Wedding gift spat spirals out of control after bride demands to see receipt | Toronto Star
Discuss.
Re: Wedding gift blunder
That's a bad looking basket alright!! Jolly ranchers c'mom?!?!?
A gift basket from Dean and deluca would have been more appropriate
My take on this wedding gifts is that If I cant afford to give out cash (hasn't happened yet) than I will just decline to go, I rather miss out on the fun than to become a burden at someone else's expense.....but sadly not many people want to think like this....
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but do you think the bride's reaction was justified because the basket had candy in it? they still spent money on it and probably put some thought into it because ready-made baskets usually have generic candies in them... what if these were their most favourite things and they wanted to share the "deliciousness"?
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Very very very bizarre and unforgivable behaviour on part of the newlyweds.
Regardless of one's opinion on the type of gift you should take to a wedding (cash or gift), taking into account how close the couple are to you, how financially strapped you are, cultural customs dictating the type of gifts to give, at the end of the day these are all just excuses.
If you decide to have wedding, that is YOUR decision, YOU are expected to bear the burden of the costs. A wedding is not supposed to be a money tree you plant, hoping to reap gifts in return, it is supposed to be a celebration of two lives coming together to make one heck of an awesome journey and anyone you invite should be invited because you want them to witness and partake of your happiness. If that is not the reason you are inviting them then I think you need to ask yourself why you are having a wedding and why you are inviting all thse randoms?
The only expectation you can unquestionably have of your guests is that they shower you in smiles and hugs and lots of joviality.
I personally would never have any expectations of gifts from anyone attending my wedding, and I would also make sure the budget was such that I had no regrets over the expense and didn't end up taking it out on my guests!
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Ironic how manners don't cost anything, yet seem to have been laid aside in this situation.
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Why did they bother getting married?! for my wedding i got 11 tosters. do you see me complaining?!!
I think they shouldn't have put in that they were two women getting married. It just gives an impression that gay people are freaks.
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Regardless of one's opinion on the type of gift you should take to a wedding (cash or gift), taking into account how close the couple are to you, how financially strapped you are, cultural customs dictating the type of gifts to give, at the end of the day these are all just excuses.
If you decide to have wedding, that is YOUR decision, YOU are expected to bear the burden of the costs. A wedding is not supposed to be a money tree you plant, hoping to reap gifts in return, it is supposed to be a celebration of two lives coming together to make one heck of an awesome journey and anyone you invite should be invited because you want them to witness and partake of your happiness. If that is not the reason you are inviting them then I think you need to ask yourself why you are having a wedding and why you are inviting all thse randoms?
The only expectation you can unquestionably have of your guests is that they shower you in smiles and hugs and lots of joviality.
I personally would never have any expectations of gifts from anyone attending my wedding, and I would also make sure the budget was such that I had no regrets over the expense and didn't end up taking it out on my guests!
^ I completely agree. If someone wants to host a wedding and feed me dinner worth $200....that's their decision. I'd be just as happy with a simple $20 meal. I've been to gora weddings that had like 50 people in it and "reception" consisted of dinner at a local, reasonably priced restaurant. I didn't think any "less" of them just b/c they didn't spent $$$ renting out a fancy hotel with hundreds of guests, and a meal with steak/lobster.
My husband and I paid for our wedding and never once did we take into account how much of it we will get back. Our wedding wasn't the typical desi lavish wedding. We only had around 120ish guests. But it was still nice and more importantly.....we spent what we could comfortably spend out of our savings without being stressed. If $34,000 was that big of a deal to Laura & her bride....then they should have just skipped the party and put that money into their bank account.
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How childish and obnoxious of the bride and bride. As said above if they were so greedy for money they should have skipped the wedding and kept the money.
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its a wedding between two women.
two bridezillas, one lousy gift. papapapapappammmm 
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Laadli and Paheli - perfectly said!!!
Guests are not supposed to pay for a couple's wedding - they are invited to help celebrate the wedding.
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Plus they made about 32,000$ since they claim each guest gave them at least $150 except 2. I would not be complaining! I got a lifetime supply of drinking glasses from my wedding and I am so happy for it.
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so is it a cultural misunderstanding as laura stated?
desi wedding guests are notorious for gifting low, or worse, regifting (another topic entirely!). italian wedding guests are known for gifting lavish sums of money. do you think guests should consider the bride and groom's culture/cultural expectations when planning gifts? i mean, a gora guest wouldn't gift a bottle of wine to a muslim couple... so by that same token, why did this couple opt to give laura and her bride a "cheap gift"?
i'm just fueling this convo- personally, i completely agree with laadli and paheli.
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Agreed a gift is a gift, and itās the coupleās responsibility to make it to the alter without expecting anything from anyone, but for myself I still want to contribute or at least cover the cost of my own plate. Any responsible person would think like this? Is that so wrong? Cost of everyday living is so expensive, let alone a cost of a wedding that to here in north America or even Europe.
Neverthelss that basket in the article is very ugly 
And FYI just so we are clear almost 7 years ago, my parents and I chose not to put ācash onlyā under the wedding invites for my wedding, I still honestly feel tacky putting that on the inviteā¦but I am seeing it now on almost on all desi weddings cardsā¦and yes you bet I did get a lot of toasters 
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that's terrible....how awfully snotty and nasty of the couple to do that.
You want to spend $200 on a plate, why would you expect your guests, an ACQUAINTANCE no less to help pay for it????
Wedding gift blunder
Wow ugly brides. That's so ill mannered and gross. Although that basket is also weird..they couldn't have gone to bath and body works or buy something a bit higher end "looking." I agree that the brides were out of line but the gift givers could of tried harder as well. $40 could get something nice from home goods lol a dishes set, anything lol
Don't invite ppl so your cost is recovered. Invite them to share the good times.
We had a no gifts needed written on our wedding invite and most ppl came empty handed. No cash either. Were we mad no of course not, we wanted those ppl to be a part of our wedding and that's that.
The gift might have been tacky but the response of the bride was cheaper than the gift.
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do you think guests should consider the bride and groom's culture/cultural expectations when planning gifts? i mean, a gora guest wouldn't gift a bottle of wine to a muslim couple... so by that same token, why did this couple opt to give laura and her bride a "cheap gift"?
1) Not giving alcohol to practicing Muslims has nothing to do with "culture". It's about respecting their religious beliefs. And I say "practicing" b/c I know Muslims who drink and have no problem receiving wine as a gift from their friends.
2) What we consider a "cheap" gift might not be "cheap" for someone else. Not everyone can afford the same amount of $ when it comes to gifts. None of us know the financial details of the couple that gave the gift. At my wedding, I had some guests who make about $40k/year......and then I had other guests who made $300K+/year. And the checks/gift cards we received reflected that. I treated them all the same and everyone got a "thank you" card showing our appreciation. We were truly happy they could celebrate our wedding with us. We didn't invite these people based on their ability to give us money to pay for a party we hosted!
Its very low class for Laura/bride to make an assumption that the ALL the guests attending their wedding could afford to give $150-$200. And I know with goras, many often have a tendency to want to be "creative" and don't necessarily think about the money.
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:k:
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BTWā¦I keep reading about this āgot 10 toastersā thingā¦did you ladies have a registry? Most of the weddings I go to have one. Does this concept even exist in Pakistan? 
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Agreed a gift is a gift, and it's the couple's responsibility to make it to the alter without expecting anything from anyone, but for myself I still want to contribute or at least cover the cost of my own plate. Any responsible person would think like this? Is that so wrong? Cost of everyday living is so expensive, let alone a cost of a wedding that to here in north America or even Europe.
But it's unfair to expect the guests to recoup the costs.
Also, you may choose to give to cover your plate, and that's great--but if at your wedding someone gave a small gift, would you have humiliated them (and yes, it doesn't matter how "cheap" the gift is, it IS humiliating them when you point it out) and thrown a fit? No sane person with a semblance of manners would do that and THAT's what so shocking and quite frankly...gross behavior.