What age did you get engaged/married?

Sammii · October 3, 2012, 6:48am

Re: What age did you get engaged/married?

Should the Pakistan military be reformed on the orders of the US?

being unmarried in your late 20s isn’t a death sentence! the cycle has to break somewhere so how about girls do it first? stop putting up with ridiculous demands and feeling bad about yourselves because you’re not gori/lambi/patli/doctor/whatever. go out and get a life for yourself! use your brains, get a career, enroll in a masters program, travel, meet people- DO SOMETHING. don’t just sit around at home feeling like the world is ending because someone’s mother hasn’t come along and given you her stamp of approval. seriously. its 2012, ladies, step up to the plate! the right guy will come along when he’s meant to, so stop fretting and worrying and stressing about it. live your life. that’s what you’ll regret not doing when you’re 75, not that you didn’t get married until you were 30.

Exactly my point. i never made being unmarried an issue and neither did my sister. To be unmarried and in our very late twenties didn’t faze us .If it did we would probably get married to any Tom, Dick or Harry as soon as we could. We didn’t.

i feel marriage is over-rated. My sister being rukhsati-ofied ( if that’s a word) feels the same. This, however does not mean that i am undervaluing marriage in any way because that is a beautiful journey of it’s own, but a single journey is not bad either.

I think females in our society need to understand that being unmarried is not the end of the world. It’s all good if marriage has not happened as yet because there is so much you can do with your life, which probably marriage would limit you with.

I would like to clarify that by highlighting the “shallow” standards of society, i am not indicating in any way that girls feel sorry for themselves because honestly they don’t and just thank Allah that they didn’t get trapped in such myopic mindsets and families.

We do need to acknowledge that some people belittle a family and the girl’s family’s emotions and that is not justified in any way.

I know of a guy who was committed to a girl but still kept sending his mom to see different families and girls because he wanted to see the “market” out there and see if he was making the right decision by sticking to his girl.

So, yes amazingly low people exist and by highlighting their double standards, no one is saying that a girl feels sorry for her self but is strong enough to say: This is wrong and unacceptable.

On another tangent, i just met a young girl who just did her MBA but her mom is not allowing her to work and keeps on lamenting 24/7 how she is not married as yet. So there are internal pressures at work as well, and not every girl is a rebel.

I agree with SGC that marriage should not be the sole aim of life. Embrace yourself and be happy with yourself. That “happiness” will come from within , when you learn to accept yourself and your life.

I leave you with some personal favourite blogs on this issue.

Chasing Life

and

The Shadi Manifesto

and

Marriage and the D Word

which echoe my sentiments.

Cheers.