Re: Wedding dress etiquette
^ Honestly, some might call me petty - but I would even out the money elsewhere. Let's say he was going to spend X dollars on something else for her. Now he should spend X - $600 on it AND he should tell her what he had to do. Tell her he has a set budget and he needs to spend within those parameters. She needs to respect financial constraints and if she is immature and selfish about it and fails to understand, that has to be discussed now. She can't spend what she likes and just expect someone else to make up the shortfall. This is what I called having a sense of entitlement and not respecting that real life has monetary and personal constraints that you have to respect.
It might be a harsh lesson for her and HER family, but best to know that now.
I'll definitely run this suggestion by him. Maybe he'll get a cheaper hotel for the honeymoon. Tee hee!
the thing that I don't understand is that when the bride brought the expense to the groom's attention for the second time, why did he ignore it? did he hope the matter would simply resolve itself?
he needs to rise to the challenge and learn to speak up about such matters rather than just hoping something will go away.....
she obviously gave him ample opportunity to put his foot down and he didn't.
You're right. He should have been clearer about not paying for the dress. He ignored it the second time around because he figured he had already discussed it when her sister had called and he thought she would get the hint that he isn't keen on paying but they were so......persistent! He never thought the mom would call from Pakistan. His only explanation is that they might be really broke?! Moreover, the mum didn't even talk him. She just left a voicemail on his work and home cell phone and also asked for some DHL money since she has a lot of luggage now and would like to ship the dress via DHL.
He told her he was upset....her side STILL asked for the money and got it. So this definately set a precedent for the future. What's going to stop the girl from spending over the budget in the future? At the end, she got her way. Spoiled girls who act like brats do this because there is no reason for them to stop. Despite the "lectures"....at the end they "win".
Good luck to your friend! I highly suggest you tell him to go with her when she goes furniture shopping! And for his sake, I truly hope this behavior doesn't continue after marriage.
:( I know! I hope talking to her will really reinforce his point of view and she would know better than to repeat this in the future. I am just shocked people can behave this way.
I don't think he should talk with the dad.
This should either be a matter between the women (the moms or MIL and DIL) or between the husband and wife.
IF it is true that he has to cut back somewhere else then he should. If it's not really a huge deal, then I think he should let the money go, but have a very frank discussion with his wife about his disappointment afterward. A whole bunch of people acting childish is not going to improve the situation.
Also, I guarantee there's someone she listens to too much encouraging her to behave in this manner. And he's going to have to keep an eye on that relationship in the future.
Yeah I think it's best he talk to her again and lay out exactly what his feelings and expectations are. And you're absolutely right about her listening to someone. She always gets influenced by her mom and her sister.
I just don't get it. Why do girls ruin a perfectly fine relationship for a dress? I totally get it's a wedding dress and it's very important but to create such bitterness between you and your future family over a dress is in such bad taste. You'll be wearing the dress for one day (ok maybe 2 if your sibling gets married!) but you're making such a negative impression with your in-laws. Is it really worth it?
