Re: Were you ready for marriage when you got married?
I dont think you can ever be 100% ready for marriage.
You never know until you live with your partner. Seeing and speaking to someone on a daily basis and living with the same person with a marriage as bond are two different things
Re: Were you ready for marriage when you got married?
That's a interesting question. I'd like to know as well. I'm nikkahfied to the love of my life I should say.. I've been with him for 8 years. Before my nikkah I freaked out.. Cried for days didn't eat.. Depressed. I believe it was because of the image of marriage in our society. From where I've seen it once you're married your life is over. Your decisions are made by in laws. You need to ask them for everything while the guy freely gets on with his life. These were my fears. Been nikkahfied for 1 year and few months. It wasn't bad... But not having the time of my life at the moment. I think the couple should be left alone with no interference.
Left alone sure but then what do you do during family holidays? Like Eid and events where other family members are needed. Parents are important in our lives too.
I don't know how many relationships i've seen where adultery or abuse is involved. I'm pretty sure those women also saw their significant others as the greatest loves of their life but when they find out that person is abusive or unfaithful, that grand love comes crashing down. At that time we need our family and friends just for company and caring.
Re: Were you ready for marriage when you got married?
No no family is extremely important. I'm all for family.. But I don't want anyone to interfere in personal decisions.. Like if me or my husband are alright with something and my mil comes and tells my husband this is not how he should be. Or my family comes in and tells my husband to be a certain way.. From my post engagement and nikkah experience I've realised it's best if you let the couple decide their own boundaries.
Re: Were you ready for marriage when you got married?
Yes I was ready when I got married. I obviously used to get sad sometimes about leaving my family and quitting my job and moving far away. The sadness was mainly caused by uncertainty and anxiety about how unpredictable my future was. But I made the decision with my brain as well as my heart. I think many women just go with what their heart tells them ("He's good looking and rich, I should marry him". Or "I am having a bad feeling about this, but I don't want to disappoint my parents").
At this crucial time, think with your brain and don't give a crap about emotions. Be selfish. Think about your future and whether you'll be happy or not. Stop thinking about other people's feelings for a moment, they'll be out of the picture in a few years and you have to spend the rest of your life with this man. Also, if you end up having kids, their lives and personalities are also affected when their parents are in an unhappy marriage.
Yes I was ready when I got married. Yes I'm happily married. No, I don't miss my single life because I didn't have any friends and my parents wouldn't let me stay out late with even my sister or my cousins. My married life is like many people's single life. We travel a lot and we're best friends. The only time we used to get into arguments is when his mom interfered with some drama that is always so over the top and exaggerated that it's comical. You just have to be patient with in laws. I've learned to ignore even the most irritating crap and don't argue with them. It's their desi nature to interfere in their adult children's lives. I just do my own thing and don't care what anyone else says.
The most important thing is that you get along with your husband. If you two have a strong bond, you'll get through everything. And there's no rule out there that your marriage needs to be boring. Go out and have fun, go hiking, eat street food, play videogames together. Who's stopping you from making your married life even better than your single life?
Mash Allah. I'm so happy for you. May Allah bless you both.
How do you become your husbands friend? I've spent alot of time with my husband. We do alot of things Together but I'm not sure if I'm the person he'll come running to. Since I'm now having my rukhsati it would be helpful
Re: Were you ready for marriage when you got married?
No no family is extremely important. I'm all for family.. But I don't want anyone to interfere in personal decisions.. Like if me or my husband are alright with something and my mil comes and tells my husband this is not how he should be. Or my family comes in and tells my husband to be a certain way.. From my post engagement and nikkah experience I've realised it's best if you let the couple decide their own boundaries.
Okay then i misunderstood. Yeah of course relationship issues are only the two people's business and no one else's
Re: Were you ready for marriage when you got married?
I thought I was and that it hit me.....but i wont change it