What do you say when someone asks how much you make?

Lifestyle Relationships
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Re: What do you say when someone asks how much you make?

hehe, are you free this Friday? aa jao. My sis has been craving bengian waffles. we three will have a blast.

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Re: What do you say when someone asks how much you make?

My children are asked all the time, and they respond with " I'm sorry, I hope you don't mind or I am not being being rude, , but discussing salary etc is a personal topic". 99.9% people shut up. My in laws / children's dadyaal/nanyaal are not privy to anyone's income details.

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Re: What do you say when someone asks how much you make?

So you shouldn't provide even a range to a person who will gossip. People who are afraid of her are making her persist in her behavior, they're encouraging her with their weakness and vague answers. Of course, she'll become vengeful if you're rude to her, but simply thank Allah for what you have and tell her it's personal matter restricted to immediate family. That's it. If she presses further, it makes her look like a child. Don't give her wiggle room. I gave you the example of my cousin, she backed off. Ninjamummy gave the same suggestion. A colleague of mine tends to respond with "Why do you feel the need to know?" which she says shuts people up. Or you can try saying Meri salary ka kisi ki zaat pe kya asar hona hai? Meray nazdeeq yeh personal maamla hai aur na main apni family k ilawa kisi se discuss karti hoon aur na main kisi ko poochti hoon. Is liye kisi aur aur topic pe baat karte hain. You're not being rude, you're being firm. Then quickly change topics, don't wait. In regards to the evil eye, the jealous person doesn't have to a actually say something for you to be afflicted by it. It can be transmitted silently without saying a word. It can be transmitted by a stranger too. It doesn't even have to be out of jealousy because a mother's admiration or nazar can affect her child. So avoiding the sharing of personal details with busy bodies such as your aunt is just a precaution; nor is weakness going to help; the actual protection for it is to recite Quls and make dua to Allah to remain safe.

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Re: What do you say when someone asks how much you make?

If you cannot think of the ideal response - say nothing. If I don't like what someone says to me and don't want a confrontation either - I just let their words hang in the air - no response.

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Re: What do you say when someone asks how much you make?

Just do what my cousin does....if she doesn't want to answer any question, she pretends to be deaf even if she is sitting right next to you but suddenly her hearing will come back if it's her matlab ki baat.... (I'm still trying to learn it :( )

Tbh, I would hardly be able to have a response in a similar situation but one can be prepared for future...... You need to stand up to these kind of irritating people an put a stop to it right in the beginning or be ready to answer being all smiley and polite......simply say, 'Aap ko kia bechainy hay' ( I seriously want to say this!!) but you can say 'Why are you asking?'.

And for the shopping.....I'll simply say 'I'm not taking you shopping' or 'I'll take you after you take me to shopping'....but second response I may never use as I would not like to see this kind of person again!

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Re: What do you say when someone asks how much you make?

now when someone asks me how much I make, I just say one hundred billion dollars ...delivered dr. evil style

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Re: What do you say when someone asks how much you make?

That is between me and my maker.

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Re: What do you say when someone asks how much you make?

I would say my worth does not rely on my income kyun ki main priceless hoon. actually to be honest i'd probably change the topic and be non confrontational. Or I would ask them random questions about their income, about their relatives to distract them

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Re: What do you say when someone asks how much you make?

I think my husband should come and give you tips on how to dodge such people off because 7 years into marriage and I have failed to get a proper answer on this very question about his earning from him yet :hehe:

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Re: What do you say when someone asks how much you make?

I would laugh and say "yeh to personal matter hain....sawain meray waaldain se, main apni salary kisi se discuss nahin karti hun" and leave it at that! They can't really ask you anything more after that.

Euuchh you gave them the range - I would feel bad even doing just that to nosy aunties. Nosy aunties don't deserve even a pinch of info into your life cus they'll just add masala to it and make a big story!

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Re: What do you say when someone asks how much you make?

seriously? :o

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Re: What do you say when someone asks how much you make?

No, I didn't give her a range. She did. I simply agreed to it to end the conversation.
For those of you who are suggesting changing the topic, I tried. It didn't work with her. She is very cunning. Even my mom feels cornered sometimes and doesn't know how to respond. Main to phir.

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Re: What do you say when someone asks how much you make?

Anya, that would be rude and that's not me. Besides, this kind of approach works with people more or less our age. But not so much with people who are a lot older.
When her daughter was interrogating me, she wouldn't let go either. Kept making suggestive remarks like Pakistan main toh is profession main itni earnings hoti hain, what about you, how much is it for you. I just responded with, yeah of course it is competitive here too and I started talking about Pakistan then and it worked.
I just wasn't expecting the mom to be so direct and persistent. She caught me off guard. I was serving tea so couldn't have left the room either. I did give her a stern look but she kept at it. I think next time I'll just use the direct, polite approach and tell her it is personal.

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Re: What do you say when someone asks how much you make?

I have seen people say "yaad nahin" we don't even see the check. Hard to believe but it does the trick. Actually in Pakistan no one minds this question and everyone asks and knows everyone's income. But in the West people are more civilized and mind their own business.

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Re: What do you say when someone asks how much you make?

^ I thought it was the other way round ?

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Re: What do you say when someone asks how much you make?

:smack:

Agreeing, whether verbally, or nodding of the head is basically providing her a range. Even if you agreed to an incorrect range guess of hers, you still provided a range. And she simply didn’t deserve it.

You can’t change the subject smoothly without first emphasizing that it’s a personal matter that won’t be discussed. THEN the changing subjects would reinforce your words and beliefs. This is why your changing of subjects was unsuccessful.

If you can’t tell her it’s personal, then how about putting the spotlight on her and say “Aunti main hairaan hoon k aap ne itna personal sawal poocha hai. Usually salaray jaisa personal matter to laug apnay risthtedaaron se bbi discuss nahi karte.”

This should SHAME her and put her in place, shut her up too. And after such a response, if she still presses you then tell her “Main apnay parents k ilawa kisi aur se salary discuss nahi karti. Agar aap ko itni hi curiosity hai to aap apni beti se kahain k woh har profession ki range Google par check kar k aap ko bataday.”

A nosy, gossipy woman will definitely gossip about you regardless of whether you satisfy her curiosity, or provide her only snippets, or remain mute. The only one to protect you from her nazar and her sharr is Allah and we’ve been told how to go about seeking this protection from Him. Don’t be so afraid of her. If she goes around venting to other auntis that Madz bahut badtameez larkii hai she didn’t tell me how much she makes…she’ll only paint a poor image of herself to them.

From now onwards, just tell her to google if it’s money related.

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Re: What do you say when someone asks how much you make?

^ Ok baba, ab jo ho gaya usay tu change nahi kar sakti na. I was caught off guard. Never expected anyone to approach me like this. In the future, I'll take a more direct and firm approach.

Thanks everyone for your comments. They were helpful.

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Re: What do you say when someone asks how much you make?

If u want to keep it light then u can say something like k aunty yay to secret hae Mae kisi Ko nahi batati hehe whatever. And otherwise if the person is still dheet then u can say nahi aunty yay seriously secret hae Mae kisi Ko nahi batati. Laikin waesay information k liyay is field Mae fresh graduate ki starting salary usually itni hoti hae Aur agar aapko Zada info chahiyay to google karain different websites Haen like payscale.com wagera wo kaafi achi info day daitay Haen blah blah. Aur aunty aap Apni beti ki shadi Kub kar rahi Haen, abhi say Rishtay dekhnay shoroo kar daen Warna boht mushkil hoti hae yahaan.

And btw the person who said she doesn't know how much her hubby makes???? Do ppl do that? Didn't u atleast know what his salary was when u married him cuz that's a pretty standard question in rishta interview.

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Re: What do you say when someone asks how much you make?

175000 y would I lie

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Re: What do you say when someone asks how much you make?

I'm so honored that someone appreciates my badtameez mizaaj.

So like I've said before, people like this don't listen to reason and don't pick up on hints. You HAVE to be direct and sometimes a bit rude for them to get the message. Start with just saying "Aunty, I really prefer not to discuss certain topics" to which she will reply "aray beta hum to family hain" and then you say "to phir meri pichli pachees saal ki eidi to de dain, family ki chachi".

Then for extra credit, round house kick her in the face.