...I do agree with Stardust that if the mum wears the same colour as the bride, it is very special and very sweet too...
Re: wearing same colors as the bride... thoughts?
it bothered me when my MIL insisted on wearing something similar because she had been very difficult during the wedding planning and i just wasn't feeling charitable about it.
if she'd been nicer, i'd have had no problem!
it can look good sometimes but on my cousins wedding all her hallas, sister and close cousins wore red it did not look good as her red lengha did not seem vibrant in the video and pics compared to their the red colours everyone else was wearing. so ppl be careful
Re: wearing same colors as the bride... thoughts?
im so wearing all red... maybe wear my wedding gharara and get a matching red shirt with my heavy red wedding dupatta... :D
Re: wearing same colors as the bride... thoughts?
^ lol :p
Re: wearing same colors as the bride… thoughts?
I dareeeeeeeeeeeeee you!
My dress isn’t red though =( I don’t even know what color it is anymore.. can’t wait to get it, all this mystery!
Re: wearing same colors as the bride... thoughts?
I agree that the bride will always stand out no matter what - and it could look cute too. I've only seens photos when it's the entire bridal party wearing the exact same sari/kameez but not outfits in similar colors. I think what could also look cute is if the other people wear the color that is the accent color in the bride's outfit like the color that's in the trim of the dupatta.
Re: wearing same colors as the bride... thoughts?
i think it will look great in the pics and video - will look very coordinated with deco/stage etc etc
I think if your mother wears the same shade then its ok but it starts looking weird if the MIL wears it as well. It's like she is trying to outdo the bride. I saw wedding pics of a friend's wedding and the MIL wore the exact same shade and work as the bride and I thought it looked so bad!
But there isnt anything wrong with the mother wearing the same colour as the bride as it shows solidarity, unity and is rather cute. I think we just make a big deal over a rather little matter. The bride sits on the stage, she has all these people around her, the photographer and videographer film her every move, so if one guest wears the same colour then I dont understand why it looks so wrong. Everyone focuses on the bride so much they dont usually notice others.
It's funny how the MOTHER wearing the same color is fine b/c it's shows unity/solidarity but the MIL is just trying to "out do" the bride. I'm sorry I disagree with this. I think it will show even more solidarity and unity based on your logic, won't it?? Like someone said, the only colors that people should steer away from is bold shades of red on the wedding day, other colors are all fair game. and if I do happen to have the same color as the bride, as a guest I would just switch the days I wear stuff.
I also don't think it really matters what the mothers or married women wear, because that's just it, they're married. It's only when unmarried girls try to dress in the same color as the bride or try to outshine the bride that it causes problems. I think it's because it might send the message that she would have made a better bride. I mean no one cares what a 14 year old is wearing or what MIL/jhetani is wearing because, c'mon guys it's not really competition.
Basically: If you're a bachelorette, don't try to make yourself look more eligible than the bride (or her bachelorette sisters) by wearing the same colors.
I think it really doesnt matter if someone ends up wearing the same shades/colours as the bride and I certainly wouldnt mind either. As long as they r not wearing anything super heavy trying to out do the bride. I went to a cousins wedding 2 yrs ago and it was the first time I was seeing their family in like 15 yrs. I had gotten made a very pretty lehnga choli in the shades of blue/pink/silver etc and coincidentally, the bride (my cousin) was also wearing similar shades at her wedding but hers were lighter. When she showed me her wedding lehnga, I said omg these shades kinda look like mine..ppl r gonna think Im the bride's sister and she just laughed. Afterwards, she got her mom to call her our hotel room n speak to my mom n tell her to not let me wear those clothes on her wedding and instead make me wear them to valima.. I felt so bad. I saw their family after 15 yrs n thats how she talked. She even went as far as saying that if u wear those shades then dont bother showing up..and this is my first cousin Im talking abt. I felt really bad and hurt and from that day I made a promise that when I get married I wouldnt mind who wears wat shades but for their family, I am gonna send them a list of colours I do not want them to wear as they are specifically for me. I think some brides just over react with this stuff.. so wat if someone is wearing the same shade as u. Most brides wear red so ud have a problem if someone wore red? its such a common colour. I think it's absolutely fine. I think it'll be cute if ur mom n mil wore similar shades to urs. :)
i think she has every right to. At my best friend's wedding a lot of girls and aunties wore their shaadi clothing. We were annoyed because who wants to see their red wedding clothing, they should have been polite enough to wear it on teh valima and you shouldn't get your feelings hurt by what your cousin said. At least she was being honest and you should have offered it without saying it because a lot of brides are stressed and desire to be the center of attention, most fashionable, have a unique color combo and what not. these families spend so much money and time on the wedding clothing to stand out and be the center of attention. I also hope if this happens in the future you would be kind enough to step up and say oh ok i'll just wear this on the valima. Waht's the difference?
also once i saw a bride's picture and her family wore red and blue, her lengha's colors. It looked great, then the other side came by and tehy did a similar thing. her side the men wore red shirts and on the grooms they wore blue, all the women wore red and blue and it looked nice esp when some were in hijab. i don't think it's an issue to have both moms matching the bride at all.
i think she has every right to. At my best friend's wedding a lot of girls and aunties wore their shaadi clothing. We were annoyed because who wants to see their red wedding clothing, they should have been polite enough to wear it on teh valima and you shouldn't get your feelings hurt by what your cousin said. At least she was being honest and you should have offered it without saying it because a lot of brides are stressed and desire to be the center of attention, most fashionable, have a unique color combo and what not. these families spend so much money and time on the wedding clothing to stand out and be the center of attention. I also hope if this happens in the future you would be kind enough to step up and say oh ok i'll just wear this on the valima. Waht's the difference?
also once i saw a bride's picture and her family wore red and blue, her lengha's colors. It looked great, then the other side came by and tehy did a similar thing. her side the men wore red shirts and on the grooms they wore blue, all the women wore red and blue and it looked nice esp when some were in hijab. i don't think it's an issue to have both moms matching the bride at all.
it was not like her clothes at all. the colour of my dress was much lighter than hers. Also, hers was much heavier and her colours were divided in boxes.. first blue then pink then blue then pink. Mine was shaded blue pink from top to bottom not divided. It was very different. If u read my post, I said that its fine to wear similar shades as long as ur clothes rnt super heavy that it looks like ur trying to out-do the bride and my clothes were not super heavy, infact even the shade was similar..not exactly SAME.
People have different opinions but all I know is that if a first cousin of mine who Im seeing after 15 yrs flew all the way to attend my wedding, I wouldnt be a beetch and make a big deal over something that small..
Re: wearing same colors as the bride... thoughts?
^Like a few people have mentioned in this thread, when you're the bride, you are THE bride.. up on that stage and center of everyone's attention. Even if the entire guest list shows up wearing same colors as you, it's still your day and everyone wants to look at you, not what other 200-300 people are showing up in.
Your cousin just overeacted it seems. It happens.
Re: wearing same colors as the bride... thoughts?
Recently I watched a wedding video in which the SIL (groom's sister) wore the exact same colour combination lehnga as the bride. The work was similar (not heavier or lighter) and since she was constantly assisting the bride and playing a major role in the wedding and valima it clashed tremendously.
When it later transpired that her lehnga was specifically purchased for the occassion it really infuriated me. To top it off she had her hair/make-up and jewellery done like a bride too; complete with dupatta setting on her head. Imagine that!
I refuse to believe that she was making an effort to compete with the bride as I can't see the family being THAT out of sync with what is acceptable but it sure turned out looking like the two of them were in direct competition for the spot light......and since the SIL was moving around and speaking etc, she seemed to win.
This was not the first time that I saw this happen.
Two years back I attended another wedding in Karachi in which my cousin did the same thing at her own brother's wedding. She got outfits done in exactly the same colours and very, very similar designs as the bride for both the barat and the valima.
I was floored! Since the wedding was within the family and I was representing the bride's side I had no clue that this was happening or else I would definitely put a stop to it.
I know that everyone thinks the bride will outshine the others no matter what anyone wears but why take the chance? What if someone has no intention to but accidentally goes overboard? What if someone just doesn't have the manners to know better?
I don't think that anyone should ever where their own wedding clothes to the barat function. Save them for the valima of your brother or sister. And remember to wear them in a different way than a bride would.
Let's just be extra considerate of the bride on these two or three days that she has been planning for and looking forward to......
I wish I could post pics from these two events so that you guys could see for yourself how awful this looked.
Re: wearing same colors as the bride... thoughts?
how would I know what the bride is going to wear?
Unless she emails everyone and ofcourse why would she.... because her dress is suppose to be a BIG secret.
My sister and I and my mom do similar outfits or the same colors - or we all wear saris for an event. (no biggie)
There have been events where I have had better outfits that gthe bride. It wasn't intentional. I wear what I wear.
Re: wearing same colors as the bride... thoughts?
of course there is no way for you to know what the bride is going to wear......I am not suggesting that anyone make a conscious effort to find this out.
but there are people that will wear their own traditional wedding outfits (i.e. red lehnga etc.) and this becomes quite obvious......
my examples are both of people that were in the wedding party and knew specifically what the bride was to wear....in fact probably had a hand in selecting it.
Recently I watched a wedding video in which the SIL (groom's sister) wore the exact same colour combination lehnga as the bride. The work was similar (not heavier or lighter) and since she was constantly assisting the bride and playing a major role in the wedding and valima it clashed tremendously.
When it later transpired that her lehnga was specifically purchased for the occassion it really infuriated me. To top it off she had her hair/make-up and jewellery done like a bride too; complete with dupatta setting on her head. Imagine that!
I refuse to believe that she was making an effort to compete with the bride as I can't see the family being THAT out of sync with what is acceptable but it sure turned out looking like the two of them were in direct competition for the spot light......and since the SIL was moving around and speaking etc, she seemed to win.
This was not the first time that I saw this happen.
Two years back I attended another wedding in Karachi in which my cousin did the same thing at her own brother's wedding. She got outfits done in exactly the same colours and very, very similar designs as the bride for both the barat and the valima.
I was floored! Since the wedding was within the family and I was representing the bride's side I had no clue that this was happening or else I would definitely put a stop to it.
I know that everyone thinks the bride will outshine the others no matter what anyone wears but why take the chance? What if someone has no intention to but accidentally goes overboard? What if someone just doesn't have the manners to know better?
I don't think that anyone should ever where their own wedding clothes to the barat function. Save them for the valima of your brother or sister. And remember to wear them in a different way than a bride would.
Let's just be extra considerate of the bride on these two or three days that she has been planning for and looking forward to......
I wish I could post pics from these two events so that you guys could see for yourself how awful this looked.
This is exactly what I was referring to in that thread a few years ago about wearing your shadi clothes to someone else's shadi. What you described happening is really mean-spirited.
Re: wearing same colors as the bride... thoughts?
*All i know is, i hate when people rewear their wedding outfit, it looks so stupid!! Don't really care how much u paid for it, lock it up, and get yourself some new clothes. *
on my wedding, it was my aunties that wore the same culour as me, and were boasting about how she wanted to look like me....and then she made sure she was by my side the whole time....anyway what was funny was , that SHE WAS HARDLY IN THE FILM......which she noticed and was pissed about.....the camera man kept his focus on me, and he knew this woman was trying to outdo me, so he hardly took a still of her.....
Re: wearing same colors as the bride... thoughts?
about wearing your shaadi clothes to someone eles, well, thing is, i would only wear it to my brother or sisters or sil or bil walima....not their wedding day,wearing it on the walima is ok......obv duppatta wudnt be on the head......
It's funny how the MOTHER wearing the same color is fine b/c it's shows unity/solidarity but the MIL is just trying to "out do" the bride. I'm sorry I disagree with this. I think it will show even more solidarity and unity based on your logic, won't it?? Like someone said, the only colors that people should steer away from is bold shades of red on the wedding day, other colors are all fair game. and if I do happen to have the same color as the bride, as a guest I would just switch the days I wear stuff.
I also don't think it really matters what the mothers or married women wear, because that's just it, they're married. It's only when unmarried girls try to dress in the same color as the bride or try to outshine the bride that it causes problems. I think it's because it might send the message that she would have made a better bride. I mean no one cares what a 14 year old is wearing or what MIL/jhetani is wearing because, c'mon guys it's not really competition.
Basically: If you're a bachelorette, don't try to make yourself look more eligible than the bride (or her bachelorette sisters) by wearing the same colors.
The MIL should NOT wear the same colour because she is not the one who gave birth to the bride. She will always be in competition with her daughter in law because the DIL has come to take the attention away from the MIL.
I think it looks really bad especially if the work is exactly the same as well!
If two guests wear the same clothes then thats ok as well but if unmarried or married girls try to outshine the bride, then that is just SAD. I really dont understand why married women wear their shaadi joras to other people's wedding! the jora looks too heavy and uncomfortable to be walking around in and even worse so if you have a child hanging from your lap.
Let the bride have her day.