I had started a topic regarding my in laws reactions to gifts and how it had bothered me. Well, without repeating the content of that thread, i realized many people had different approach when it came to keeping up with relationships.
Now my question/debate is…
What are the factors that would you lead to end/doubt a relationship.
What are the points you are ready to compromise and what are the points for which you would not waste a minute to leave.
Please state your relationship status and the limits you wish will never be crossed in that status.
I am engaged, and for me the deal breaker would be:
-Disrespect of me or my parents from my fiance
-disloyality
Re: what are the factors that would lead you to end a relationship
What are the factors that would you lead to end/doubt a relationship - A major difference in values, lying, infidelity, hostility or difficulties from the other side
**
What are the points you are ready to compromise and what are the points for which you would not waste a minute to leave -** Would happily compromise on minor differences, giving up holidays and other material things if we needed to, wouldn't compromise on our living situation because it's something that would affect me day in and day out plus the things mentioned above..
**
Please state your relationship status and the limits you wish will never be crossed in that status -** Married (but to someone from a different culture)..
Re: what are the factors that would lead you to end a relationship
This question is multifaceted...the same answers won't apply now that I'm married that would when I was engaged or single....
So right now, my dealbreakers would be: Infidelity, Domestic Violence/physical abuse
Before I got married though, I would have called off the engagement if I had sensed that our outlooks on how we practice religion, views on money/finances, visions on how we wanted to raise our children, responsibilities towards our families and other life goals were different or conflicting.
Re: what are the factors that would lead you to end a relationship
Yeah we are all conspiring against you. I mean it’s not as if people have better things to do
And your second comment is as nugatory as your first one. But if you want an answer, yes I would rather choose my parents’ preference over my dog’s. Doesn’t make me less of a male.
Re: what are the factors that would lead you to end a relationship
What are the factors that would you lead to end/doubt a relationship.
cheating, lying (about major things), disrespecting me, or living in joint family system ( i will not be able to survive in one).
[quote]
What are the points you are ready to compromise and what are the points for which you would not waste a minute to leave.
[/quote]
he is not as romantic as i would like him to be, but I can compromise on that as long as he loves me and does other things to make up for that.
[quote]
Please state your relationship status and the limits you wish will never be crossed in that status.
I am engaged, and for me the deal breaker would be:
-Disrespect of me or my parents from my fiance
-disloyality
[/quote]
im married. if he ever cheats on me, it's over. if he disrespects me or my family, i cannot deal with that either. if he lets his family disrespect me and not stand up for me, it's over. I am not worried about him making me live in any form of joint family system as he's not pakistani or desi and these things rarely exist outside our own culture.
i was once engaged to a guy who didn't stand up for me when his mother would always criticize me, so i had to leave him. cannot deal with a man who cannot protect his woman.
Re: what are the factors that would lead you to end a relationship
What are the factors that would you lead to end/doubt a relationship - A major difference in values, lying, infidelity, hostility or difficulties from the other side
**
What are the points you are ready to compromise and what are the points for which you would not waste a minute to leave -** Would happily compromise on minor differences, giving up holidays and other material things if we needed to, wouldn't compromise on our living situation because it's something that would affect me day in and day out plus the things mentioned above..
**
Please state your relationship status and the limits you wish will never be crossed in that status -** Married (but to someone from a different culture)..
Different culture means different religion ? I have one such example around here from india, and they used this word, so thats why asking
Re: what are the factors that would lead you to end a relationship
Engaged :)
If he ever cheated on me, I'd give him one chance and if he did it again, its over. Also, if he doesn't respect me in front of others or talks bad about me in front of his parents or tells people about our problems, its over. We could be going through hell, but he should make others think we're living in heaven together. If he can't stand up for me, I'd be mad but its not a dealbreaker.
Re: what are the factors that would lead you to end a relationship
I don't know na I guess it will depend on the circumstances and my extent of relationship had been. Some time people amaze themselves with the tolerance/compromise they show.
But as Puchi Kuchi said, if somebody changes their beliefs then it's going to be a dead end for me logically as a muslim women can't stay married to a non muslim.
Re: what are the factors that would lead you to end a relationship
Engaged :)
If he ever cheated on me, I'd give him one chance and if he did it again, its over. Also, if he doesn't respect me in front of others or talks bad about me in front of his parents or tells people about our problems, its over. We could be going through hell, but he should make others think we're living in heaven together. If he can't stand up for me, I'd be mad but its not a dealbreaker.
I would make sure he doesnt know that you might forgive him...
Re: what are the factors that would lead you to end a relationship
Deal breaker: If she does not cook Biryani for 2 consecutive weeks
Compromise: I'll compromise on weather its a chicken biryani, mutton or beef and if rice used a Koh-e-noor rice or Zebra Rice
Status: last seen at home some 7 days ago.
PS: on serious note, when you compromise, you have to evaluate other side of the equation too. What do you get out of it (and what you wont). At different times, equation are different. Personally, I can easily count my deal-breakers on my fingers of 1 hand.
Re: what are the factors that would lead you to end a relationship
I'm engaged so sure as hell I can't tell what breaks a marriage. Marriage is much more serious than an engagement. I have no legal relationship. However I'd like to be legally linked.
For me in my 7 years almost mashAllah. We together have been through enough. There are two-sides of every sorry so wesshould analysis what went wrong. But infidelity indefinitely on the top. As far as haram habits are concerned. I will not tolerate them but no I won't immediately leave I'd let him know that it's not acceptable so he can choose.
Family's disrespect.. I think we should not bring family in between our fights. I confess we have in major anger and both later apologized but. Never parents or siblings.
Keeping a relationship is tough and after so long I feel married to him already.
I've thought about leaving him on our very low points.. But after being cooled off I realised there maybe be cons. But pros are too many. Regardless of what happens. I know he's my home. I know he will be my shelter. He will be there for me.
I repeat I'm not married and hope I'm not delusional.
