The whole wedding hoopla becomes and ISSUE when there's competition involved (trying to outdo your cousin/friend's wedding even if you can't afford it). That's where the problem lies, when one wants to be extravagant to show off or to one up the last person.
However, I don't see anything wrong with the bride and groom wanting to arrange their wedding in the way that they've always dreamed it to be. Some like it simple, some like it more involved.
As far as guests who make snotty remarks about how the food was cooked, or how the cards looked, or how the clothes looked........let's be HONEST **here, we **ALL do it. Some of us may not make comments in a nasty way or tone and we have the common sense not to make these comments to the bride and her family's face.......but we do share our personal opinions in a more appropriate place or privately.
Everyone will have opinions. If we're going to get upset about arranging weddings JUST BECAUSE we fear the opinions of others, let's not forget that people will also have opinions about what we wear and how we do things in OTHER SITUATIONS as well. People will comment about your clothes and food if you were to simply hold a get-together at your home. You can't control them, so don't worry about them. Fulfill your dreams with sincere intentions and to only please yourself as opposed to outdoing others. A wedding, for most people, is a one-time and memorable occasion.
As far as opinions are concerned, since we ALL have them, it's best to display tact. If you don't have something nice to say, be smart it enough not to say it to the host's face.