Re: What does Islam say?
Who said its important to live away Jay? Really, who said its important to sever yourself from his ailing and aging parents?
Personally, my only argument is the fact that her rights are her rights. And if she chooses to live with inlaws, great. But if not…why force her? Why tell someone how and with whom to live their life? Do you like being ordered around? Do you like being told what to do? Would you be okay if you had to live with your inlaws? What if things didnt go the way you liked while you were living with your inlaws? Would you at least want the support of your spouse? Would you at least look for some sort of acknowledgement that you’re trying but things arent working? Or would you prefer she act like its your job to suck it up and live with it because this is why she married you?
Oh. My. Lord.
Can you please highlight posts that say exactly that much? I would like to see how men process information and if certain words trigger the above response.
Okay, the idea behind it is simply that a relationship - ANY RELATIONSHIP - is a give and take. When you’re friends with someone, you give respect and take it. When you’re at work, you give respect to your colleagues and take it. If someone disrespects you…you dont stand there and enjoy it because its fun. You either retaliate or walk away because disrespect is wrong. Its a TWO-WAY street. If someone doesnt give you what you are giving them, things dont work.
Similarly, if you expect your wife to care for your parents…you NEED to extend the same courtesy to her. It doesnt make any sense - this weird servitude towards the inlaws - for women because they DO have parents of their own to care for. They arent orphaned when they get married to you and neither are they released from their responsibilities towards their own parents after marriage.
You cannot expect her to be your parents’ full time servant when you’re alive and healthy. Your parents didnt give birth to her, they gave birth to YOU. Unka haqq AAP pe hai…bahu pe nahin. When will you take time out of your day as a son to care for them? Your wife gets sawab for caring for your parents but that doesnt mean you are now exempt. The responsibility is YOURS and you get gunaah for NOT caring for them.