Re: weddings are overrated
i'd prefer to have a simple wedding and spend that extra money as a couple
rather than wasting it on trashy people who only come for the food
Re: weddings are overrated
You just need to strike a balance. You can have a beautiful, memorable wedding without indebting yourself to the point where your great-grandchildren are paying it off.
And you have to keep in mind no matter which way you go - lavish or simple - someone will ALWAYS be mean, obnoxious, whiny, and any number of other negative things about your wedding. Because human nature isn't about to change. So you just have to develop a thick enough skin to ignore the detractors and conduct your big day the way you want it, at YOUR convenience. Easier said than done, I know.
Re: weddings are overrated
^ or who come only to look for other hotties. 
Why are you guys limiting my options?? Have lavish weddings. Please. Invite the hottest people. And then invite me :halo:
one should have a simple nikkah in the masjid... but not just any masjid. find the one that charges the least. and get the closest masjid to your place to price match that one. for food, give the guests a coupon for a coffee and donut (one per family) for the nearest Tim Horton - but only if the family gave you a gift. also, charge guests money if they want to take a picture with the couple. finally, invest the proceeds into the stock market. win win situation...
The whole wedding hoopla becomes and ISSUE when there's competition involved (trying to outdo your cousin/friend's wedding even if you can't afford it). That's where the problem lies, when one wants to be extravagant to show off or to one up the last person.
However, I don't see anything wrong with the bride and groom wanting to arrange their wedding in the way that they've always dreamed it to be. Some like it simple, some like it more involved.
As far as guests who make snotty remarks about how the food was cooked, or how the cards looked, or how the clothes looked........let's be HONEST **here, we **ALL do it. Some of us may not make comments in a nasty way or tone and we have the common sense not to make these comments to the bride and her family's face.......but we do share our personal opinions in a more appropriate place or privately.
Everyone will have opinions. If we're going to get upset about arranging weddings JUST BECAUSE we fear the opinions of others, let's not forget that people will also have opinions about what we wear and how we do things in OTHER SITUATIONS as well. People will comment about your clothes and food if you were to simply hold a get-together at your home. You can't control them, so don't worry about them. Fulfill your dreams with sincere intentions and to only please yourself as opposed to outdoing others. A wedding, for most people, is a one-time and memorable occasion.
As far as opinions are concerned, since we ALL have them, it's best to display tact. If you don't have something nice to say, be smart it enough not to say it to the host's face.
it's not about affording it. it's about wasting money on something that people do only because of society and people around them.
i used to be in a fav. of big extravagant weddings. it used to be the biggest "dream" of my life to have a most beautiful huge wedding functions and all that but recently two things changed my mind. the first was my brother's wedding few months ago. where we and the larki walay spent all the money and thought it would be so cool so much fun blah blah blah. but honestly it was just another event. we all dressed up went there took pictures, talked to people and got back home. later i heard a lot of people complaining about a lot of stuff, that how the dulha walay didn't gave them enough importance, how they didn't get a good place to sit, how none invited them to come get a professional picture taken with the bride and groom blah blah blah. and that hurt me.
if i am getting married i want people to be happy for me, but that's the last thing people do, since everyone is so stressed, including your parents they all are in a bad mood and everyone is fighting with everyone else. i don't want all that.
another thing that changed my mind about big wedding is my friend's upcoming wedding. MASHALLAH she and her fiance are both really happy and couldn't wait to get married to each other, but they can't get married till next summer because her family has to come to the wedding and siblings can't come anytime before the summer. and even thought it's her wedding she has to be the one asking everyone in her family for the time when all of them can come, and none of their's dates are matching so she is very stressed about the wedding date and all that. if it wasn't for the society pressure she could have just gotten married to him few months ago when they got rishta pakka. but no they can't, because everyone expecting to have a big wedding and what would the world say if ur brother can't coem to the wedding.
Then why invite such people to begin with, whose fault is that? I still believe if you can afford it then do it. Money will be wasted if not on the wedding then on something else anyways, so might as well make your day memorable.
Re: weddings are overrated
Yeh, I have to admit that it is ridiculous what you are doing guys... Mainly as it is not definitelly a "once a life thing" for you either.. Sometimes 2-3 marriage for the same woman, each time one year of family income is going for the fuss.
...ok, i am not sure where to start, but recently i am just getting sick of the idea of big weddings. with hundreds of guest, thousands of dollars spent on venue, clothing jewelry etc so your relatives, and so called friends can complain later how they didn't like the way seetings where arranged or the chicken was cooked, or how the dress was too paindo, or to expensive (...and howtheir darzi can do a better dress in fraction of the cost)
why can't we just do a baat pakki and few days later have a nikkah in a masjid and rukhtasi. THAT'S IT, SIMPLE!
but no we can't do that, becaue we are desi and our parents would never agree to it because dunya kiya kahay gi, people will gossip and question that why they had a wedding in such a hurry without a huge function, what was the problem..blah blah blah, but the my point is, they going to find a reason to complain and gossip even if we have huge function and spend thousand of dollars, then why not save all the money and let them gossip when that's what they would have done the other way around too.
what do u guys think? i know weddings are suppose to be fun and all that, but i just think that they are getting too overrated.
bride and groom who should be happy and excited about their life together are busy fighting over decoration or upset over how their cloths didn't turn out to be the way they wanted. or upset over the fact that dj didn't play the song they wented to have on when they would walk in together. or something just as stupid and meaningless takes the happiness away from the moment.
P.S. i am not engaged, or getting marry anytime soon. i was just thinking about that stuff for future WHEN i get married.
I don't see anything wrong in inviting many people if you're really that close to them. For all the people you invite, you have to have the appropriate food and seating accomodations for them. Other than that I think people make too big a deal of it. I've heard of people spending over $50000 on a single reception. A lot of times, it seems people just spend that much and try to have a big flashy function to out-do others. I think that's just a waste, and it's even worse if you need to take loans to do it.
I find that people also spend too much time/money and headache over things like entry/exit/whatever else music, professional photographers and over the top decorations.
From my own experience, I'd say that the weddings I enjoyed the most as a guest were the ones where I've enjoyed the food and the company. No gimmicks needed.
Re: weddings are overrated
Big weddings are a waste of time, effort and money. All for show...Keep it simple, under-rated and fun. Use the time you have left over with your family and friends, stress free....
I had a big wedding and I regret it, i'd have rather gotten married at home or in the masjid if I was to have my own choice,
but alas my parents had their dreams and I didnt let my own desires get in the way, as they deserved the biggest say in it all....
Re: weddings are overrated
my take on this topic is, if you can afford it why not, this is a once in a life time thing for most ppl, so make it worth remembering, doesnt matter what reason you remember it for (debt ) ;)