To the religious folks - If you are invited to a party/girl’s night or something of that sort where you know there will be drinking, probably no halal food, do you go? How do you turn down the invitations, if you don’t go? Be upfront or just make up an excuse like you have plans?
Re: What do you usually do?
Hmm...is it a restaurant, a house party, a club or a bar? What's the setting? If its a restaurant, you could go have some appetizers and then leave early by pleading a headache or some other excuse. It also depends on who invited you...a close friend, a colleague, etc
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i don't hang out with people who drink so never thought about it. i'll never go to such parties because i know where i've to draw the line. i'll politely decline.
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If it's at a restaurant or someone's house, I would go and stick to veggie/seafood. I would also leave early, so I don't have to smell alcohol in people's breath when they lean forward and try to talk over the background noise/music.
As a general rule, I turn down all club invites because I fear being dragged to the dance floor and being in close proximity with drunk dancers. How to do it politely? umm I usually just tell them (assuming it's a friend/coworker) straight up that I can't go because I'm not comfortable...and they understand. If it's my boss asking and the party is a business cocktail event at a club, then I would go for a bit and hoorah for shirley temple! =)
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a muslim friend of mine invited me to his bday. but at a non halal restaurant. i didnt go! i felt slightly insulted that despite knowing i eat only halal, he called me for his bday at a non halal place :S but well, up to him!
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Pretty much agree with what Reha and madz said. I would not make false excuses though. I'm quite upfront with people and let them know right from the start, that I won't drink alcohol and I won't eat Non-Halal food. That often generates interesting discussions as a lot of Goras don't even know the difference between Halal and Non-Halal.
Typical comment I would get: "I thought you guys just don't eat pork but any other meat is ok." and then I go "In principle that's correct, but the meat we eat has to be slaughtered a certain way and a prayer has to be recited at the time of slaughtering the animal." .......
Of course you also hear "But I know this Muslim dude and he drinks and eats pork too. Why don't you?" and then I go "Well, I take my religion seriously. Others don't." ......
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KKF, it has nothing to do with hanging out with people who drink or smoke. Most people in Western countries that are not Muslim do one or the other or both socially. Logon se chupke to nahin raha jasakta hai na?
There's nothing wrong with being firm in your beliefs...most non-Muslims respect that actually. I've worked for years in professional settings and you get these invites constantly at work. I don't really like going into my religion too much because its work and I have a strict policy against discussing these things at work.
Sometimes you go if you know you won't be in a sticky situation. Sometimes you don't because you're not comfortable with the activity being planned. Sometimes you really do just want to go home. Either way, tell them nicely that "I am not really a drinker...but how about we have lunch tomorrow afternoon or dinner Friday night at that new spot?"
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I dont' see what's wrong with going to a non-halal restaurant....you can just have seafood/veggie dishes no?
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I'm usually upfront about such stuff. I don't see any point in making up excuses because if such circumstances arise again and you keep making excuses, it will affect your personal credibility to some extent. I've yet to come across someone who has a problem with my personal choices because most people are usually accommodating.
Re: What do you usually do?
a muslim friend of mine invited me to his bday. but at a non halal restaurant. i didnt go! i felt slightly insulted that despite knowing i eat only halal, he called me for his bday at a non halal place :S but well, up to him!
Oh, I see your point. You're probably one of those who fear the kitchen staff might use the same utensils for meat and veggie dishes? hmm. Makes sense.
In my case, there is no halal food place near my work. So on days when I don't bring lunch, if I didn't eat at the nearby subway, Starbucks or pizza place, I wouldn't be able to eat at all. I believe Allah knows I made an effort to choose halal options but if the food gets accidentally contaminated by the servers, it isn't really my fault.
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Oh, I see your point. You're probably one of those who fear the kitchen staff might use the same utensils for meat and veggie dishes? hmm. Makes sense.
In my case, there is no halal food place near my work. So on days when I don't bring lunch, if I didn't eat at the nearby subway, Starbucks or pizza place, I wouldn't be able to eat at all. I believe Allah knows I made an effort to choose halal options but if the food gets accidentally contaminated by the servers, it isn't really my fault.
well see. when i was in the US, i didnt quite mind eating at restaurant that sell non halal meat. i would just eat the fish. initially i wasnt quite comfortable but my uncles and aunts and cousins did dine at american restaurants like Cheesecake factory, red lobster, bonefish and ordered only fish. so i got accustomed. i was ok with subway's tuna too after i told the servers to change their gloves.
but where i am living now, there are halal restaurants every where!!!!! fast food is halal, indian, chinese food is halal etc. i agree we may not have french or italian halal restaurants (my friend invited me to a italian restaurant) but kya zaroorat hai phir unhe patronize kerne ki if we have so many halal eateries. anyways, my friend is ok with eating non halal so its fine by him to dine anywhere.
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Unless you're vehemently opposed to even being around people who are drinking, you can attend the event and simply not drink. Just agree to be someone's designated driver, which is what I usually do, and people don't question you any further. Religion can be a touchy topic for some people but no one question's drinking and driving. If it's a house party there will be more than a few people who won't be drinking because they are the DD.
If you prefer not to even attend then simply tell them that you don't drink and that you wouldn't feel comfortable there.
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Or you can always go for the “I’m a pescatarian who is a recovering alcoholic” 
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Islamically speaking, try your best not to go to such meetings. Such meetings are obviously disliked by Allah, so you don't want to be in such a gathering. I know you won't be drinking, but you will be part of the gathering.
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I dont' see what's wrong with going to a non-halal restaurant....you can just have seafood/veggie dishes no?
Agreed, yes
But it kinda seems weird at a fancy restaurant when everyone is enjoying fine dining with expensive wine...and she is sitting there with her diet Coke lol.
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^ why would that be wierd? I've been to plenty of restaurants with friends and business associates , fine dining and casual, where they were drinking wine or cocktails and I had a glass of water or soft drink...there is nothing strange or uncomfortable about it.
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^ why would that be wierd? I've been to plenty of restaurants with friends and business associates , fine dining and casual, where they were drinking wine or cocktails and I had a glass of water or soft drink...there is nothing strange or uncomfortable about it.
Maybe to you it might not seem weird, or might not even be the same environment. I've been to business meetings or customer facing meetings some of which I have had to arrange for customer unit CEO's where the check comes to around $2-3k for a dinner of 3-4 people. What costs more than the food itself is drinks. And it is customary to have a toast to the beginning of the deal, it just seems weird to do it with water or soft drink etc...
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nothing wrong … as far as you know belly dance 
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I think then Partyslims has the best response “pescaterian who is a recovering alcoholic” 
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guilty as charged…