Re: ways to propose
S_t_a its ok i am not that curious to know either 
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isnt poetry in proposals a bit overrated? I wouldnt want all that buttering up and reciting poetry etc. But I wont say what kind of a proposal I do want. Thats a secret. :o
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How is it showing respect for the girl if the guy sits there with his mouth shut and his ammi is doing all talking? Would it be a good idea if the guy asked the girl’s father for permission to marry his daughter? That’s just as respectful.
Re: ways to propose
Mehnaz, i guess that would be the case if the marriage is completely arranged by the guy's parents or the guy just sees the girl and wants to marry her but if they (guy & girl) already know each other somewhat (like they r classfellows or something) then the guy somehow has to find out the consent of the girl before he sends his family to her house. so he has to "kind of" propose to her though the official thing is done thru the family later. hmmm.
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M_Q the whole proposal thing is overrated man. 
blah
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I have never understood the need for proposing. I mean come'on... if two people know each other well enough to be married, why there has to be this milestone of proposing?. Hey, two people who are ready to get married should be able to convey all this in their sleep. Why get on the knees?. Well you may get on the knees but not for proposing.
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yeah Mehnaz, I think our seedhi sadhi explained it well..that's the official channel. Respect is shown for all..the girl, parents..everyone. Not as fairytale like but still..
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lol. Well not really. I mean even in arranged marriages, after the families talk, the guy always does some kind of proposing. I think its cute if its simple and not fancy shmancy , poetic shoetic.
Its not that the mother proposes on behalf of the son. Usually the parents talk of the rishta, the actual proposing is sometimes done by the guy himself.
And I have yet to come across a guy who just sat and stared into space while his mom proposed for him. Time alone is always given to the couple to be married. And people often talk while sitting around at the time the rishta is being discussed. Most of the guys crack silly jokes. :p
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funguy aur yun hi in their sleep they r gona get nikahofied too? 
practical steps like proposal and then shaadi r KIND of needed dont u reckon? :halo: i mean if they have this intention then things have to be voiced and then they have to get on with the whole process innit
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mohtarma, mai tau hooN hee taiRRhaa…mujhay abb pata chalaa kay aap bhi kurree hain apnay he type dee… kyaa!
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seedha seedha keh diya.. mujhe sey shaadi karo gi? .. and in reply i got a smile... hmm i wonder what that means?
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M_Q i dono man, the way arranged marriages happen in my family, the first time the girl ever sees the guy is freakin after the nikah when she’s sittin on the stage with the dude and they bring that mirror thingie and put the dupatta over their heads. and even then she cant look at him properly coz the whole world is standing there so if she actually looks at him ppl r gona be like whoa what a behaya kurri
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funguy 
since when did u start talking like bollywood villains?
Ansoon hmmm i think u better ask her that
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I have seen way too many instances in these arranged marriage scenarios where the guy and girl are just in silence, often not even present when the proposal is taking place. I find that incredibly sad, but I guess that's just the way some people do it. Oh well.
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^ Now that is insane and uncivilized not respectful
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Mehnaz i agree with u. i dont think there's any section of society in Pakistan these days (maybe some remote areas of NWFP or FATA) where guys and girls do not interact, whether in school or college or workplace etc. so might as well let the guy and girl talk a couple of times in the arranged marriage scenario as well.
like some of my female cousins who have had marriages where they saw their hubbies after the nikah, and i dont get the point of it coz i mean they did interact with guys in school, college and so on so what was the point of avoiding interaction with the guy they got married to!
yeah maybe once things r decided they shudnt interact TOO much, but within reasonable limits is ok i think. and i think religion sanctions it too coz we r not living in that age anymore where there is complete purdah.
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WHy propose? Why get married? If people knwo eachother well enough to be married just let them naturally fall in a state of marraige. Forget the formalities.
Mehnaz I agree with you.
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Mehnaz btw,
the generation of our grandparents from where these traditions carry over was truly conservative b/c at that time there was not much urbanisation and effect of western culture so it made sense to follow some of these traditions b/c that was the need of those times. but i think the generation before us (our parents generation) went thru a lot of change, i mean things in society changed very fast, they was massive urbanisation, effect of western culture and so on, and societies do evolve, change does happen, and pakistani society has evolved in many ways too from our grandparents’ days. our parents generation was caught in the middle of this change so sometimes just to be on the safe side and so ppl dont talk, they take the more conservative route even though it could be not so practical and not even necessarily Islamic. (like not letting their daughters meet the guy who they r going to get her married too even though she interacts normally with guys otherwise). my own parents are not extremely conservative but not too liberal either so thats good.
Hopefully our generation can change things a bit more for the +ve 
Though I reckon i’m gona be one of those “eek larkon se baat mat karo” type of a paranoid amma
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No formalities :-D I think all guys would agree with you. Tell that to a woman who is waiting for his prince charming. Girls have dreams...FF how can u be so cruel :-)
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Are you suggesting pre-marital sex?
I wasn’t.
All I am saying is why the need for a man (or a woman) to ‘propose’?. Why not just say, 'hey, I think I can take two weeks off in June, you think I should start working on making travel arrangements for our honeymoon?" around that time?. how does your calendar look?
That’s all. ‘Keep it simple stupid’