[FONT=Verdana,Arial]It is also a Sunnah to offer two rak`ahs (prayer units) in which the husband leads his wife. This is a sign of showing obedience and submission to Allah when they are still on the threshold of their new family life.
Also, a husband is recommended to offer his wife something to drink after having some sips of the same glass. On making love to his wife for the first time, a Muslim husband should say: "O Allah! Keep Satan away from us
and keep him away from any offspring You may bless us with.""
It is not compulsary for the newly married couple to have sexual intercourse on the wedding night. They can decide based on their convenience. Walima will be Halal even if they have not done intercourse on wedding night.
If you are still in need of more information, don't hesitate to contact us. Do keep in touch. May Allah guide us all to the straight path!
Wassalam and Allah Almighty knows best.
[FONT=Verdana,Arial]Reference:
IslamiCity
I got the above info from islamic-city, i cut some bits out as i think there was a bit too much detail that would not be suitable on here, if you need any other info you can get from there.
So i would also recommend what sahar02 has said and just make her feel special, and respected and with time you both may feel comfortable with each other and can relax.
I wouldnt listen to your mates as guys just think its a man thing to do and women do not appreciate this type of view. Get to know each other and see how it goes.
Your so called "religious" men friends appear to be misguided. A word of advice, don't discuss what you intend to do / what u ended up doing, with them.
Nobody needs to know what happens on your wedding night, not anyone's business but yours and hers.
consumation of the nikah agreement requires that you be intimate.....however there is no definite or predetermined time as to when this must occur.
yes, it is true that until you have intercourse the marriage is not consumated and therefore can be annulled.
it is also suggested that the valima ceremony/celebration take place after the marriage has been consumated but I have known a number of different couples that were not able to meet this requirement and still went through with the valima. (most times the bride was shy/scared and wanted to wait.)
I wouldn't be worried about the nonesense that my friends are putting in my head. I would go with what feels right and what I need to do to make sure that my partner is comfortable.
i think the best thing in your case would be just talk hang out..beecome comfortable with her......its not always about sex and breaking through the 1st night...
you want your woman to feel comfortable in your arms and not be weirdded out bcoz she thinks oo he's a guy...he just wants sex..no woman wants to feel like tht
once uve a mutual feeling...take things as they go..ask her wht she likes...wht she doesnt like...be a friend...coz ur going to be spending the rest of your life with her and i think it will amke her respect u more...
isnt tht wat everybody wants? to respect each other right?
I vote hang out... theres plenty of years to spend making out later on and i think she'll always remember that he just wanted to get to know me on the wedding night. And since she doesnt know u i guarantee she'll be nervous as hell
it is also suggested that the valima ceremony/celebration take place after the marriage has been consumated but I have known a number of different couples that were not able to meet this requirement and still went through with the valima. (most times the bride was shy/scared and wanted to wait.)
.
I heard the opposite thing .. that Valima is the celebration of Nikah and not of the consummation .
^ Yeah that's what I've heard too. Arabs only have one celebration and they can have the nikah right before their wedding event or several months before. But even when they have the nikah several months before, the girl and guy don't start living together so there is no 'consummation'. the girl only leaves with the guy after the wedding event.
Consummation is not a requirement for the valima! A valima can happen right after the nikah is done....it's just to celebrate that two people have been married. Muslims all around the world only have one event whereas us pakistanis love to have a gazillion one based on our own created misconceptions.
I don't know what your sex life has got to do with any of your friends!!! Do they not know that Islam actually discourages you from talking about such things with other people? Tell them to keep their noses out and you take things at the pace that feels right for you and your wife to be.
Well, the reason I was asking my close friends was because:
1) They are all married so I thought they could give me good advice
2) Cant really ask anything else about this!
I too am leaning towards the part where I get to know her before we have sex - I guess i just have to find a balance between what someone else said...ie...making sure she knows I think she's beautiful etc plus that we could wait a bit before becoming more intimate.
Fingers crossed I wont screw up....my concern was when my buddies told me it was in our religion that it should happen right away..thats what confused me..
^ well now you know better so chill- everything will be fine iA. just be yourself and give her a chance to get to know you and vice versa.
plus, believe it or not, you are usually so tired at the end of your wedding, that sometimes its not possible even practically speaking- all you want to do is go to sleep!
Yeah thats what I thought too...plus I have like a zillion cuzins who Im sure arent going to leave us alone anytime soon....so it will probably be like 3-4am before we even get to be by ourselves. Not very romantic.
Yeah thats what I thought too...plus I have like a zillion cuzins who Im sure arent going to leave us alone anytime soon....so it will probably be like 3-4am before we even get to be by ourselves. Not very romantic.
Your the man, kick them out when you feel like it. She's your wife!
i know a couple...where the guy walked into the room.....(the girl was sitting on the bed all shy etc) and the first thing is said was ...."How you doin?" just like Joe on firends.....
ummm...Hollywood... what if it is her time of the month? Then you're going to have to "get to know her better".
I have similar concerns like you as I am getting married next July IA, but I've known my fiance for 2 years. I am hoping he doesn't have the same friends as you.