I am going to have my wife box. That will be cool.
Not when u land urself in an argument!
I dont agree with that, at least not in all cases. Sometimes, its a great comfort to both the husband and the wife that if something happens to the husband, the wife would be able to earn a good living for herself and any children without having to rely on other family or a new husband for support.
I find it is VERY diffucult for women to find GOOD professional jobs if they don't keep their skills updated while at home. Their degrees are wasted because they lack experience for the last 5-10 years.
Employers want hands on experience and updated skills. It is very difficult for woman to replicate the type of earning that their husband provide because they have not been away for the job market for so long.
"most of these men marry with professionals just to have "professional wife" as a feather in their cap or a badge on their pocket and nothing else on the other hand I do know many professionally educated girls saying "yaar main tu aaram karoon kee/ker rahee hoon ...kis zarorat hai ________ is getting paid well" "
---100% agree
My mom did her Master's in Pakistan, stayed home to raise us kids from 1984-2006 (22 years). We were all teenagers by 96, so she def could've started work but my dad was always like "nahi bache avara ho jayenge"...."kya zaroorat hai do tukkay ki job karne ki"..."yeh sari third class jobein hain", etc. So my mom got discouraged and she just stayed home from 1996 to 2006. Before I used to agree with my dad...now I realize he was trying to control her.
Now my mom is working in a school and she doesnt make a lot but she is very happy. My dad says he is happy too, but I've noticed whenever my brothers ask for money, he says to ask my mom. Today my brother was asking for something and my mom told him to wait until Friday, because her account has $40 only. My mom felt bad and said to my dad "jaan please give him the money, i will pay you back" and my dad said very seriously "nahi maine to abhi 300 qurbani k paisay di hain, you guys figure it out"....btw my dad makes almost 8k a month...and he is the type of guy who will give $1000 at my friend's wedding but he cant give 200 to his own son.
One day I said to the whole living room that it's not fair that all of us are mooching off my mom...we are all saving our earnings and she is spending 100%...didn't we walk over her enough?And my mom is just like "nahi beta, mein tum logon kay liay sub kuch karti hoon" and my dad was like "oh she was living rent free all these years and if it wasn't for me, you all would have been living like dogs in the street". I hate how my dad acts like he does a big favor....i am grateful to not have to pay rent, but i am more grateful to my mom....she has never put us kids down, in fact, she always says that she is lucky that we are her kids! Anyway it's pointless to say anything more to my dad...he knows what he's doing and if i blatantly point it out, he will just throw his credit card on someone's face.
So in my case, my dad is 100% supportive of me and my sister getting educated,and he says my mom can do whatever she wants...but then he acts really mean just cuz my mom is making $14/hr.
Re: What are the professions which you......
^ my dad totally opposite - always encouraged her mom to do more. She wanted to get an hourly job and he was like you have more potential than that. She was a doc in pakistan. She used to be like "bachay chotay hai" - so he would pitch in to help around the house while we were teenagers so she could complete her studies and finally started her practice.
Funny - my husband the same way. I WISH he was like why don't stay at home and relax. :)
No i am kidding - mA I know I am very lucky!
how about you name some of those places?
I smell "getting ready to fight" here?
Since you all know I was raised in pak. women from my family were teachers or doctors. (of course mostly hose wives)
I have seen them having very strong connection with other women.
So I will actually support my wife to work close to women. In a way if we go/move to pakistan she can become an asset for pakistan.
For example there are jobs at with women are excellent, we guys can't even see those things which are known fact to women.
Like this woman(older) I always talk to use to run adaptation agency, I mean If I win lottery I will set her up an agency on pakistan.
So she can teach ppl there process of safe(specially for kids) adoption.
I will rather have my wife do that , then(no offence ) wearing tight pants showing cleavage in order to get business from men.
I doubt If she would be able to hit me:boxer:, I move fast you know…
I will rather have my wife do that , then(no offence ) wearing tight pants showing cleavage in order to get business from men.
just Curious - what type of job has what you mentioned above as job requirements or part of a job description?
customer service has always been a no no in my family.i tend to agree unless there is a crisis.
Re: What are the professions which you......
Theoretically none.
we not talking requirement here(at least not me), We are talking about women's state of mind.
If they want to be real asset to society.
Not treating work as u know... things I can't do at home I could do at work..
And that is just me, I am/can not make/making it rule for every one.
customer service has always been a no no in my family.i tend to agree unless there is a crisis.
Thank you!
Re: What are the professions which you......
My parents were totally against me becoming a primary school teacher =/ they were like no, kids nowadays dont give teachers the respect they deserve. Going for Uni lecturing instead now (inshalla).
Re: What are the professions which you......
^i can see their point. but it can be a rewarding career on the other hand.
I find it is VERY diffucult for women to find GOOD professional jobs if they don't keep their skills updated while at home. Their degrees are wasted because they lack experience for the last 5-10 years.
Employers want hands on experience and updated skills. It is very difficult for woman to replicate the type of earning that their husband provide because they have not been away for the job market for so long.
IDK, Njgal....I have over 10 years experience and a BS degree and I agree that theres no way I'd come close to the salary that I previously earned. Yet even if I went in as entry-level again, I'd be making a salary that would be decent enough that I'd be able to support myself and my kids...of course, it would not be the same lifestyle that we now enjoy. But I'd also not have to frantically search for a new husband or move in with relatives. Thats the thing here.
most of these men marry with professionals just to have "professional wife" as a feather in their cap or a badge on their pocket and nothing else on the other hand I do know many professionally educated girls saying "yaar main tu aaram karoon kee/ker rahee hoon ...kis zarorat hai ________ is getting paid well"
Agree completely. I have seen many cases like that.
Off course not in ALL families.
The in-laws also like to show-off their Bahu is professional even though she ends up being a housewife and mom. Not that anything wrong with that.
On the other hand , some women once married, get the husband of good stature just find it easy to relax and don't want to think of using professional talent despite epending so much time, effort and parent's money. In a way finding a way to get married in a good family. The degree just stays in the closet or drawer. Sorry for being so open.
Imagine someone goes to medical school, or enginnering university etc. etc.
Taken someone else's place or seat and not using the talent???
Someone else could have used that spot and had made better use of the talent. That is something to think about.
My parents were totally against me becoming a primary school teacher =/ they were like no, kids nowadays dont give teachers the respect they deserve. Going for Uni lecturing instead now (inshalla).
You have to make them or teach them respect you like you have to your children.
I dont agree with that, at least not in all cases. Sometimes, its a great comfort to both the husband and the wife that if something happens to the husband, the wife would be able to earn a good living for herself and any children without having to rely on other family or a new husband for support.
Sure. If thats the thinking.
But it requires few conditions:
1-Something has to happen to husband God-forbid to have wife go out and work.
2- By the time that happens, she may not be able to go back to her profession due to time lag or lack of being in contact with her profession.
3- She may just not be able to work due to demands from the kids. The situstion may be that the husband has some problem and not only him but the kids need her too. Difficult for her to go out and be the bread winner specially it happens without prior anticipation and planning.
Re: What are the professions which you......
why do you ask?
1-Something has to happen to husband God-forbid to have wife go out and work.
load of rubbish.
Mama: I totally agree with you. There are certain insecurities such as what if something happens to dear hubby then what?
Why be at mercy of others when you can stand up on your own!
Also, lets say if hubby is sick for sometime and needs a break - we can certainly assist him if we have a job with insurance - rt!?
It makes me feel secure.
For that she has to stay in touch with her profession or talent thats all.
I let my wife always stayed in touch in her profession just as you mentioned and my point always was that what if something happens to me?
Besides she had spent her parents money / her efforts/time/energy to earn something so why let that go? (With the grace of Allah, we are more than fine if I only work and she spends money at shopping mall every weekend..meaning its not that her earning is essential)
load of rubbish.
Point is that if you wait for something happens to him then it might be too late. Don't wait till it happens and just be prepared if you have talent.
Whats so rubbish about that?