Re: What does Islam say?
ok ladies, it is NOT her responsiblity to take care of In-laws…and she can’t take care of her own because she will be living her husband (in a separate house/or in in-laws house without taking care of them)…
so in short…the women don’t have to take care of anyone…
lets see what the guy has to do..he
has to take out time to take care of his parents by himself, his wife, his kids and also of his in-laws (all by himself)…
oh and also earn enough money to have a separate house for his wife, and to help out his inlaws, and run the household expenditures of his own, parent’s house…and obviously his wife will be having a career n he will have to hire a nanny to take care of the kids…and he has absolutely NO RIGHT over his wife’s earning
i see such a guy a living a VERY VERY happy life..
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Hmmmm…this is actually very interesting. I’d like to see if you have the answers to the following:
What do you mean by take care of his parents, wife, kids and inlaws? What do you have to do to take care of your wife, kids and inlaws? Do men stay home and wipe the kids’ butts or do women do that? I dont know any man who has given up his career to stay home to take care of his wife and kids so that is an untrue statement right there. By “take care” the ONLY thing you can mean is provide for financially and that is actually your responsibility.
His parents and his family…the bare minimum. IF he expects his wife to care for his parents (by care I mean cook, clean and do their chores)…he should be caring for her’s also (same things for them) because after shaadi her parents dont just disappear. They are still alive, breathing and will need their children in their old age as well. Since when did Allah swt make it okay for men or women to shirk their responsibilities?
Again, you’re not exempt from taking care of your parents just because you got married. Your wife gets sawab for being there for your parents but that is NOT her job NOR does it release you from what you should be doing. You owe your parents YOUR time…not your wife’s time. Similarly, she owes her parents HER time…not her husband’s. As a team, you can take care of both but one person shouldnt be expected to do it all. And if you do, dont complain when she starts calling on all of her Islamic rights like a separate home, money for a nanny, etc etc etc.
I dont even think the joint family system is the issue here anymore.
I think priorities are messed up.
When people get married, its not so the woman can spend her life proving her worthiness to the people around her. She IS worthy since the day she was born. She is daughter, sister, mother, wife, all of it. When our Prophet (saw) talked about the Day of Judgement and how the parents who raise their kids to be naik and saleh people would be right next to Him on that day…He didnt say that for boys…He said that for girls. Why? Because its the women who create homes out of houses.
You get married for partnership, companionship, love, to create a family, etc. Otherwise, we dont need spouses in this day and age, do we? Women are making money, getting educated and as far as kids go…she can adopt or even explore other options so she can have her own baby. What exactly does she NEED marriage for if not for a partnership in life’s ups and downs?
To take care of your parents? Get a maid…its cheaper, no shopping sprees, no problems, you can boss her around and she wont even talk back. Im actually quite serious about this because this could be the solution to your problems if you’re getting married so your wife can do khidmat of your parents. Im sure she will do khidmat but only SHE will get the sawab for it. Not YOU when its actually YOU that owe YOUR parents YOUR life.
Kids? Adopt or get a surrogate.