Re: advice from MARRIED WOMEN: should do or wait after walima?
Totally agree with stoppit! Please stop it!
Re: advice from MARRIED WOMEN: should do or wait after walima?
^haha, excellent!
Re: advice from MARRIED WOMEN: should do or wait after walima?
^ your avatar is constantly giving me a laughing fit .. ramadhan mein kyun cramps dey rahi hooooooo??? 
Hi Guppies!
I was wondering why the original posters question is not considered legitimate.
I dont see any realy advise being given to this person except that you shouldnt be talking about this.
Why cant she talk about this?
is it a religious thing or because of ramadan?
Please enlighten me.
I consider this thread illigitmate because:
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i think whoever has started this thread is highly immature … and there are ways to go about writing something … of course she never came across the term “subtle expressions” … (why do i need to know about someone’s condom for godsakes!!!)
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i am sure that the bride to be has her mother to talk to … or khala … or some older woman she can be frank with! there is nothing wrong with this topic that she(the bride) cannot talk to her mother herself!
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or is she talking about herself, using “friend” as an excuse
Re: advice from MARRIED WOMEN: should do or wait after walima?
This is wayy too creepy!!!
Re: advice from MARRIED WOMEN: should do or wait after walima?
u r nt married ... so stay away frm ths thread:)
Re: advice from MARRIED WOMEN: should do or wait after walima?
^^ ditto shudders
Re: advice from MARRIED WOMEN: should do or wait after walima?
What is so difficult choosing between 'doing it' and 'not doing it'?
If anyone else wants to give her more suggestions or comments, go ahead and do so because this thread will be shortly closed... f.o.r.e.v.e.r.
OK heres my serious advise.
I say she should go with how she feels. If she is in the mood, she should do it and if she is not in the mood she should not.
AS far as how she walks, thats a myth and she wont walk any different or be in any pain the next day.
Re: advice from MARRIED WOMEN: should do or wait after walima?
her legs will be fine after doing it. tell her to enjoy it and stop worrying about it.
agree
Re: advice from MARRIED WOMEN: should do or wait after walima?
my cousin's mom is not easy and relax person to talk. i talk to my aunty a few times.
i apologise on my cousin's behalf if she makes you angry at her ask me this questions.
Re: advice from MARRIED WOMEN: should do or wait after walima?
i don;t mind if this thread close, thank you
Wedding night...the first night.
Helloooo guppies,
Im getting married in a few weeks in Pakistan. My fiance is a girl my parents chose, I met her briefly for our engagement in November and since then have spoken to her on the phone a few times casually but thats it. The wedding was not supposed to happen till next year but a family member's poor health pushed it to december.
Anyways, I havent gotten a chance to know her as well as I would have liked...and now Im wondering what do on our first night....!
My friends insist I have to have sex with her the very first night as this is a 'must' according to those who know more about our religion than me...however I find this really weird...I mean I dont know her well enough, not even as a friend and Im sure she would feel the same way...but at the same time, everyone keeps saying it doesent matter...you have to do it the first night etc etc...
Ive never had issues talking about stuff like this with any of my girlfriends in the past but with my fiance - Im not at the same position just yet...we barely talk much - shes in Islamabad and Im in Windsor. So its a long distance thing....
I guess Im wondering whether - Im SUPPOSED to have sex with her the first night - or second night etc --- or is is it cool to wait a bit and get more intimate with time....and secondly how did you all handle your own first night 'issues' if any?
Thanzx!
Helloooo guppies,
Im getting married in a few weeks in Pakistan. My fiance is a girl my parents chose, I met her briefly for our engagement in November and since then have spoken to her on the phone a few times casually but thats it. The wedding was not supposed to happen till next year but a family member's poor health pushed it to december.
Anyways, I havent gotten a chance to know her as well as I would have liked...and now Im wondering what do on our first night....!
My friends insist I have to have sex with her the very first night as this is a 'must' according to those who know more about our religion than me...however I find this really weird...I mean I dont know her well enough, not even as a friend and Im sure she would feel the same way...but at the same time, everyone keeps saying it doesent matter...you have to do it the first night etc etc...
Ive never had issues talking about stuff like this with any of my girlfriends in the past but with my fiance - Im not at the same position just yet...we barely talk much - shes in Islamabad and Im in Windsor. So its a long distance thing....
I guess Im wondering whether - Im SUPPOSED to have sex with her the first night - or second night etc --- or is is it cool to wait a bit and get more intimate with time....and secondly how did you all handle your own first night 'issues' if any?
Thanzx!
Religion doesn't say that.
Re: Wedding night...the first night.
You do not have to have sex at any prescribed time. Please do not listen to the narrow-minded weirdos who think you have to have it on the first night. I think the first night will be beautiful for the two of you as you chat and get comfortable with each other. Be affectionate without being aggressive. If it feels right to become more intimate, go for it. Also see how she feels.
Be aware tho that she may have been fed the same lies about sex on the first night and how men always want sex. So if you don't show interest in physical intimacy, she may feel something is wrong. Make sure to talk about how beautiful she looks and to be tender and affectionate, without doing anything that either of you are uncomfortable with.
hareem01,
So there is no Hadith or anything with any guidelines for this ?
You do not have to have sex at any prescribed time. Please do not listen to the narrow-minded weirdos who think you have to have it on the first night. I think the first night will be beautiful for the two of you as you chat and get comfortable with each other. Be affectionate without being aggressive. If it feels right to become more intimate, go for it. Also see how she feels.
Be aware tho that she may have been fed the same lies about sex on the first night and how men always want sex. So if you don't show interest in physical intimacy, she may feel something is wrong. Make sure to talk about how beautiful she looks and to be tender and affectionate, without doing anything that either of you are uncomfortable with.
Sahar02,
Thats what I was thinking....I would be more comfortable just hanging out and getting to know her a bit initially and see how it goes from there...BUT all my friends keep telling me otherwise, some of these guys are actually very religious so I take what they say seriously which is what keeps confusing me.
According to them, it has to be the first or second night otherwise the marraige isent complete...which is what screwed my head even more...as if I dont have enough issues to deal with!