What are your thoughts on polygamous marriage/being a co-wife?

[PyariCgudia]

Re: What are your thoughts on polygamous marriage/being a co-wife?

@Balthier

In Pakistan, given the strong social stigma a divorce carries for a woman, she pretty much has two choices,

1. Become the doormat at her husband’s house, but still retain some form of social dignity.
2. Become the doormat at her parents/brother’s house, and carry the social stigma of being a divorcee. And not know whether she will ever be able to remarry, and if she does remarry, who knows what kind of proposal she’ll have to accept (perhaps of a widower with 3 to 4 children, where she is pretty much rendered a maid).

Where is the choice in any of this? I fail to see it. The few examples I do know of, involving polygamous relationships (in Pakistan), its very obvious that its been forced on the first wife. Why can’t we fight this social ill, which obviously partially cultivates misogyny, rather than condoning it, or saying that’s how it was done in the 7th century Arabia, and that’s how we need to implement it?

Why not concentrate on how it unfolds in practice, rather than concentrating on how its supposed to be in theory? No doubt this practice is very unfair on women.

I don’t think we can talk about marriages in Pakistan, especially paindoo village Pakistan, and compare it to the religious marriages we saw in early Islam. Mainly because the Pakistanis aren’t practicing Islam in the first place in their marriages.

In Islam

• a wife is not a doormat
• there is no social stigma of being a divorcee, religiously (we have done that to ourselves)
• Islamically women have a right to work and support themselves, Pakistan is moving this way, but careers are still somewhat limited for women. Pounded by a bad economy overall. So a muslim woman has every right to leave a marriage and not be a burden on anyone.
• brothers/fathers should support the women in their families, including divorcees

So basic Islamic concepts are not being adhered to. How would polygamy possibly not get abused in Pakistan then?