Love of the Ahlul Bayt (as) is a demand by Allah (swt) in Quran (42:23) hence its a duty to me. When Allah (swt) ordered Rasool Allah (saww) to bring his "sons" to the ground of Mubahila (3:61), it was Imam Hassan and Imam Hussain who came along Rasool Allah (saww).
I agree that some people go to extreme and do acts such as shedding blood etc. These people could use their blood for more useful purpose, e.g. donate blood or feed the poor etc.
Very well put Ramesha. You have put the debate in perspective. The Ummah can unite on this point of the love for Ahl-e-Bayt.
How each individual or group expresses their love and devotion is between them and God.
Cheers