I think it really doesnt matter if someone ends up wearing the same shades/colours as the bride and I certainly wouldnt mind either. As long as they r not wearing anything super heavy trying to out do the bride. I went to a cousins wedding 2 yrs ago and it was the first time I was seeing their family in like 15 yrs. I had gotten made a very pretty lehnga choli in the shades of blue/pink/silver etc and coincidentally, the bride (my cousin) was also wearing similar shades at her wedding but hers were lighter. When she showed me her wedding lehnga, I said omg these shades kinda look like mine..ppl r gonna think Im the bride's sister and she just laughed. Afterwards, she got her mom to call her our hotel room n speak to my mom n tell her to not let me wear those clothes on her wedding and instead make me wear them to valima.. I felt so bad. I saw their family after 15 yrs n thats how she talked. She even went as far as saying that if u wear those shades then dont bother showing up..and this is my first cousin Im talking abt. I felt really bad and hurt and from that day I made a promise that when I get married I wouldnt mind who wears wat shades but for their family, I am gonna send them a list of colours I do not want them to wear as they are specifically for me. I think some brides just over react with this stuff.. so wat if someone is wearing the same shade as u. Most brides wear red so ud have a problem if someone wore red? its such a common colour. I think it's absolutely fine. I think it'll be cute if ur mom n mil wore similar shades to urs. :)
i think she has every right to. At my best friend's wedding a lot of girls and aunties wore their shaadi clothing. We were annoyed because who wants to see their red wedding clothing, they should have been polite enough to wear it on teh valima and you shouldn't get your feelings hurt by what your cousin said. At least she was being honest and you should have offered it without saying it because a lot of brides are stressed and desire to be the center of attention, most fashionable, have a unique color combo and what not. these families spend so much money and time on the wedding clothing to stand out and be the center of attention. I also hope if this happens in the future you would be kind enough to step up and say oh ok i'll just wear this on the valima. Waht's the difference?
also once i saw a bride's picture and her family wore red and blue, her lengha's colors. It looked great, then the other side came by and tehy did a similar thing. her side the men wore red shirts and on the grooms they wore blue, all the women wore red and blue and it looked nice esp when some were in hijab. i don't think it's an issue to have both moms matching the bride at all.