Or did you say qubool hai just because people around you were pushing you to get married? Are you happily married, or do you regret getting married (either because you cant get along with your spouse or because you miss your single life)?
If you werent ready for marriage in the first place, why was it so? Was it because you couldnt find what you were looking for, or because you werent done being single, or because you had some other goals in mind you wanted to achieve before getting married (another degree, a better job, a house, etc) or some other reason?
And has it happened with any of you that you reluctantly said yes to a rishta, got married or engaged, and fell for someone after that?
Re: Were you ready for marriage when you got married?
yaar apna to seedha sa formula hai do it by heart or leave it at once. simple tension lene ka nahi dene ka is liye i m still single ... yahoooooooooooooooooo azaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad no catches nothing .. i can breath with my own will.
Re: Were you ready for marriage when you got married?
That's a interesting question. I'd like to know as well.
I'm nikkahfied to the love of my life I should say.. I've been with him for 8 years. Before my nikkah I freaked out.. Cried for days didn't eat.. Depressed. I believe it was because of the image of marriage in our society.
From where I've seen it once you're married your life is over. Your decisions are made by in laws. You need to ask them for everything while the guy freely gets on with his life.
These were my fears. Been nikkahfied for 1 year and few months. It wasn't bad... But not having the time of my life at the moment. I think the couple should be left alone with no interference.
Re: Were you ready for marriage when you got married?
That's a interesting question. I'd like to know as well.
I'm nikkahfied to the love of my life I should say.. I've been with him for 8 years. Before my nikkah I freaked out.. Cried for days didn't eat.. Depressed. I believe it was because of the image of marriage in our society.
From where I've seen it once you're married your life is over. Your decisions are made by in laws. You need to ask them for everything while the guy freely gets on with his life.
These were my fears. Been nikkahfied for 1 year and few months. It wasn't bad... But not having the time of my life at the moment. I think the couple should be left alone with no interference.
Thats what bothers me, that life, as I know it, will end after marriage. Not sure if I want that.
Re: Were you ready for marriage when you got married?
Join the club.. Im losing my life in 3.5 months. I'm terrified. Read my other post. I can't even make my room look the way I want. Let's not talk about the big things. I'm so so scared they'll have an issue with that if they don't want me changing sofas and curtains. I wish I had a better reply for you. When are you getting married or due to answer?
Re: Were you ready for marriage when you got married?
I'll tell you what my mom told me when I told her I never want to get married.. She told me that in few years my sister would be married.. My friends (half of em are already married)
And id be the loner.. Without family. No one would keep me in their home ( like siblings since parents won't be here forever) so one needs a family.. So say yes to the guy you think you'll be best with.
I tried to make a good decision. I hope it is. We'll know soon enough.
Re: Were you ready for marriage when you got married?
I'll tell you what my mom told me when I told her I never want to get married.. She told me that in few years my sister would be married.. My friends (half of em are already married)
And id be the loner.. Without family. No one would keep me in their home ( like siblings since parents won't be here forever) so one needs a family.. So say yes to the guy you think you'll be best with.
I tried to make a good decision. I hope it is. We'll know soon enough.
I am not against the idea of marriage. Marriage is sunnah. I am just scared about getting stuck with the wrong person. And in Pakistan if you get stuck with the wrong person, you are done.
Re: Were you ready for marriage when you got married?
Yes I was ready when I got married. I obviously used to get sad sometimes about leaving my family and quitting my job and moving far away. The sadness was mainly caused by uncertainty and anxiety about how unpredictable my future was. But I made the decision with my brain as well as my heart. I think many women just go with what their heart tells them ("He's good looking and rich, I should marry him". Or "I am having a bad feeling about this, but I don't want to disappoint my parents").
At this crucial time, think with your brain and don't give a crap about emotions. Be selfish. Think about your future and whether you'll be happy or not. Stop thinking about other people's feelings for a moment, they'll be out of the picture in a few years and you have to spend the rest of your life with this man. Also, if you end up having kids, their lives and personalities are also affected when their parents are in an unhappy marriage.
Yes I was ready when I got married. Yes I'm happily married. No, I don't miss my single life because I didn't have any friends and my parents wouldn't let me stay out late with even my sister or my cousins. My married life is like many people's single life. We travel a lot and we're best friends.
The only time we used to get into arguments is when his mom interfered with some drama that is always so over the top and exaggerated that it's comical. You just have to be patient with in laws. I've learned to ignore even the most irritating crap and don't argue with them. It's their desi nature to interfere in their adult children's lives. I just do my own thing and don't care what anyone else says.
The most important thing is that you get along with your husband. If you two have a strong bond, you'll get through everything. And there's no rule out there that your marriage needs to be boring. Go out and have fun, go hiking, eat street food, play videogames together. Who's stopping you from making your married life even better than your single life?
Re: Were you ready for marriage when you got married?
Its hard to say I was ready for shadi- but I was as ready as I could have been. I had been engaged for 2 years prior to the wedding and knew my husband at work for a year prior to engagement. And I actually got married with a lot of aprehensions from my side. Alhamdulillah this has been the best decision ever! My husband and I are best friends, we love being silly with each other and keep ourselves entertained.
I'm definitely one who said yes reluctantly to engagement, got very annoyed during the engagement period and almost ended everything multiple times. I never thought i'd fall in love, let alone with the person I was ready to break all ties with. But Alhamdulillah everything got straightened out after the wedding! So stay optimistic, and keep praying for a good married life iA!
