Re: What does Islam say?
And going to bazaars **well theres a reason why some women are comfortable **there but not when dad's friend is in their home.
i am all ears
Re: What does Islam say?
I’ve never understood why some ppl think going to bazaars is worse than being with non-mehram guys at home.. Most women ‘back home’ go to bazaars out of necessity and besides that there’s nothing wrong Islamically with being outdoors as long as ur covered and u aren’t left alone with a non-mehram (which u obviously wouldn’t be out in public)..
Being at home with a non-mehram it’s much more likely that at some point u will be left alone with him.. Again, crazy illogical ‘desi Islam’..
Re: What does Islam say?
i am all ears
I've never understood why some ppl think going to bazaars is worse than being with non-mehram guys at home.. Most women 'back home' go to bazaars out of necessity and besides that there's nothing wrong Islamically with being outdoors as long as ur covered and u aren't left alone with a non-mehram (which u obviously wouldn't be out in public).
There you go.
I honestly don't know how many fathers would expect their daughters or force their daughters to entertain his friends or meet them or anything.
Re: What does Islam say?
hey guys , a friend asked me some question and shared some information with me. According to her, how did a couple used to live when they get married , 1400 years ago i.e. did they live with boy's parents or girl's parents ? What was the usual lifestyle after islam came?
What Islam says in this regard?
According to her, there was no living with in laws, they used to live in separate homes >>> More Information Needed.
u didn't get it. I meant what islam says in this manner as today society says bad for children who don't live with inlaws or parents. I just wanted to know the islamic way as to after marriage, should a couple be living with parents>>> is it an order?
No I did not get it wrong. Read your own question. It was simple and asking how people lived 1400 years ago. :p
Now that you are asking today's time. This question has been asked here before.
No force or coersion. As long as parents are taken care off any way of living is fine.
Re: What does Islam say?
I believe foreigners are following it much. The bride and groom before marriage arrange for themselves a separate home and check all their expenses and that how they will live day to day afterwards.
Re: What does Islam say?
....
Re: What does Islam say?
Agree :k:
Re: What does Islam say?
Good gawwd! Now a new dodgy nick comes alive to discuss the same old beat up topic of living with the inlaws. Alright, you don't want to live with the inlaws, and islam doesn't require you to. We get it, now leave it alone FFS. What is disturbing is, quite many of you will get married and manipulate your husbands into moving away from their parents. Some of you have, and some of you will. Like some gems of women were annoyed at their FILs and MILs for interfering into their lives i.e. teaching their children some manners, and thought it was unacceptable for their MILs to come stay at their son's house for a few months. Instead of posting numerous threads on the same subject and repeating the same bright thoughts and ideas over and over again (perhaps to justify it to yourself), you should all pray that you end up with easy to manipulate ball-less pussies of husbands whom you can order/manipulate around and have your way. Oh and its funny how you lot pull out beards and topis and copy paste pages and pages of religious quotations with bolds and highlights when it comes to taking care of your inlaws, and then go ballistic when someone mentions polygamy. Well, if you are so on the path of righteousness then don't hate on EDAL when he says islam allows 4 marriages. That might be inconvenient for you, but thats also islam.
Re: What does Islam say?
I dont understand why these things are so difficult to grasp.
Marriage is not a punishment for a woman...its supposed to a partnership for both man and woman. Women are not bound to serve man or anyone for that matter...Ive no idea why people make it out to be some sort of horrendous struggle she has to go through in order to prove herself worthy of marriage. No woman should be required to serve her inlaws because its not her responsibility. Does she not have parents of her own to care for? Who died and made the guys' parents God? Why are the man's parents such a big deal here? If men here think its a woman's job to care for her inlaws...they better be the first ones at their inlaws' homes taking out the trash when they're old. Its a give and take...its not a one way street.
Similarly, when people are in a bind they call and use their rights...rights by law...in Islam...etc. Why shouldnt a woman ask for a place to live and care for her family? She has no rights because she isnt wearing hijab? So only hijabi women can ask for a home? The rest of us are all making excuses? Says who? Hijab is the qualifying factor here? Only hijabi girls are Muslim? The rest of us arent?
Marriage is a PARTNERSHIP...not a DICTATORSHIP.
Re: What does Islam say?
I dont understand why these things are so difficult to grasp.
Marriage is not a punishment for a woman...its supposed to a partnership for both man and woman. Women are not bound to serve man or anyone for that matter...Ive no idea why people make it out to be some sort of horrendous struggle she has to go through in order to prove herself worthy of marriage. No woman should be required to serve her inlaws because its not her responsibility. Does she not have parents of her own to care for? Who died and made the guys' parents God? Why are the man's parents such a big deal here? If men here think its a woman's job to care for her inlaws...they better be the first ones at their inlaws' homes taking out the trash when they're old. Its a give and take...its not a one way street.
Similarly, when people are in a bind they call and use their rights...rights by law...in Islam...etc. Why shouldnt a woman ask for a place to live and care for her family? She has no rights because she isnt wearing hijab? So only hijabi women can ask for a home? The rest of us are all making excuses? Says who? Hijab is the qualifying factor here? Only hijabi girls are Muslim? The rest of us arent?
Marriage is a PARTNERSHIP...not a DICTATORSHIP.
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^ well said Reha :k:
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**Living separate from inlaws is now ‘manipulating’ lol..
Some men seriously need to grow up and cut themselves from their mummy’s apron strings, 99% of other Muslim men can manage to get their own home when they marry but for some**** desi men this basic thing is apparently too ‘greedy’ or ‘selfish.’ Yeah, the whole world is wrong and obviously they’re right **
And Jaanwar I posted all that stuff to prove a point, unlike some others on here I don’t try and** pass off my own opinion as Islamic fact.. Unfortunately there are still toooo many girls out there who really believe their duty is to live and serve the inlaws, dunno why it would bother u so much that it’s simply being pointed out that it’s not.
It’s not the men who move out of their parents’ homes who are the pussies, doesn’t it take a ‘real’ man to provide a house and pay the bills rather than stay at home with mother still babying him and doing his laundry, cleaning etc. his whole life?
**
EDAL remember is the guy who despite having slept around thought he deserved a ‘pure’ wife, quoting Islam on one hand and saying what a good Muslim he was, as well as making out it was somehow ok for a man to be a total hypocrite just cos our culture ‘allows’ it..
If the subject ‘living with inlaws’ bothers u so much why not just stay out of the thread?
Re: What does Islam say?
Well I guess living with in-laws or not should be a matter of personal choice and preference with no force or coercion with the husband and in-laws accepting whatever the decision of DIL is…
Re: What does Islam say?
^I agree.. If a girl wants to live with her inlaws she should and if she doesn't that should also be her choice. It's disgusting that some ppl have the view she must be some sort of 'trouble maker' for simply wanting a bit of space and privacy.. I made a bit of a generalisation saying men who stay at home are mummy's boys, of course not all of them are.. If they live at home tho they should be helping with the bills and housework tho, not simply expecting to be treated how they were aged 12..
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^ I wonder if our future in laws n husband read our discussions, views and opinions we express in GS, would they still be willing to marry us 
LOL.. (well of course I am talking about desi people)
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It just boggles my mind when I see views so harsh towards a woman.
The funny thing is, most of the MILs that demand the joint family system dont even live with their own inlaws.
Its like they want an orphan for a DIL...someone they can pluck out of her environment and implant into their own. Some families even rename their DILs.
Any girl who goes against this is like Deeba said...a "trouble maker" or "chalak" or "hoshiyaar" or the best one I have ever heard "advaaaaanced".
Its rubbish to make someone live a way they dont feel comfortable in as a punishment for agreeing to marry into that family.
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I just do not understand why so animosity/negativity and hostility against the idea of living with in-laws.
What kind of ‘khurraant’, hostile women we are observing these days?
There you go I added word ‘Khurrant’ here. 
Where do these women go to learn to be so negative?
My point here is that women should not be so adamant about the idea of living separately.
All options should be open.
Living seprately does have a lot of problem in a lot of situations.
Make friends, not enemies. Eventually it will benefit.
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I just do not understand why so much animosity/negativity and hostility against women who prefer to live on their own.
What kind of hostile men are we looking at tehse days…
Where do these men learn to be so negative 
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Not equal Sara.
All options should be open.
If parents of man and woman are tken care of then any kind of living method is fine in Islam. Please read my earlier post.
My post was directed to the so called enlighhtened women who completely reject the idea of living with in-laws.
In arranged marrige, these girls are chosed by in-laws and men are convinced by their parents she is a good person.
In laws do that without even knowing that after marrage same woman will ask for separate living.
These women put pessure on man to work harder and feel depressed that he is not making enough to live away from his parents.
Also in need of a baby sitter these women still ask for in-laws for help.
Why can’t they all be one big happy family?
BTW: I have no unconditional sympathy for men either. Those who live in a house, apartment/flat bought by their in laws or look for a sugar mama, or marry to get visa and visa only as a pre-requisite for marrying, are not respectable men also. Dispicable men to be exact.
Re: What does Islam say?
Khurrant-pana sirf aurton mein hi nahin hota hai…its just as bad among men.
Diwana,
Why does it seem like your post is placing the entire responsibility of making friends on the woman’s shoulders? Its a two way street…every relationship. Not just romantic ones.
I don’t think its about being adamant either. Its about acknowledging her rights as a woman. Her options should always be open to her because they are HER options. People don’t get to pick and choose where she lives or tell her how to live. She is a human being and fully capable of making that decision on her own. The idea of “tum subha subha mere maa baap ke liye nashta banaogi aur unki khidmat karogi aur unki dekh bhaal karogi aur saat mere bhi saara kaam karogi aur bachon ka bhi karogi” is rubbish and has no place. Jab MIL aur FIL ke apne bachon se unki khidmat nahin hoti hai to phir bahir vala akay kya karega? The way YOU will take care of your own parents, no one else will and that is why in their old age they are your responsibility and not the DIL’s.
Its not about being khurrant…its about apni zimmidariyon ka ehsaas. Allah swt has **not **released the woman from her responsibilities towards her own parents so she can take care of her husband’s.
The other thing is, if girls weren’t cornered into a position where they were TOLD to live this way…I’m pretty sure they wouldn’t be so stubborn about it.