I am posting on my friend’s behalf (female) who is currently going through a rishta process.
Okay so this credible rishta came and both families talked over the phone and decided to exchange pix because both were comfortable excahnging pix b4 they actually met up. my friend liked the pix of the guy and so did her family and her family sent her pix to guy’s family in exchange. his mom called and said she likes the pix and all the positive feedback and that she would like to come over. she also mentioend that her son hasnt seen them yet and tat he’ll be seeign them today. then she emphasized she would really like to meet up. she then started asking bout my firend’s other sis (the age gap is not much b/w my firend n her sis) n mentioned tat she knows sum1 who’s looking for their son too and maby the younger sis could be a match.
since my friend ‘s family hasnt met teh guy’s family yet for their older daughter, her mom just ignored it n thot of it as nothing big. but then again after this convo’s 3 days later, his mom called again n told what the guy does (tat she’s interested in hookin up the sis with) and asked for the pix w/o mentioning tat guy’s pix will be emailed first. so far it seems seh wants emails sent to her address (even though she’s not his mom) and wants the sis’ pix first w/o guy’s pix being received by the gal’s family.
she also mentioned the timeframe she’s thinking of coming (not the exact timeframe just a rough idea) adn she said seh’ll bring the other party too after seeing the pix of her sis.
Is this normal? what does this mean? my firend told me about it and i can reach 1000 conclusions but i wanted your opinions on it too as many of you have gone thru rishta process (formal/arranged) and know wat happens and should happen.
I am not sure if I would go by a pic as the standard of judging someone. Secondly, maybe shes interested in the girl's sis as well. The reason may actually be that there is another family, but it may also be that she herself is interested in the sis. In any case, it sounds a little weird and I think the parents should stick to the rishta for ONE girl at one time.
I am hunting for my sister right now and learned my lesson early on...always ask for the pictures first. If you dont, you end up looking bad when you hesitate to send your pictures.
It seems like the guy's mother is trying to collect as much information as possible without thinking to offer just as much back. I would simply call and make sure you guys are on the same ground...especially if they're coming to look at your friend's sister also.
One more thing: Its never a good idea to put two sisters out there together...never ever ever. Your friend's mom is excited because it might mean killing two birds with one stone but its a bad bad idea.
I am hunting for my sister right now and learned my lesson early on...always ask for the pictures first. If you dont, you end up looking bad when you hesitate to send your pictures.
It seems like the guy's mother is trying to collect as much information as possible without thinking to offer just as much back. I would simply call and make sure you guys are on the same ground...especially if they're coming to look at your friend's sister also.
One more thing: Its never a good idea to put two sisters out there together...never ever ever. Your friend's mom is excited because it might mean killing two birds with one stone but its a bad bad idea.
I agree.
I also think that if they are such a similar age and stuff... if the boy's family come over for initial meetings to see how things go, I'd not have the other sister there.
It can create a lot of problems.
Well, unless the parents and the girls aren't bothered which sister they go for.
On a second thought this guy family doesn't look like a straight-forward bunch...I would block their calls immediately or just tell the mom that "not interested".
I hate arranged marriages for this very reason of business type transactions.
Its a really, really bad idea because it may result in resentment between the sisters. Suppose they come and choose the other sister, how would the first sister feel about this ?
Ask them to consider only the first sister for now and I would strongly recommend that the other sister not even come in the picture like not even come to meet them.
If they hide the other sister for the first meet and she then appears in later meetings and the susral likes her more than same or worse issues will evolve.
I don't get a good vibe from what carpool has described above.
I agree with the part of not mixing the two up. tat's wat i told her to do. her parents are too simple n someitmes i get mad at their simplicity lolz. not chalak hoshyar ppl. so they wud never think of it this way. i can tell her to tell her paretns to not send the pix becuase they r not interested either for the other sis but the guy's family doesnt seem to get tat. i'lll have more updates soon after her mom tells them that no not interested for sis. will let u know wat happens.
for those of u who suggested tat she might b interested in both sis 2 see which one's better for her own son then y wud she tell wat the 2nd guy does? so i'm assuming there really is a guy in real who really is seriously looking too..??
I agree with funguy and the posters with similar thoughts. It appears that they want to check both sisters out to ensure that they get the "best deal." We could be wrong...they could genuinely be on the lookout for their friend's son as they said and just have a poor way of going about it, but that's not the feeling I'm getting.
The best method of dealing with this is pretty much what has already been mentioned...one rishta at a time. Problem is, if they are trying to check out both sisters for themselves and not for their friend, are those really the type of people your friend wants to be involved with?
Edit: In response to your recent post, carpool, she may have described the guy's job because there really IS a guy. Or she may have made it up to lend her story some credibility. Either way, the best method of dealing with this right now is probably "one rishta at a time."
Just my two cents. Good luck. I hope there's a happy ending to this story, Inshallah.
These aunties get an orgasmic high when talking rishta over the phone and exchanging pics. This probably is the highlight of their entire life. Apni baitioN kau bakroN ki tara paish karo aur doosraun ki baition kay ehsaasaat sai khelo.
Just like i mentioned above guy's mom said seh'll bring the respected party over if the thing with sis goes well. if seh was interested in both to see which one's better, where wud seh bring the respected party from?
also, let's say she really is interested in both sis for her son, eventually if she does pick the other sis (the younger one) doesn't she think the family would find out and woudl get mad.
it's these confusing and contradictory thoughts that i'm thinkin it could be genuine. but again, she hasnt met the first one doesnt know wat the family's like, marriage is a big committment and you are already involving your friend's family too..i dont know anymore.
it sounds like at this point they are not even interested in what the family is like or anything.
they just want to see the girls so they can see who's more attractive to their son.
obviously she has to make up another 'guy' so it doesn't sound weird that she wants to see the other sister. just like she made them up she can unmake them too - 'oh they got a proposal they liked somewhere else'.
and some people don't think it's a big deal - 'at least one of your daughters is getting married!'
if the people are acting strange at this point, do they really want to continue?
These aunties get an orgasmic high when talking rishta over the phone and exchanging pics. This probably is the highlight of their entire life. Apni baitioN kau bakroN ki tara paish karo aur doosraun ki baition kay ehsaasaat sai khelo.
I am so pissed...
So you're suggesting that the girls should go out and hunt for themselves?
Arranged marriages have been statistically proven to be more durable and NO, I don't agree that every arranged marriage is an oppression.
It is possible that there is some deficiency in the first guy and his mom is using the "second rishta" to hedge her son's proposal. In other words, give your daughter to my son and I will do your other rishta as well.
Or it is also possible that both the families are idiots and don't know how to approach the rishta thing at all.
Yes. Make your daughters educated and independent and let them find their life partners. Arranged marriage should only be a last resort solution.
Yeah rite... I think we all know how the "indpendant" men/women enjoy having alot of sexual partners or boy/girl friends before they settle on any IF they ever do.
Thanks, but no thanks.
And please don't tell me there aren't a million single parents esp single moms with 3-4 kids from different bfs/husbands, mostly due to the "independant" and laissez-faire attitude.
I think arranged marriages are the way to go. Statistics speak for themselves.
It is possible that there is some deficiency in the first guy and his mom is using the "second rishta" to hedge her son's proposal. In other words, give your daughter to my son and I will do your other rishta as well.
Or it is also possible that both the families are idiots and don't know how to approach the rishta thing at all.
Please refrain from calling ny names to either parties includign "idiots". no neither party is rishta dummy as both families have married at least one of their kids.
as far as guy having a deficiency, pic was all fine. he's very well educated. so it's definitely not tat. n my friend's family doesntthink of their daughters as a burden to come under tat kinda influence tat marry one and the toher one will be married too.