This place always has and always will have a very special place in my heart. It has a community spirit like no other Pakistani forum on the world wide web, but lately I have started to actually feel afraid of some of the members on this forum and the state of their mental health.
It just seems that there’s so much gossping that goes around, some of which is wrongly spread to create ill feelings towards guppies that don’t even deserve it. Is it wrong to listen to or believe this gossip? A few months ago I got to hear something about an old Guppie friend of mine and i believed this without once confronting him … I’d never do that in real life, so why should it be any different over the net? How come we find it easier to cut friendships over the net then we do in real life?
I was reading Fraudz’ journal y’day and I’m still reeling from the shock. Maybe I’m niave, I just didn’t think people like that existed on Gupshup, evil evil people. This all leaves a bad taste in my mouth.
I guess I just miss Gupshup being a normal forum with normal people.
C'est la vie..the reality is Sadi GS was probably always like this nothing has changed, human nature in the end doesn't change. You will always see Saints and sinners and the dividing line between the two is a lot thinner than what I for one would like.
Whats changed is your awareness of it...and I think thats a good sign (although it can mean you've gotten old :p ).
I guess what it boils down to is that I have a very tight circle of close friends in real life, who are alhuldulillah genuinely nice people. When i hear stories like those illustrated in Fraudz' journal or the one about the guppy friend, I'm kinda knocked for 6 that those kind of people even exist.
Like I said, I've always loved Gupshup, and thought of it as being the nicest and friendliest forum I've ever visited. The majority of the posters are Muslim, so I guess I had these pre conceived notions as to what the people that post on here are capable of. One of the reasons I joined was cuz of this thread I once read where someone's relative had passed away and people were getting together and trying to read a supara of the Qu'ran each for this person. I was so touched by this. This is the way I've aways viewed Gupshup - like a brotherhood of decent humans. I guess I was kinda looking at things through rose tinted specs.
I dunno why this has surprised or hurt me so much.
It depends on u too mostly. I get to hear gossips too..ppl yea backbite too over here ...some are jealous of each other ..but do I come out and say it actually NO! I listen from one ear and let it out from the other but I keep my eyes open and only see from my perspective. I dont let hatred of one guppy for another guppy get me. Yes, among these rotten eggs there are good ones too. You just need to be lookin at the right place.
Well that is the thing with gossip. How do you even know that all of it is true? Sometimes, its some truth mixed in with a bunch of lies that people made up to sensationalize something, and sometimes they're total lies 100 percent. I guess its up to your maturity as to whether you believe in them or not, and as to whether you give it attention or not.
But yeah, I have come to the same conclusion as you Sadi. For me, this used to be a more family-like place, filled with good-hearted educated Pakistanis. But, there are always rotten apples in the crowd. Just steer clear from them.
But yeah, I have come to the same conclusion as you Sadi. For me, this used to be a more family-like place, filled with good-hearted educated Pakistanis. But, there are always rotten apples in the crowd. Just steer clear from them.
I know.
It hurts because this was supposed to be the safe place where you are protected and immune from things that happen in “real life”. A place where you are only connected through a keyboard and a screen…lifeless and inanimate objects that should have no real impact on your life.
In actuality, virtual communities, by their very nature, turn out to be places that are often more hurtful than those things we deal with in real life. Because we feel so protected and removed, we tend to open up more. We tend to share things that we wouldn’t even share with those that are a part of our real life because here we do it anonymously…behind the comfortable veil of a nickname.
What most fail to realize is that we identify with our nicknames just as we do with our names. To other members we are “Sadi Sobi” but to ourselves, we are “your real name” parading as Sadi Sobi. And when there is an attack on “Sadi Sobi”, we perceive it as an attack on “your real name”. We forget that the members don’t necessarily see the bigger picture that is our life.
Anyhow…didn’t mean to carry on like this…
The crux of it is that this place is not as “virtual” as you would like to believe. It’s more real and more a family, a society of which we are part than we give it credit for. So when we see a disease take over, we hurt just as we would if it was happening to a near and dear friend or relative.
Thats very true Muzna..in the end some of us…maybe most of us come here to escape from the problems of real life, the reality is there are a lot of people who bring “real lifes problems” with them. If you are around in any place for long enough you create a community, a village, a town or a city and automatically all of the good and bad of a community follows. I don’t know what difference being Muslim makes…personally I don’t think it makes any except making the disappointment greater.
There are only a few members here who i hold close to heart.
They have earned my respect and my friendship and I theirs.
They know my secrets.
When they hurt, i hurt.
Having said that, the amount of pretence that is there through certain people is amazing, they extend their hand in friendship among false declarations just to get personal with you.
As for passing of personal judgment then anybody here who claims that they havent done so at any occassion are oxymorons.
Which will make all of us.
Love the way how when pointing fingers at others and crying wolf, some individuals forget their applauding performances.
In actuality, virtual communities, by their very nature, turn out to be places that are often more hurtful than those things we deal with in real life. Because we feel so protected and removed, we tend to open up more. We tend to share things that we wouldn't even share with those that are a part of our real life because here we do it anonymously....behind the comfortable veil of a nickname.
What most fail to realize is that we identify with our nicknames just as we do with our names. To other members we are "Sadi Sobi" but to ourselves, we are "your real name" parading as Sadi Sobi. And when there is an attack on "Sadi Sobi", we perceive it as an attack on "your real name". We forget that the members don't necessarily see the bigger picture that is our life.
Anyhow....didn't mean to carry on like this......
The crux of it is that this place is not as "virtual" as you would like to believe. It's more real and more a family, a society of which we are part than we give it credit for. So when we see a disease take over, we hurt just as we would if it was happening to a near and dear friend or relative.
