothing to stop or help.
*
When there are illogical, emotional fights, solution are beyond the comprehension of typical man. He gets torn between the two parties. He is to blame as well, though.
Where in Islam does it say men are void of responsibility and that women will take the fall for all mankind?
I prefer not to comment on religion, unless I am completely sure.
*Then you might want to be sure. *
Well. There are specific comments in Quran about these issues but again something that I do not want to touch.
Seriously, it seems like the improvements should be coming from both sides. Not just women so you dont have to shoulder the responsibilities.
That is a positive remark.
Re: What have u suffered at the hands of ur In laws
ahhh Witchdr... I have lost the will to live...