…as a husband’s responsibility: frivolous purchases (i.e. luxuries) for his family (it should also be noted that they can easily afford these purchases themselves) OR paying his wife’s bills which she incurred before marriage, but is currently unable to pay because of leaving work and moving after marriage?? (yes, he knew about the bills before the marriage)
discuss
Re: What comes first....
tell husband to pay up or ship him to his momma's place! :)
Re: What comes first....
before you married, did u have a discussion and he promised to pay?
is he now backing out?
what reason does he have for not paying them, if he gives a reason at all?
why is the wife unable to work? is she looking, are there visa issues, etc?
does he pay for other household things? like rent, bills, groceries, electricity?
Re: What comes first....
....as a husband's responsibility: frivolous purchases (i.e. luxuries) for his family (it should also be noted that they can easily afford these purchases themselves) OR paying his wife's bills which she incurred before marriage, but is currently unable to pay because of leaving work and moving after marriage?? (yes, he knew about the bills before the marriage)
discuss
seem like you already made the case for Wife's bills with your wording so we know what kind of replies you would like/appreciate :)
Re: What comes first....
Why do you have to be so skeptical and cynical D6?
There are some guys who won't take care of their wives financially... I'm sorry if that's such a foreign concept for you.
seems like we forget that some threads we read for chaska, are another person's real life problems.
Re: What comes first…
he is a monster and not a real man for doing that…
let the games begin…
Re: What comes first....
did the wife know about husband having parents before marriage?
Re: What comes first....
Why do you have to be so skeptical and cynical D6?
There are some guys who won't take care of their wives financially... I'm sorry if that's such a foreign concept for you.
I am not skeptical. All I am saying is that question should not be that loaded. To me if guy is spending on his family or not is a bit irrelevant here. Whats relevant for me is the key detail if she told all this to the guy before or not (i.e that he has to take care of the bills or has to allow her to work)
and yes its sort of foreign concept for me as most of the people I know did take care of their wife's old bills/student loans or their wife worked to pay their bills.
seems like we forget that some threads we read for chaska, are another person's real life problems.
anything that someone cant get does not automatically become chaska. Dont you get form the wording used in OP's post that what is she expecting as answer?
Re: What comes first....
i agree with D6C....... just one more thread for some need for validation of preconcieved notions.
Re: What comes first....
Whatever bills the wife has due were made before marriage, I dont think the responsibility to pay them falls on the shoulders of the husband. The wife should have had a better foresight.
As a husband, a man has his duties towards his wife as much as his parents/family. In this particular situation, looks like husband is between the devil and the deep sea. I dont believe either of his expenditures are justifiable really. He should rather be wise and save for the future instead of blowing the money on the allalay talallay of his family back.
Re: What comes first....
Any debts incurred before marriage are really not the husband's responsibility. However, if they were those that happened during the course of the marriage, that's a different story.
With that being said though, if the husband truly does have the financial means to get rid of the debt with ease, he should do that.
Re: What comes first....
the wife should start working and pay for her bills..not shift this pre-marriage burden on the husband.
Re: What comes first....
i dont think any of wife's previous bills are husband's responsibility.
Re: What comes first....
Agree.. It's **not **the husband's responsibility to take care of the wife's bills from before marriage.. unless he is somehow the reason she can't pay them off herself..
Re: What comes first....
I think if the wife doesn't have a job and husband is willing to pay for the bills then why not? its not an obligation for sure but neither is cooking him a meal
Re: What comes first....
Agree.. It's **not **the husband's responsibility to take care of the wife's bills from before marriage.. unless he is somehow the reason she can't pay them off herself..
But you see, the OP can easily argue that she left her work/life for marriage, so he Is the reason she can't pay off her debt. That she was in a secure employment and making money, but the compromises that were made due to the fact that she was marrying him has put her in her present situation.
In which case, the husband should understand and offer to pay off her debt.
Re: What comes first....
^Yeah, if she had to leave work cos of him that's understandable..
Re: What comes first....
because of him or because of their marriage?
Re: What comes first....
Am i the only one who thinks it is the man's responsibility? Seriously if she my wife, her problems are my problems.
Re: What comes first....
Am i the only one who thinks it is the man's responsibility? Seriously if she my wife, her problems are my problems.
because North American culture is very individualistic. Everyone is responsible for themselves.
I realize it was **their **marriage but one of them had to move and leave their job clearly it was the woman. So, how is the husband going to deny that and not help out his OWN wife? When she starts working won't he expect all the money to go in one pot? If one isn't going to be sympathetic to their own wife then it's sad.