I’ve noticed many of the women in my family (mum, sister, cousins, khalas, chachis, etc etc) don’t seem to take the names of their husbands! For the most part, they tend to say things like ‘sunne’, or ‘aap’ or call them what other people call them…so like for example, if my khala is talking about her husband to me, she would say ‘khaloo yeh kehte hain…’
I find that really weird! After so many years of marriage, how can you be embarrassed to say your husband’s name?!
I’ve made a vow that I’m gonna call my husband by his name! We only recently got engaged, and I haven’t had the chance to use it yet…but as anxious and nervous as I am, I’m definitely gonna make an opportunity to say his name as some point early in our relationship, to get that out the way!
Don’t wanna be calling him ‘aap’ for the rest of our lives…hehe
Well in this day & age I know it's very normal for a wife to call her hubby with his name, but ideally the fact is that jis ghar mein biwi apney shohar ko us k naam sey pukaray, us ghar mein barkat nahin parti.
Guriya where are you getting this 'barkat nahein parti' fact from?
Who comes up with this non-sense?
And the book that someone received... God knows which chauvinistic mullah was the author of that book!
There is nothing religiously, morally, or ethically wrong with saying your husbands name. Do what you feel comfortable with in your surroundings.
My mother never adresses my dad by his name, instead she uses aay-jee. No idea where she hype that from! Lol. Saying 'tum' is out of the question. My husband and I rarely communicate in Urdu but when we do, we both use aap. It's what we 've been comfortable with. I use his name and never thought of doing otherwise.
I find that desi people get so caught up in correcting these minuscule things that they lose the overall message. Both partners should show respect towards each other through the use of expressions, words, and actions. Saying merely 'Tum' or 'aap' doesn't signify respect.
To the OP, do what you are comfortable with and forget about all this barkat nonsense.
It's more to do with the respect element, since you wouldn't call your elders, parents & teachers with their name. The respect that a wife should show to her husband has been emphasized to such an extent that Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) said, If (it was permissible), I would have commanded the wife to bow down to their husband.? (Sunan Tirmidhi; this Hadith has been classified as authentic by Imaam Tirmidhi)
