Western guys getting an imported wife - examples

Lifestyle Relationships
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Does any woman here have any guy in their family who imported a wife from Pakistan?

What were the reasons?

How has the experience been?

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Re: Western guys getting an imported wife - examples

My brother did. The marriage lasted only 2 month once she reached the US (1.2 years total). She had lied to my brother abt everything ...even basic stuff such us doing house work, taking care of the bills, getting her driver license etc... my brother said he couldn't trust her. Instead of working on the marriage...both my brother and the ex sil gave up ( the ex wanted money, 10K to be exact and to make sure she was able to become a US citizen...thats when our family backed off and let them divorce.

I blame my brother for this, but my ex sil's motives came out very quickly.

second ex: my childhood friend was a imported bride. Has been married for 2 years, and been in the US for 1-.5 years. The marriage has been a struggle for her and her husband as well. A lot of issues, they are headed for a divorce too.

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Re: Western guys getting an imported wife - examples

My 2nd cousin did. His wife is Mashallah very smart. They are doing just fine. They have the cutest kid together.

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Re: Western guys getting an imported wife - examples

Did you find Allah while you were in exile?

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Re: Western guys getting an imported wife - examples

^I don't know about that but I like saying Mashallah. Aadat hai bhai..

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Re: Western guys getting an imported wife - examples

My first cousin in North America recent got married to a girl from pakistan. I feel very sorry for the girl me and husband took them out for dinner and both left with our mouths wide open she is extremely conservative and shy and innocent and quiet and infront of her he looks like a complete idiot talking about his very western , millions of friends who are girls, out till 3am, boys beach vacations lifestyle. Im actually sad for her right now and feel like smacking my cousin in the face.

None of what my cousin does is wrong by western standards but to a girl who has never spoken to a boy in her life before apart from her brother and cousins its just a massive shock.

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Re: Western guys getting an imported wife - examples

2 example

1- AWFUL - End in divorce
2- AWESOME - Beautiful relationship with a kid

Pick and choose your fav!

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Re: Western guys getting an imported wife - examples

It all depends on compatibility, if only desi parents realised that. There is no harm in "importing" a girl or for that matter a guy. But you need to match up correctly. @Inspiron in your cousins case, I bet his mum would have thought that a seedhi girl like her will be able to either get her son on the right path or will never complain about.

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Re: Western guys getting an imported wife - examples

My bro and both my mamoos 'imported' their wives. All of them are happily married since 10, 16 and 20 yrs respectively. My mum
was the one in charge of all 3 marriages. She picked girls from outside the khandaan where she felt values and morals matched. All couples met each other on their nikkah day :D. It works when its meant to work by Him swt. The experience has been very good. All 3 couldnt have gotten better matches.

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Re: Western guys getting an imported wife - examples

I am an imported wife and happily married for 10 years, never started a Life 1 thread about my husband or in laws :)

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Re: Western guys getting an imported wife - examples

Yes my cousins wife makes a fantastic bahu to very pakistani old fashioned parents but right now not very compatible to my cousin. Face palm.

Im sure everything in the end will be fine.

Like said above its the compatibility bit which is important not the imported bit. Being imported makes it harder to be compatible

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Re: Western guys getting an imported wife - examples

I know 3 examples:

  • The brother of a friend of mine married a girl from Pakistan via the arranged marriage route. It ended rather badly as the wife had sky high expectations and apparently had the curious idea that the streets in Britain are paved with gold and that life is rather easy here. She was constantly whinging that "back home I had xyz thing..." or "I didn't leave my family to do xyz thing here..." and that was a constant source of tension. She was also rather manipulative and had a tendency for theatrics/emotional blackmail, which he was not accustomed to and did not have the patience for. It basically ended in divorce with loads of drama.

  • The son of a family friend of ours married a girl from back home (not Pakistan) a couple of years ago. The girl was someone he was introduced to at a family gathering while visiting over the summer. It was semi-arranged in that he was introduced to the girl by a cousin and it went on from there. He and his wife are quite similar in personality and overall goals, so they get on very well. I believe she’s currently studying to re-qualify here as an anesthesiologist or something of that sort. They seem to be doing fine and don't have any sort of drama.

  • My husband's friend in Holland married a girl from back home (not Pakistan either) that he met while visiting family there and they seem to be doing quite well. They were engaged for the longest time though on account of immigration issues (as Holland makes it rather difficult to bring over a spouse from abroad) and had quite a bit of time to get to know each other prior to getting married. She's was a doctor back home and is currently going to school and studying to take the equivalency exams. She doesn't seem to have any adjustment issues and they seem to get on nicely.

My observation has been that such marriages can work out if both of the parties involved are on the same page and have similar values, goals, and expectations. The issues seem to arise when someone from a western country marries someone from abroad who is drastically different from themselves and is someone that they would have never even given a second glance to under normal circumstances (ie. if they had met that person in their own country).

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Re: Western guys getting an imported wife - examples

you people answered only "how the expereince has been'"

please also'' mention teh reason''

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Re: Western guys getting an imported wife - examples

^In the examples I gave, the reasons were:

  • In the first example, the guy went the arranged marriage route. He married a girl from "back home" as his parents quite liked her and had heard positive things about her. Apparently, the she was a doctor back home, so his parents figured that they would get on well as the guy is a doctor here and that she would be more understanding of the long hours and stress of the job. I'm not certain why they began looking "back home" in the first place though.

  • In the last two examples, there wasn't any particular reason for it. It rather worked out that way on its own. The guys involved weren't really looking to get married at the time but happened to meet someone they got on with and decided to go for it.

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Re: Western guys getting an imported wife - examples

Yes, my brother did.

Married for 8.5 years now, Mashallah with two kids.

No real reason. Just fell in love...?

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Re: Western guys getting an imported wife - examples

You may have to decode that for desis. They may not get the concept of love.

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Re: Western guys getting an imported wife - examples

^ lmao

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LOL.

Too easy.

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Re: Western guys getting an imported wife - examples

My first cousin. agreed to girl from back home due to mother's pressure. Marriage lasted 3 years , ended due to incompatibility of sorts.

My best friend's brother, had a rangeen life with lots of girls in the UK , lost trust and decided to marry a passive girl from Pakistan. Marriage going strong since 6 years.

My father's second cousin, decided to get married a third time after two failed marriages. Got a girl from a village in Pakistan , 18 years younger ! the girl is compromising coz her parents insisted she cant ever return back to them . Marriage completes 5 years in another month.

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Re: Western guys getting an imported wife - examples

At bold, :(

How could her family do that to her.

Why don't mothers learn that a marriage can't be started with pressure.