I dont talk about this fear of mine to anyone I personally know. I have an immense fear of the night of the wedding or the “eventual” night when the marriage will be consumated. I have absolutely no self confidence regarding my figure, his possible reactoin, etc. I dont know what to do, and I know many girls probably go through this. I dont know how to bring it up even. I was thinking of waiting a few weeks before anything but am fearing he might get upset. The whole issue of contraceptives and everything else…I feel faint just discussing it! What to do to ease the tension? Any books I can read!?! Sounds horrible doesnt it, to want to read books on the subject? I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO!!! HELP!!!
Learn to love yourself, then learn to love one-another
If you think your buddy educated enough to understand and discuss various issues like contracetion, contact him via email, or chat as it is the best way to start communication.
BTW its the most pleasent experience most of the ppl have in thier lives, and have a full and long night sleep before your marriage night so you may be fresh till late night, convey this to your hubby also.
It’s great if you’re already thinking about consummations and all.
IMO having some “cyber action” before the actual event is a wonderful way of breaking that intimacy ice… all from the cozy comforts of your computer desk… I sure hope both of you can type with one hand
Munni: I’ll make it simple for you. You learn how to walk as a child, it comes to you naturally. In a relationship you learn to hold hands then you are comfy, after holding hands you want more, maybe a kiss and you get even comfier sooner or later you two will be in each others arms whispering sweet nothings. Its all about comfort. Don’t think about it, just let it happen. You’ll see when it does happen
Munni: I won’t really have much words to allay yer fears but just as some1 said…it would come to you naturally. Don’t just think about it…just concentrate on being yourself! I think reading books is a wonderful idea. I don’t really remember the name but there is a beautiful book in 3 volumes, covering from B4 marriage to the marriage and post marriage intricate relations and how to cope with the situations-its a religious book and i am sure therez no harm if you want to be more informed. I am sure there are going to be plenty of this kind everywhere. I think you may ask for some help in this regard from yer married friends (regarding books and others) or other female elders in the family. I am sure they’d understand.
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Originally posted by Khanzada:
**I think reading books is a wonderful idea. I don't really remember the name but there is a beautiful book in 3 volumes, covering from B4 marriage to the marriage and post marriage intricate relations and how to cope with the situations-its a religious book and i am sure therez no harm if you want to be more informed.
**
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I think this book may be "behashti zewar" (heavenly jewels in english). But this book may be very out of date.
Don't worry about having to have sex on the first night. My wife was not ready too and I respected her wishes and we deferred for a couple of months. Just tell your husband you are not ready and he will respect that.
Don’t fret about it; my advice is not professional however I do know that that night is something that can’t be premeditated. You can’t plan nor can you be anxious over it. Just relax and concentrate on other aspects of your wedding day, its suppose to be the happiest day of your life (like the aunties forcing you to cake on all that make-up). Above everything never be dubious or remorseful of who you are, you should never have to put on façade to please other people, certainly not with someone you will spend the rest of your life with. Best Wishes.
many girls have asked me this....
many of them think its difficult to do it on the first night....
i always thought that i wud do everything on the suhaag raat....
but now i myself wonder if i will be able to do it....
i mean how can u get urself to undress before a stranger....
so i think better to wait till say a week or so....
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Originally posted by cat-woman: Munni, do what I plan to do - lock myself in the bathroom until he falls off to sleep!
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hmmm...is that a joke "cat woman"?.
Munni... what i dont understand is why are u so afraid to discuss the thing with ur new hubby. I am sure he would be just as much hesitant and timid about it.
U know what.... u wouldnt need to do anything , it would all unfold infront of u... its just like contemplating "how would i get off this crowded bus when my stop comes?" on a bus. Dont worry, it would be alright.
Munni, there is no religious obligation or anything like that to consumate your marriage on the first night. I would say that you should start your marriage in whatever way makes you happy. If you are unhappy about consumating on the first night, you should tell your husband so and ask him to respect your feelings by deferring it until later on.